Second-Hand Fear

 Fear and trembling seized me and made all my bones shake. Job 4:14 NIV Bible

It was the night after we had gone to visit a family member who was taken to the ER. I had been so afraid that person might not make it, that all I wanted to do was stress eat. Fortunately, God talked me out of it, but I still bought the bag of unsalted peanuts in the shell.

It turned out that the family member that we had gone to visit was O.K., but I still had the whole bag of unsalted peanuts that I bought the night before. I had been so stressed over the ER situation, all I had wanted to do was eat to calm my nerves! The funny thing is, I still felt something like residual fear over the situation the night afterwards and I still wanted to eat the bag of peanuts.

Somehow, I talked myself into thinking it would be alright to eat it, even though the Lord had it on my heart the night before not to do so. I am to turn to the Lord God for comfort and not food, which becomes a false god in situations like that. But did I listen that night? No, I ate the whole bag of peanuts, somehow feeling that I deserved it after all the stress that I went through the previous night. What a silly thing to do! I was deluding myself into thinking that second-hand fear justified eating an amount that was unhealthy for my body. Fortunately, the Lord God welcomes me back, when I stumble, but I shouldn't have pushed my relationship with Him to the limits. I'm so sorry about doing that!

I Was Caught Between Sanity and Insanity!

 Do not be afraid of them; the Lord your God , Himself will fight for you. Deuteronomy 3:22 NIV Bible

Recently, I visited a family member who got sick and was taken to the ER. The situation was so scary, I was afraid that person might not make it! It was about dinner time and we stopped by a local grocery store to get something to eat. My fear was so strong that my stomach was tied up in knots!

I was caught between sanity and insanity. One part of me really wanted to eat the whole bag of unsalted peanuts in a shell that I put in my cart. The other part of me, knew I picked it up, because of how afraid I was about the health of that family member. The sane part of me got some yogurt and oatmeal.

I had a war going on inside of me! I prayed and God let me know I shouldn't eat the nuts to relieve the stress. I had Him to turn to instead of food for comfort. Fortunately, I listened to the Lord God and had oatmeal and yogurt for dinner that night that felt much more soothing on my stomach. The Lord shows me what's good and not good for me, if I'd only ask Him.

Should I Have All the Food I Want?

 Your threshing will continue until grape harvest, and the grape harvest will continue until planting, and you will eat all the food you want and live in safety in your land. Leviticus 26.5 NIV Bible

So much of my life, including now, thoughts of food will creep in and try to kidnap me to days long ago, where my every waking thought revolved around food, what to eat, what not to eat, what I wanted to weigh, etc. I let food and my weight control my life. I ate when I was hungry, when I was bored and thought I was hungry, and when I was worried and felt like I was starved.

The Lord God showed me many years ago, that when I'm turning to food for comfort, it then, becomes a false god to me. I was turning to it, rather than putting these things in Christ's very capable hands. Once I did, food, the numbers on the scale, and all my concerns, no longer felt so overwhelming to me. I had this sense of calm, because the Lord had lifted all of these concerns off my shoulders.

It doesn't mean that I never had things that stressed or worried me. It doesn't mean that the scale numbers were always what I desired, it's more that I desired to be in an active relationship with Christ, and everything else fell in place. When Jesus, my Savior is first and foremost, these other things aren't worrisome, because I feel the Lord right beside me through thick and thin. 

I Should have been Full, but Still Wanted More!

 My mouth is filled with Your praise, declaring Your splendor all day long. Psalm 71:8 NIV Bible

I had a nice lunch out with a friend, but I still wanted more. When I should have felt full and satisfied, I wanted something sweet to eat. I'm hypoglycemic and I don't handle sugar well, so I try to stay away from sweets, other than fresh or frozen fruits. I can't say that I never eat sweets, but I have to make sure it's worth it, and that I consider it an 8, 9, or 10.

Well, we were at a Mediterranean Buffet and they had Baklava, rice pudding, and many other yummy, tempting things. I had been to this restaurant several times before. I had chosen both Baklava and the rice pudding, after my more than filling meal. I had a relative whose hypoglycemia turned to diabetes after eating too many sweets. So, after a previous visit, I had decided that I should choose between either Baklava or rice pudding but not both. 

Although Baklava is a 10 to me, I chose to get rice pudding, because it reminds me of when my mother used to make rice pudding and other puddings when I was younger. That decision in itself, wasn't so bad, but it was when I heaped it up on my plate, that should have caused me to rethink this! Although, I try to praise the Lord for all the wonderful things He's done for me, I found myself being greedy and focusing on food instead. I'm not proud of this, but fortunately for me, the Lord is very willing to refocus me, when I ask Him, and He can do this for you, if you truly ask Him. 

I Got the Big Potato!

 Do not have two differing measures in your house-one large, one small. Deuteronomy 25:14 NIV Bible

My husband and I recently got to-go meals from a place that has large servings. The plan was that we would each get a meal we liked and divide it in half. We would each one half of ours that night, and the other half of the dinner the next night. Since I had gotten out the knife to cut my meal in half, I asked my husband if he'd like me to cut his meal in half, while I was at it, and he did. 

I opened the top of both meals and was delighted to see what a large baked potato they had given me in my meal. I noticed that the baked potato in my husband's meal was a normal sized baked potato. All of sudden, it was like I had hit the jackpot. I had gotten the big potato! For a split second, it crossed my mind to let my husband have the bigger baked potato, and I'd take the smaller one. But just as quickly, I thought of 30 reasons why I should leave it as it was! 

In that brief amount of time, food had become a false god to me again, where it became too important in my life. The Lord showed me many years ago, when food becomes too important, when I'm focused on it, instead of Him, I've lost my focus.  Although there was nothing wrong with having or eating the larger potato, but it became too important to me. I find when I'm truly focused on my relationship with Christ, eating becomes something I do to fuel my body. This just shows me, I need to be prayerful about turning my food, my eating, my stress, and my body over into Christ's very capable hands!

What Seemed Like a Good Deal, May Have Come at Too High a Price!

 Sell us food to eat and water to drink for their price in silver. Only let us pass through on foot- Deuteronomy 2:28 NIV Bible

A younger relative wanted to take me to the newest, biggest grocery store that had recently opened up in our area. When I went in, a displace for discounted walnuts caught my eye. One pound of walnuts sold for $6.95 cents. I decided that I was going to buy and freeze two bags of walnuts. My family member showed me the coupon above it that said that if I bought $15 of their store brand nuts, I could get an additional $3.00 off the price.

I didn't want to buy a third bag of walnuts, because that would mean I was paying almost $21 to get $3.00 off. So, as I walked through the rows, I noticed a display of peanuts in the shell for $1.95. I immediately realized, that if I bought a bag of roasted peanuts without salt, that I prefer for health reasons, I could use the $3.00 coupon and get all of it for a little more than the required coupon price. 

I decided that since I got this wonderful deal, I would treat myself to some peanuts that evening. Although I had a filling dinner, I poured out a heaping bowl of peanuts in the shell to enjoy to celebrate getting this good deal. The thing is, this whole experience brought me back to a point in my life, where food became a false god. I turned to food when I was stressed, worried, or glad, instead of turning to my Lord and Savior. I realized that I was doing the same thing again, without even realizing it! This good deal came at too high a price!

The Pant Legs on My PJ's Seemed Too Tight

 Each is so close to the next, that no air can pass between. Job 41:16 NIV Bible

Although this may seem like a strange Bible Passage to include, it's exactly how my P.J. pant legs felt. This tells me significant things, because since the Lord allowed the loss of 80+ pounds over 30 years ago, I rarely get on a scale. The scale had sort of become a false god in my life. I turned to the scale to tell me if I was good, or if I was bad, like my weight increases or decreases conveyed what type of person I was. I found out that I should have turned to the Lord, God with these concerns, instead of my scale.

So, Christ guides me by things like my pant legs being too tight. This in turn, lets me know that I have not only not been following what the Lord has shown me is good and healthy for my body, but my relationship with my Savior has gotten off keel.

Of all the things, being out of alignment with my relationship with Jesus, is the absolute worst thing, far worse than any weight I may have gained back. It lets me know that I need to apologize for becoming complacent in my relationship with my Savior, and ignored what He showed me about how I had been eating and how I've neglected focusing on Him. Fortunately, when I realize how off-track I've been, the Lord always gladly welcomes me back!

I Was Feeling Sad

 Frustration is better than laughter for the heart, because a sad face is good for the heart. Ecclesiastes 7:3 NIV Bible

I was feeling sad and sorry for myself, every time I've been sitting at my computer, taking off the videos that I had put on the Christian Overeaters Past and Present Blog over the years. One reason it was tedious, because I had 927 posts over the years, and the vast majority of these posts had weight loss videos at the bottom of the posts, and it was time consuming.

The main reason I was feeling sad, is these videos seemed like they were a piece of me, that I was deleting. I would spend lots of time selecting what I thought were potentially empowering videos for viewers. But after finding this Bible verse, I'm not feeling so sad about it. I was trying to think what the Lord might be showing me through all of this. For one thing, I need to be more humble and not think highly of myself, because these didn't define me as a child of God. 

Too many of the videos were causing me to get indexing notices for those pages, where the videos were no longer active on YouTube. The upside of all of this, is by removing all the videos, when they become no longer active, it won't hinder blog viewers from getting the message of how the Lord God, has worked miracles in my life, far beyond any weight loss, and He can in yours. as well.

Am I Really Honest with Myself?

 Use honest scales and honest weights, and honest ephah and an honest hin. I am the Lord your God, Who brought you out of Egypt. Leviticus 19:36 NIV

This Bible passages is primarily talking about using honest, fair measurements when selling things to people, so they don't take advantage of them. But, it still relates to me, in that, when I'm taking portions of food, I know what an honest portion size is, but do I ignore that information?

Am I pleasantly oblivious when I heaping up my plate, and not being honest with myself? Well, the truth be told, I've done this far too many times, and I'm not proud of it. when I'm not being honest with myself, I'm also not being honest with Christ, my Lord and Savior. He loves me just the way I am, heavy or thin, but He knows that food, the thoughts of food and weight loss, became a false god in my life.

I turned to food for comfort, especially when stressed, instead of putting these issues into Christ's very capable hands! Once I started putting my life, my food, my stress, and eating into His hands, my whole life, and my focus on excessive amounts of food changed! Every time, I put invisible blinders on when I'm heaping on food, without taking honest portions, I allowing that food to work a wedge in my relationship with Christ and with myself and my family. I don't want to go slip-sliding back into old eating patterns. When this starts happening in my life, the Lord is very gracious about allowing me to return to Him, and He reminds me when I start to stray again!

What's Confidence Got to Do With It?

 So do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded. Hebrews 10:35 NIV

Actually, after I typed the title of this blog post, it reminded me of the late Tina Turner's song, What's Love Got to Do With It? But confidence has a lot to do with the 80+ pound weight loss that Christ did in my life, and He allowed me to keep the vast majority of it off for over 30 years.

You would think it might be that I'm supposed to have confidence in myself, but that's far from what this is about. In fact, it's quite the opposite. After going on what seems like 30 million different diet plans, and some of them several different times, I thought that if I went on my "Good Diet," I could loose all my weight. Now, that's confidence in myself. What happened is, I lost a few pound here and there, but I would always gain back far more weight than I ever lost.

It wasn't until I gave up and put my food, eating, and stress, into Christ's very capable hands, the weight started coming off after all those many years! I had told God, "I can't do it. If You ever want me to be thin, You'll have to do it, because I can't!" In reality, I didn't pray this thinking anything was going to happen, but it did! Then, I realize that I have to have confidence in my Lord and Savior to be in charge, and to realize that when I start to stray with my food, I'm more apt to stray with my faith, because Satan uses our weaknesses as a wedge to work into our daily lives. My confidence has to remain focused on my Lord!

Making Food Compomises

 Will traders barter for it? Will they divide it up among the merchants? Job 41:6 NIV

You need to be aware that this post isn't what this Bible verse is really talking about. It's just the closest I could get to being somewhat related to the topic I want to share.

I really enjoy going to this one particular Asian restaurant. They have reasonable prices, give lots of food, and it's very yummy! Yep! I'm a Christian Overeater, at heart, but I try to turn my heart and my stomach over to the very capable hand of my Lord and Savior! Although I try, I sometimes end up backsliding, at times.

I usually order Cashew Chicken, mainly because I enjoy eating the crunchy cashews. I don't go there often, but when I went this summer, I realized that it was sweet, when I was eating all the many veggies and chicken, thinking it was a somewhat healthy choice for me. I tried to convince myself that it really wasn't all that sweet, but it really was! So, basically, I was trying to barter and focus on a lie, instead of the truth.

Later in the summer, I went to that Asian restaurant with someone else and they were asked if they wanted the brown sauce on their Cashew Chicken or the white sauce. Well, I had eaten it for years with the sweet brown sauce, so I was willing to barter and see about having it with the white sauce, instead. I asked the co-owner about the white sauce, and she told me that it didn't have any sugar, at all. I tried it and she was right! I was able to eat all the healthy vegetables, chicken, and my crunchy cashews, but do it in a healthy way! Fortunately, the Lord God, had me realized I was trying to fool myself into believing the other one wasn't sweet, and once I admitted it was, He showed me a way to still enjoy it without all the sugar!

Through the Eyes of a Glutton!

 They shall say to their elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard." Deuteronomy 20:21 NIV

As a Christian Overeater, Past and Present, I have to admit that I have been a glutton many times over the years, much more than I would ever like to admit. During the main portions of the pandemic, they discouraged going to buffets, for fear of exposure to COVID. That took eating at buffets, off my plate, both literally and figuratively!

About a year ago, I realized that there was an ethnic buffet in our town, but I still wasn't going into restaurants that might be crowded. Later, the glutton within me, came up with this plan that I thought was brilliant. If we went to the ethnic buffet at 11:00 a.m., we would be there shortly after they put the food out, but before very many people would have arrived there. 

Basically, that plan worked, but the concern here, is when I'm letting the glutton within me, make plans that could lead me back into slip-sliding back into old eating patterns that aren't good for me! I don't want Christ saying about me, "Debbie is a glutton and she won't obey us!" Fortunately for me, the Lord God, reminds me when I'm starting to stray with my food, which is often an indicator that I'm weak and may stray from my faith in Him. That's something I never want to do!

Why Am I Visiting This Again?

 Of them the proverbs are true: "A dog returns to its vomit," and "A [female pig] that is washed, returns to her wallowing in the mud." 2 Peter 2:22 NIV Bible

This Bible verse answers this question about as good as anything else! The other day, I fell back into old eating patterns, and overate when I knew I was no longer hungry. I didn't want to consider taking some of the food home in a "to-go" box. I didn't want to consider leaving any of it on my plate.

I WANTED to eat every single bit of that large meal. It was a good deal, with large portions! Sure that's a good reason for making yourself sick to your stomach??? It would be one thing if the Lord God hadn't shown me so many lessons related to food and my eating, but that wasn't the case! He had shown me years ago, that food had become a false god to me. I was turning to food for comfort, instead turning to Christ for comfort. 

I thought I was long past this! But this just goes to show me, I can't become so comfortable with what the Lord has shown me about my counterproductive eating patterns, that I forget those lessons and flop back down in the feeding trough and wallow in the mud!

My Eyes Were Bigger than My Stomach, but Did that Stop Me?

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of lights. Matthew 6:22 NIV Bible

My eyes were just too big for my stomach, but did that stop me? No! I ate every last bite, although I knew it wasn't good for me. Why did I do this when I knew better? I was proud of picking such a reasonably priced meal that gave more food than the meals that cost almost double the price. 

The thing is, I already knew this, but I did it any way! I was trying to show the people with me what a good deal that this particular meal was. Actually, I think it backfired on me. Instead of realizing what a good deal it was, the look on their faces seemed to say, "I can't believe she's eating all of this!" That wasn't exactly the messages that I was trying to get across.

In the first place, why am I using food to get attention from others? I shouldn't need their admiration to bolster up my self-esteem. Actually, when I ate all that food, trying to make a point about how much food that meal choice provides, I made myself nauseated by eating all of it. To top it all off, I was nauseated with what I had done! I had reverted back to old patterns of using food for comfort, instead of turning to the Lord God for comfort, that goes far beyond one meal, since He's there for me for a lifetime, provided I don't let myself drift away by worldly things!

Was I Paying Attention to the Lessons I Had Learned?

 A discerning son [or daughter] heeds instruction, but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father. Proverbs 28:7 NIV Bible

Now, what I did was all backwards from this Bible verse. I didn't pay attention to the lessons the Lord God had previously shown me about food and overeating. And to top that off, I was the glutton, not some companion!

There's this restaurant I like to eat at, but we don't go there often. There's a particular dish on the menu that provides lots of food and it's one of the least expensive things on the menu. I recently ordered this and was pleased when they brought me plate after plate or bowl of more food.

It's not so bad to get a good deal on your meal, but it is bad to eat every last bit of despite knowing that you're too full to eat it all! I went home sick to my stomach, thinking about what I had done, when I knew I could have left the food on my plate. I thought about how I relished eating every single bite of it, something the Lord showed me years ago that's counterproductive for me. In fact, when He showed me this lesson years ago, I started leaving a bite of each type of food on my plate as a reminder that I don't have to eat every last bite of food, just because it's there. Obviously, I wasn't heeding the instruction I had been given from the Lord!

A Little Too Eager!

Now eagerly desire the greater gifts. And [still] I will show you a more excellent way. 1 Corinthians 12:31 NIV Bible

It was the birthday of a relative and we were taking him out to dinner. I had spent hours planning what I was going to order. I was going to gloat over what a wonderful food choice I had made. Well, these would most definitely NOT be the greater gifts.

In fact, I was doing the complete opposite to all the Lord God had shown me many years ago. In all this focus on what I was going to eat, and on the desire to gloat in front of others, I was falling back into old patterns of making food a false god in my life.

I was turning to food to give me pleasure, to give me worth, instead of turning to the Lord God for these. One of the biggest things the Lord showed me all those years ago when He blessed me with the loss of over 80 pounds, was that food had become a false god. I had turned to food for comfort to sooth me when I was worried, stressed, concerned or joyful, instead of putting these issues into Christ's very capable hands. Now, to top those off, was the issue of becoming complacent about what He had taught me and I wanted to gloat about my food choices in front of others. Complacency one of many ways that Satan can sneak up and fool Christians, into losing their focus on their Savior and all He's done for them. This was a big eye-opening realization for me! 

Don't Follow the Crowd

 Don't follow the crowd in doing wrong. When you give testimony in a lawsuit, do not pervert justice by siding with the crowd. Exodus 23:2 NIV Bible

I enjoy reading the Bible from cover to cover, a little each day, and then rereading it again, and again. One of the reasons I enjoy this so much, is that it sets a very positive tone to my day, but also, because there are passages like this one that don't seem related to my life, but have a way of giving me a personal message anyway.

Although, I don't relate to the lawsuit portion, I do relate to standing in a crowd and hearing them laugh at others, and condoning their behavior by joining their laughter. Whether that was laughing at or talking about others who were heavy, disabled, or different ethnicity, or different in some other way, it was still WRONG!

Actually, I didn't feel like joining in and didn't agree with whatever they were laughing at or talking about, because I knew what it felt like to be laughed at. I knew what it felt like to be talked about, but it wasn't easy bucking the crowd. Having been heavy a big portion of my life, I didn't want to stand out, and just wanted to fit in with the crowd, for once, but was it worth it? No, because it lowered my opinion of myself, and was so against what I stand for. I wasn't being the person that Christ wanted me to be. I wasn't showing empathy for the one laughed at or talked about, and I wasn't being a part of stopping that behavior! Although I still find it difficult to buck the crowd, I trust the Lord to show me how to convey to them, "It's not nice to make fun of others. You wouldn't like it if they did that to you!"

Don't Be Afraid

 So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:31 NIV Bible

This comes from one of my many favorite passages in the Bible. This is when Jesus tells us to know worry about what we are going to eat, what we are going to wear, what's going to happen, because He will take care of us, because we are worth more than many sparrows [very loosely paraphrased].

It was one of the many things that was a major turning point in my life, with my weight, and my faith walk with Christ. Control issues are my biggest problem. Although I didn't realize this at the time, I used to spend big portions of my days figuring out my budget, then refiguring it, trying to change it in some way of benefit to us. I never realized that all those years of fretting over how we were going to pay the bills, or buy food, I wasn't trusting Jesus Christ to provide for us. I had read this passage before, but I must have had blinders on, because it didn't really register until this specific time. It made me look at so many different things in my life, and realize that when I'm worrying about things, I'm not trusting the Lord God to provide our needs.

Although I'm not totally sure, but I think this laid the foundations for what the Lord showed me with my eating, as well. I had been turning to food for years, like a false god, to comfort me when I was worried or stressed, instead of turning these things of worry into Christ's very capable hands. When I finally, let Him be in control, our needs got me, without the stress, my weight started dropping off, without my planning it, and my faith walk with Christ, was on a whole different level, for He took away the fear and He can do it for you too, if you'd let Him. Just ask He, because He listens!

Be Strong and Don't Give Up

" But as for you, be strong and don't give up, for your work will be rewarded." 2 Chronicles 15:7 NIV Bible

I think I waited to hear someone tell me that most of my life. I longed for the words, I think that's, because it conveys I have some value, that's worth rewarded. No matter how many years I yearned to hear it from someone, a friend, a family member, a stranger on the street, those words never would come. I was waiting for someone else to validate my life, my value, and my efforts!

The thing is, Christ was always in the background saying this to me. Unfortunately, I had invisible earplugs in while the Lord said, "Debbie, be strong and don't give up, for you are of value, and your work will be rewarded." Fortunately for me, the Lord God doesn't give up that easily, despite invisible earplugs or an independent, stubborn attitude. 

I was blessed that Jesus Christ loved me as I am, and saw through my layers of fat, that hid my insecurities beneath them, from the sight of others. He showed me that no matter what my size was, I had value. So much so, that Jesus gave His own life for me, to save me from myself, the invisible earplugs, and the sinful things I did to punish myself for not being lovable. When in fact, I was very loved, but just didn't see it through the pain! But Christ never gave up and continued to tell me, "Debbie, be strong and don't give up, for you are of value, and your work will be rewarded," and eventually, I genuinely listened to Him!

I Pleaded with the Lord

 At that time, I pleaded with the Lord. Deuteronomy 3:23 NIV Bible

I pleaded with the Lord, about helping me loose weight. I pleaded in the mid-morning. I pleaded at noon. I pleaded in the afternoon. I pleaded at dinner time, and in the evening. I even pleaded in the middle of the night. And although I didn't hear an immediate answer from the Lord, related to my request, He was always there with me, listening to me, through it all.

He was with me, when kids picked me last for sports. He was with me with kids laughed. He was there when I felt lonely. He was there when I felt the need to put myself down, so their comments in return, wouldn't hurt so much. He was there, when I settled for relationships that weren't healthy, because I didn't feel I deserved better. He was there to pick me back up, when I realized what I had done, and didn't know what to do. The Lord was always there!

He saw me try to loose the weight on my own, only asking Him to help me loose the weight. But He rejoiced when I got to the point that I gave up being in control, which is still a very difficult issue for me. He rejoiced when I let Him, show me the way. He rejoiced that through my weaknesses, He's shown me strength, through Him. He can do the same for you, as well, if you'd let Him!

You are Too Heavy a Burden

At that time, I said, "You are too heavy a burden for me to carry alone." Deuteronomy 1:9 NIV Bible

Actually, in this passage, Moses is talking about that being responsible for all the Israelites in the wilderness, was too heavy a burden to do all by himself. One of the things I really like about reading the Bible from cover to cover over and over again, is that some Bible passages that don't seem like they relate to my life, due to the time difference, really do relate to my life on a different level.

What it made me thing of, is how truly I'm blessed that the Lord never said to me, "Debbie, you're too heavy a burden for me to carry alone." He waited patiently in the wings all those years that I prayed to Him to help me loose all my weight. He let me do my thing in going on a bajillion different diets. He let me do my thing, by going to many different weight loss groups. He waited until I gave up on doing my own thing, before He showed me that He was there all along, waiting for me!

It wasn't until I said, "Lord, I give up on ever being thin. If You want me to be thin, You'll have to do it Yourself, because I can't!" He didn't rub my face in how arrogant I was all those years thinking I could do it on my own, with a little assistance from God. He allowed me to realize that giving up the control in my life, and giving that control over to Christ's very capable hands was the most productive thing in my life. He continues to be there through the thick and the thin, with my life, my stress, my weight, and everything else! He will be there for you too, if you let Him!

I and Stubborn with a Capitol 'S'

 I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices. Psalm 81:12 NIV Bible

Although this is really what this passage is speaking about, it is speaking about stubbornness, which I have an over abundance of! My grandfather used to call me a bull dog, which really seems to suit me to a tee!

So, my prayers all those many years were, "Lord, help me loose the weight." I prayed it so many times, that the Lord God, might have wished that He had ear muffs to block out my hollow requests. So, He let me do my own thing! I was on so many diets, and went to many weight loss groups, and some several times, but nothing happened about my weight. Sure, sometimes, I lost a few pounds, but always gained back even more shortly thereafter. 

It wasn't until I finally gave up my stubbornness, that something different happened with my weight, although I didn't know that's what I was doing. I basically had given up on dieting any longer, and I prayed, "Lord, I give up on dieting and being thin. If You ever want me to be thin, You'll have to do it Yourself, because I can't!" That's when things started to change. That exact same day, the desire for large amounts of food, sweets, and carbs was taken away from me. The Lord allowed an 80+ pound weight loss and has kept the majority of it off for over 30 years. But it's not from what I did. It's from not being stubborn and trying to do it myself, but by putting it and my stress into Christ's very capable hands. And He can do it for you, too!

Patient in Affliction

 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12 NIV Bible

This passage makes me think about what it means more deeply. Being joyful in hope, means that I'm trusting the Lord God will take care of situations for me, which I was inconsistent about doing. If I'm being patient in affliction, I'm not feeling overwhelmed by my affliction, like I did when I was so heavy all those years. Being faithful in prayer, I hate to admit, doesn't just mean having the words come out of my mouth on auto-pilot, which has happened many times in my life.

When I was heavy, I knew the Lord, Jesus Christ, could heal me of my affliction, but it seemed that He wasn't paying attention to my needs, but was that right? Most definitely not. I had prayed about my weight ad nauseum, asking the Lord, "To help me lose the weight," but I wasn't listening to what He said to me. In hindsight, I feel He said, "Debbie, if you'd only turn your weight, and your problems over to me, you won't feel so afflicted." But did I listen? Nope!

After what seems like bajillions of diets and prayers filled trying to maintain my control, I finally gave up! I said, "Lord, I give up being thin, and if You ever want me to be thin, You'll have to do it, because I can't." And He did!!! I realize now that my prayers weren't faithful in Christ's to handling my worries, stress, and weight. It took giving up, before my eyes could be opened to see that He was there all along patiently waiting for Me! 

My Enemies Persecute Me

 "Lord, see how my enemies persecute me! Have mercy and lift me up from the gates of death!" Psalm 9:13 NIV Bible

Although I didn't stand at the gates of death when my enemies persecuted me, it sure felt like it at times! I was picked last for sports, even as a small child. It felt like they had ganged together to torment me, and pick me last, because of my weight!

In middle school and high school, I wasn't chosen to be in the popular groups, I had assumed, because of my weight. Trying to shine, in the crowded of ignoring faces, I tried to have noteworthy ideas. But they were overlooked, often to be praised when another person restated what I had just said. My self-esteem sagged, and I felt so alone!

But there was a point, when the Lord showed me that this approval from others wasn't truly what mattered. It was His approval of me, that really was significant in my life. Jesus Christ gave His live for me, as well as for you, and if He would do that for someone like me who felt persecuted by others, I must be more worthwhile than I thought. I no longer needed their approval, and my self-esteem wasn't yanked around by the occasional approval of some. It's only the Lord God's approval that matters, in the big scheme of things!

Promises, Promises

 "Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her!" Luke 1:45

I think that I approached my having excess weight as if it were a broken promise by the Lord. First of all,  the Lord never promised that I would be thin! But after reading in the Bible all those years about the Lord's giving people what they requested in prayer, I felt disappointed He hadn't given me mine!

Of course, it's easy to blame everyone else, including God for things, when we don't want to take responsibility for our actions. I'm not really talking about my actions in choosing to overeat, but my actions related to my prayers and faith. If I weren't so busy trying to be in control over everything, my problems, and those of everyone else and turned them and the stress of them, into the Lord's very capable hands, things might have been different. 

Fortunately for me, the Lord took pity on me, and showed me despite of my "control issues," that food had become a false god to me! I had turned to food for comfort during stressful times, mine and of others I knew, instead of prayerfully turning these issues over into the very capable hands of Christ. Once, it finally sunk in, and I finally started turning my stress over to the Lord, my whole life started to change! He can also do that for you, as well, if you let Him!

Why Has This Happened to Me?

 All the nations will ask, "Why has the Lord done this to the land? Why this fierce, burning anger?" Deuteronomy 29:24 NIV Bible

I used to wonder why the Lord God had me be heavy. Was I being punished for something? Did I make Him angry? Certainly, I could think of loads, upon loads of sinful things I've done wrong to justify His anger to me! But in hindsight, I don't think my weight had anything to do with God's displeasure of me or what I've done, although there would have been much to warrant it!

Through having the excess weight all those years, and God's having an 80+ pound weight loss, and allowing the vast majority of it to stay off for over 30 years, He's shown me many things. He's shown me the difference between true friendship and superficial friends. He's shown me, that my opinions are to be valued, no matter what size I am, and if they aren't I should be someplace that they are valued. I've learned that it wasn't my lack of control that led to my being heavy, but instead, it was my failure to relinquish control into Christ's very capable hands, which was instrumental in leading to the weight loss. 

I learned that I don't have to be thin, pretty, popular, smart, or any other particular thing, to have the love of the Lord God. He loves me just as I am, this very minute and size, whatever that is. I've learned that if He loves me the way I am, He also loves you, so please be prayerful about turning your life over into the Lord God's very capable hands!

Crying Out to the Lord

 If you do, and they cry out to Me, I will certainly hear their cry. Exodus 22:23 NIV Bible

Although this doesn't directly apply to the mentioned Bible passage, it does so indirectly, for I've cried out to the Lord, many times over the years about my weight. The thing is, although the Lord God hears when we cry out to Him, it is on His timing for these things, and not ours! It doesn't just necessarily happen the first or the 300th time you cry out to Him. It's in His timing! That's why I was so surprised after crying out to the Lord for so many years, about my weight, that He took care of it, when I was giving up trying! When I tried to figure it out, the Lord had it on my heart that it wasn't necessarily all the prayers that made the difference, but what I was asking in the prayers. I had been overweight and some unthoughtful people might have called "fat," for most of my life. 

I prayed so many times over the years, and came to the point that after bajillions of diets, and joining many weight loss groups, some several times, I was never going to be thin. So, I figured out, why continue to torture myself over this, I'm just going to give up. So, I prayed to God, saying, "I give up, Lord God, on ever being thin, and if You want me to be thin, You'll have to do it Yourself, because I can't!" 

Well, that same day, not the day before, or the day after, the Lord made this miraculous change in me, where I no longer craved extraordinarily large amounts of food or lots of sweets, and carbs. He blessed me with an 80+ pound weight loss, and has kept the vast majority of it off for over 30 years. Why? Although I can't know for certain, but my thoughts are that until that point, when I cried out to the Lord, I would pray, "Lord, help me loose the weight," where I was in control and God was assisting me. Now, it was different, in that, my control was being turned over to the Lord God. In my opinion, it makes a definite difference about what you ask in the prayers, and whether you want the control or are ready to turn the control over to the Lord God's very capable hands!

Finding Time to Pray

 And He left them and went out of the city to Bethany, where He spent the night. Matthew 21:17 NIV Bible

Jesus Christ didn't just wait until there was an ideal moment to pray to God, He made the time. That's a significant lesson for me. I make all these plans like: I'll pray when I use the restroom. Sometimes I do, but I often find myself daydreaming about what I need to do, or need to make for dinner. 

I found that when I go into my room and turn the lights out, that's my best way to pray, as long as I don't fall asleep. Have I done that in a while? No, and it saddens me, because that's the way I had special time with Christ when He first blessed me with the weight loss. He helped me identify what things were bothering that I ended up eating over. He showed me that I can't fix everything for everyone I care about, sometime even for myself. He was there through thick and thin, and do I find the time for Him?

No, not the way it really should be. Not in planned out, focused times of prayer. Not that it has to be at a certain time or place every day, but making my relationship with my Lord and Savior has to be a priority, not just when I want something or I'm afraid. Jesus Christ made me a priority, and you too, when He gave His life on the cross, died, was buried and rose again to save us from our sins. I need to be much better at making Him my priority, not just when I get around to it!!!

The Fear of Fear

 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18 NIV Bible

I was afraid of everything. I was afraid of not being chosen for games and sports. If I was eventually chosen, I was afraid that I would do something wrong and prove to them that they were right in picking me toward the very end. I was afraid of not being good enough, bright enough, pretty enough, and especially thin enough!

But my fears didn't stop there. I was fearful of speaking out in group, in case I might say something someone found offensive. That kept me from drawing attention to things that really should've have addressed. I didn't speak up for those who were laughed at, even though I knew what it was like to be laughed at. I didn't stand up for those who were left out for various differences, even though I knew what it was like to be left out. I didn't welcome those who sat on the outskirts, although I knew what it felt like to stand on the sidelines while others looked like they were having fun.

The thing is, God has shown me that through all my many shortcomings, He has given me an opportunity to draw attention to those laughed at, left out, and ignored. He shows me that I need to lead by example, here and now, and with what I say to others. It's too high a price to pay to give up for voice for including others and hide behind the fear of fear! 

Jesus Christ is WONDERful!

 He performs wonders that can't be fathomed, miracles that can't be counted. Job 5:9 NIV Bible

Being on this site, you probably already know that the Lord God allowed me to loose over 80 pounds and to keep the vast majority of the weight off for over 30 years. It was a pretty amazing and wonderful miracle. I had been to diet programs, joined groups, got staples in my ears, and tried so many different diets, and fads, only to regain more weight that any I had lost.

When I told God I was giving up, I really was. I was putting Him on notice, that I couldn't ever be thin, and if He wanted me to be thin, He'd have to do it Himself, because I sure couldn't. Now, it may not seem like such a big miracle to some, but that weight loss came from nothing I did. The day I relinquished my power, and turned it over to the Lord God, without even realizing that's what I had done, changed my whole life. Actually, I was expecting anything to happen, but God changed everything that very day. 

Immediately God made it that I wasn't craving large servings of food or sweets, to fill my bottomless pit, that always felt hungry. In thinking back, I think it felt this way, because I turned to food for comfort when I was stressed, happy, worried, or bored, instead of putting all my concerns in Jesus Christ's very capable hands. When I started doing that, the weight disappeared without diets, pills, or groups, although He has shown me what works for my body and what doesn't. He picks me up when I start to slide back into old eating patterns, and He reminds me that all power needs to be in His very capable hands and not mine!

I'm Not Perfect, Just Forgiven!

 Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgive, whose sins are covered. Psalm 3:21 NIV Bible

I've done some pretty stupid, thoughtless, unforgiveable things in my life, but I'm forgiven! I've lied, stolen, and almost cheated. I've done so many things I regret, they are difficult to remember. I did want to address the highlighted line, though! I told my mother that a girl named Sally, down the street had given me the money that I was taking to the store to buy candy, rather than admit I had taken my sister's money out of her globe bank. My mother was a very smart woman. She told me that she talked to Sally and she said she hadn't given me any money. How could I argue with that? I ended up admitting to my crime. The thing is, there was no one down the street named Sally. My mother knew all along that I had made that excuse up. I wasn't very good at telling lies. I stole some candy from the store twice when I was in elementary school. I didn't get caught, but it pained my heart so much knowing that God was aware of what I had done, that I could no longer do it. 

When I was in high school, a friend knew how worried I was that I wouldn't do well on my Spanish test, and offered to help me on it. I don't mean that she was going to help me study for it. She sat in front of me and she planned that she would help me pass the test. The things is, my conscience wouldn't allow me to do it. In the middle of the test, the teacher called both of us into the other room. The teacher must have overheard the friend in front of me telling me the correct answers. He scolded us and I was worried I would get suspended, but nothing more ever happened. I figured he must have looked at my test and realized that I put my less than adequate answers, rather than choose to put the correct answers my friend gave me. 

Yes, I've done many dishonest things in my life, but I'm thankful the Lord God made something interfere each time. They kept me from feeling good about these actions, whether it was my mother, my conscience, or a teacher. Fortunately, the Lord God made me feel good again inside, when I asked for His forgiveness for each of these. That's why I titled this, I'm not perfect, just forgiven!

When is a Fault Not So Bad?

But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Psalm 19 :12 NIV Bible

First of all, it's when you learn from your faults, so you don't continue to make the same mistake. But I hate to say, I tend to keep making many of the same poor choices over and over again, even though I know better! That's why this blogsite is titled Christian Overeaters Past and Present Blog.  The Lord God has shown me so many lessons about my eating and how food had become a false god in my life, turning to it in times of stress for comfort, instead of putting it into Jesus Christ's very capable hands. 

You wouldn't think that I would continue to make these same mistakes time and again, but it happens, when I least expect it. I carry the lessons within me that the Lord has shown me, but there are times when I get complacent with my relationship with God, and I find that it's easy for me to slip back into those old eating patterns without even realizing it.

Also, it seems to happen when things seem to be going pretty smoothly, when I take this blessing from the Lord for granted. I find it easier during those periods that I let myself become self-absorbed in one thing or another. Satan sees this as a vulnerability, and knows my weaknesses, and takes advantage of his opportunity to trip me up. When I'm focused on the Lord's will in my life, it's much easier to spot Satan's temptations in my life. But if I've put the Lord on a shelf until I need Him, which I hate to admit, I've done at times, and I've given in to these temptations. Fortunately for me, usually in the midst of giving into these, the Lord God brings me back into focus, and welcomes me with welcome arms!

Take This to Heart

 "Remember this, keep it in mind, take it to heart you rebels." Isaiah 46:8 NIV Bible

Although, this isn't really related to the passage in Isaiah, I do identify with rebelling against what the Lord God wants for me. Sometimes, it's the things that the Lord wants me to do. I know you might not ne able to tell this, since I've written so many Christian Blogs, and I'm somewhat ashamed  to share this, but almost every time that the Lord had it on my heart to write a new blog, I was resistant and sometimes argued with Him about it. How could I do this when the Lord has blessed me so very much! Yes, the Lord has blessed me by the weight loss, but in so many other ways. He's improved my sagging self-esteem. He has given my life, true meaning! Why would I even think of arguing with the Lord God? How can  do something like that to God whose been so wonderful to me?

I wish I knew the answer, but all I can do is guess. Maybe it's that I don't like to take new risks. Fortunately for me, Jesus Christ didn't say, "I don't like taking risks, so why should I put Myself out there for Debbie and others who won't appreciate all I'm doing for them?" I'm so very blessed  that the Lord was willing to give His life for me and for everyone, despite how self-absorbed I can be.

This passage demonstrates one of the many reasons I love reading the cover to cover so many times. In fact, it's how I like to start out each day. Even if I read something that doesn't remotely seem to relate to me, because of the time difference of when it was written, there are aspects of many of the passages that carry lessons for me to apply to my own life. I have found so many times, that these lessons let me to want to be the Christian that the Lord God wants me to be, and to be more willing to take the risks necessary to do so!

I Don't Want to Stoop to the Same Level

 Too long I have lived among those who hate peace. Psalm 120:6

When I was overweight in elementary school, I felt the reason I wasn't chosen for the teams was because of my weight and it felt like those people hated me! It was a terrible gut-wrenching feeling, and I was crushed! I think this experience possibly makes me more sensitive to others who are discriminated against!

That's why it bothers me so much when I hear how others hate so many people who are different from themselves, whether for racial, cultural, economic status, homelessness, political, gender, faith, or pandemic masking issues. It also bothers me that some of these haters of others, show hate to people who show empathy to these others. 

I find myself at the point of hating the the haters of others, but that would make me stooping to the same level. Fortunately, God has it on my heart that I am to turn this situation and how I feel about the haters of others into His very capable hands, because we are told by the Lord not to judge others. 

I Traded the Sword for Food

 Jeremiah 39:18 I will save you: you will not fall by the sword but will escape with your life, because you trust in Me, declares the Lord. NIV Bible

So, maybe I'm not going to fall by the sword, but unfortunately, I traded the sword for food. It was my downfall for so many, many years! And if you really think of it, food can be just as deadly as a sword, as well. I turned to food when I was worried. I turned to food when I was happy. I turned to food when I was bored. I turned to food when I was afraid. Actually, I didn't need much of a reason to turn to food!

Well, the thing is, after all these years of turning to food, the Lord had it on my heart that all that time, I had been turning to food like a false god. At first, I was in denial. I loved the Lord, how could I be turning to food like a false god? Well, plain and simple, I turned to food to comfort me in all these situations, instead of turning to Christ in times of stress, etc. to comfort me.

I was overwhelmed with the thought that I had been turning my back on the Lord all these years, and turning to food instead! Once He showed me this, when I'd get the "eat the door knobs off" hunger, I would find a quiet place and pray, turning that feeling over into Christ's very capable hands. Many of the times, I didn't know why I had that gnawing, starving feeling. But during the time I had with the Lord, asking Him why I felt that way, He would have on my heart what was really going on. Sometimes, I was worried about a particular situation, that I pretended didn't bother me. Other times, it was other stressors that I needed to learn to trust God with. It turns out, He was right, I did escape with my life, but a much better life than I had before I started turning these things into His hands!

Wandering Around for Food

 Job 15:23 He wanders about for food like a vulture; he knows the day of darkness is at hand. NIV Bible

I used to wander around looking for food like a vulture. I can't say that I don't still do it on occasion, but nothing like it used to be. I would have that "eat the door knobs off" hunger, that would come upon me. I'd find myself going through the refrigerator, through the freezer, the cupboards and back to the refrigerator again, looking for something to eat. Mostly, it didn't really matter what it was, I just wanted something to eat.

Was that "eat the door knobs off" hunger, really hunger? It took me years to hear the message the Lord had on my heart. It turned out that feeling was more an emptiness inside that I was trying to fill with food. The thing is, no food, and no amount of food can heal that emptiness that we feel inside, only Jesus can!

After stubbornly ignoring the lessons He had for me for years, when I started putting my food, body, and all my worries in the Lord God's very capable hands, I stopped having the need to "eat the door knobs off". My life was much calmer, which doesn't mean that I never have things that stress me. It means that instead of turning to food to comfort that empty feeling inside during those times, whenever I turn them over to Jesus, those gnawing feelings in the pit of my stomach go away! The thing is, He can do the same for you. It's not that I'm somebody special, we are all special to the Lord!

Total Control

  Psalm 142:3 When my spirit grows faint within me, it is You [Lord] who watch over my way. In the path where I walk, people have hidden a snare for me. NIV Bible

I realize that this passage is talking about people setting traps to catch people, but when I just read it, I related to it on a more personal level. Actually, that's one of my favorite reasons I love reading the Bible so much! It's like Jesus is talking to me personally, when He shows me ways that reading particular passages can apply or be adapted to be relevant in my own life.

Anyway, to me, the snares were foods that tempt me. There are hidden snares everywhere! When I watch T.V. with all the food commercials, all the food ads in magazines, and the foods sitting on my shelves are there, tempting me like snares. All I have to do is fall back into old, counterproductive patterns. I could easily get sucked in again to turning to food for comfort, instead of turning all my stress, eating, and food over into the Lord's very capable hands.

Fortunately for me, He doesn't give up on my easily. And even when I start to eat things that might trip me up and lead me to slip-sliding back into compulsive overeating, the Lord will have it on my heart to stop, and pay attention to what I'm doing. Every time I've listened to these instincts He has on my heart, He's made it possible to withdraw from eating whatever it was that was tempting me like a snare, that could trap me. I no longer want food to have control over my life, my body, and how I feel about myself, but I want the Lord God to be in total control, and not food!

I Should Have Been Watching Where I Go

 Psalm 119:133 Direct my footsteps according to Your word. Let no sin rule over me. NIV Bible

When I went to elementary school, I was walking with a friend down a dirt road that was next to the school. All of a sudden my friend exclaimed in delight! I immediately turned around to see what she was so excited about. She had been following behind me, stepping in my footsteps and she found a silver dollar. She was so happy, and I wasn't so happy about her finding this hidden treasure. In fact, I felt like I was being deprived, but was I?

That same dollar was in the sand in front of me, and if I had been watching where I was going, I would have found it first. Unfortunately, I was too full of myself and whatever I was talking about to her, to pay attention to the hidden treasure right in front of me. 

It seems like a life lesson! Jesus, our Lord and Savior and all He has to offer me, lies right in front of me. Not just in the weight loss He's allowed me, but the inner peace He gives me, not to mention the opportunity to spend eternity with Him someday, are all potential rewards I can receive, if I wouldn't be so full of myself and pay attention to where I'm going. The thing is, with this special treasure, it's not just the first person who finds it is the only one to get it. Fortunately, all who love the Lord, Jesus Christ as their Savior, can someday join Him in heaven, if they'd pay attention to the hidden treasure waiting for them.

Not Growing Weary

 Revelation 2:3 You have perservered and have endured hardships for My name, and have not grown weary. NIV Bible

When it talks about persevering and enduring hardships, I am reminded about all Jesus Christ went through on my behalf, as well as yours, and everyone onw else's. Being heavy growing up, I would be so crushed when friends would talk behind my back, but Jesus' friend betrayed Him, and another denied knowing Him. And I thought I had it bad!

There were times in my life, I felt disappointed I didn't have as nice a house as others. But, the Lord told someone who wanted to follow Him, that He didn't even have a [consistent] place to lay His head. I felt discriminated against, because I was heavy. People didn't include me in sports and other activities, and didn't even listen to my ideas when within a group, but paid attention to the ideas of others.

When I read how Jesus, our Lord, was ridiculed, spit upon, beat and killed, I am very humbled to I think of how I complained all those years. Jesus had done nothing to deserve this, other than to show kindness to the poor and marginalized of society, healing those who were sick, while healing the hearts of those who didn't know the love He came to share with them. Fortunately for me, He arose the third day after His death, so that I could, and everyone else who loves Him as their Savior, can someday join Him in heaven, where there will be no more tears.  

Needing a Money-Back Guarantee First

But when the men who had gone up with [Caleb] said, "We can't attack those people, they are stronger than we are." Numbers 13:31 NIV Bible

This paraphrased passage is when Moses sent twelve Israelites, one from each of the twelve tribes, over into the Promised Land, at the Lord God's command. This is because the people were hesitant to go over into it without having someone check it out first. They wanted a Money-Back Guarantee first, before venturing over. Ten of the twelve Israelites came back and said we can't go over there, they are tall like giants, and much too strong for us. The people got frightened and vowed not to go over into the Promised Land, which bought about lots of consequences with it. With refusing to take the risks to go to the Promised Land of milk and honey, that Lord had especially prepared for them, they spent forty years in the wilderness, for being a stubborn stiff-necked people unwilling to trust the Lord God.  

Sometimes, I feel like these stubborn, stiff-necked people. I have been reluctant to move forward on things that the Lord God has on my heart, and I want a Money-Back Guarantee first, before doing so! You would think that after the Lord allowed an 80 pound weight loss, and the vast majority of it staying off for over 30 years, I wouldn't have any doubts about anything the Lord asks me to do. I am embarrassed to say that isn't usually the case.

If the Lord leads me to share my faith with others, He has a definite plan and I shouldn't be so hesitant! Fortunately for me, the Lord God brings me back and refocuses me when I'm reluctant to do His will. This has happened so many times, and the Lord is refocusing me, I am humbled that I've done it, yet again. Why do I feel like I need a Money-Back Guarantee first, before taking risks? 

How Can I, Lord?

"Pardon me, my Lord," Gideon replied, "but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family?" Judges 6:15 NIV Bible

The back story of this is that the Lord asked Gideon to lead some of the Israelites into battle against the Middianites, but Gideon asks the Lord, "How can I do it?" Well, sometimes in my life, I end up saying the same things to the Lord, through what I say, but often by what I fail to do that He's requested of me.

I realize that there was a time in my life where I responded with disbelief when the Lord had it on my heart to do things for Him, because I didn't quite understand how He works in my life. That's like Gideon, who didn't know the Lord would have him return of thousands of Israelites, so that the Lord God would have Gideon win the battle with only 300 men. The Lord did this, so the Israelites would know that the battle was won through the Lord God, and not by the Israelite's powerful, large army. Well, the Lord does things like that in my life, as well.

The thing is, once I realized how powerful the Lord is, why do I keep asking Him, "How can I do this, Lord?" I should know better by now. He's allowed a miraculous weight loss of 80 pounds and for the vast majority of it to stay off for over 30 years. He has healed my sagging self-esteem & He refocuses me when I start slip sliding down a slippery slope of old habits and poor choices. He's had it on my heart to write different blogs for Him, to show others some of the many ways He has worked in my life. But most times, my reply is, "How can I, Lord?" Sure I have these insignificant reasons for thinking I shouldn't do something, but fortunately for me, Jesus didn't say when it came to giving His life on the cross for our sins, "How can I, Lord?" I have lots to be prayerful about!

Gaining the Weight Back Would Just be Small Potatoes

 As for everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. Luke 6:47 NIV Bible

Although this verse doesn't fully explain it, Jesus goes on to tell about the man who dug down into the rock and laid a firm foundation and it wasn't moved when the floods and torrents came, because it was well built [paraphrased].  I want to have that same firm foundation in the Lord, and not just because I don't want to gain all the weight back that He allowed me to loose.

Sure, I don't want to gain the weight back, but that is just be "Small Potatoes," to what I would have lost by not having a firm foundation in Jesus Christ, our Lord. He has blessed me in sooooo many other ways that are far more significant than the weight loss. Things that come to mind are: my sagging self-esteem that the Lord God healed, and left me with a positive self-concept, not just because of the loss of weight. Actually, I didn't have a good self-concept when I lost the 80+ pounds that the Lord allowed. I'm saying that He healed my self-esteem that was sagging, I thought because of all the excess weight I carried, but it was had more to do about how I felt about myself, as a person, than my size.

Also, the Lord makes me be a better person. It's not that I'm a better person, because I lost weight. It's the firm foundation in Him, that He tugs at my conscience when I'm being tempted to be judgmental, impatient, rude, hateful, spiteful.... and the list could go on. He shows me through His example for us, that I am to be much more tolerant, forgiving, kind, and generous! The weight loss He allowed may have been icing on the cake, but they are just "Small Potatoes" compared with all He's shown me and continues to show me within my life.

Then Your Heart Will Become Proud

 Then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. Deuteronomy 8:14 NIV Bible

You wouldn't think this relates to me, because I've never been to Egypt, but it still relates to me! It used to be that I was a slave to food and the desire to be thin. It controlled my life, and I let it become a false god to me. Although I didn't realize it, I turned to food for comfort in times of stress or times of joy,  instead of turning these over into the hands of my Lord and Savior, for comfort.

Once I started turning to the Lord, instead of to food, the weight started coming off, but not by a specific thing I did. I just started putting my food, my stress, and my eating into the Lord's very capable hands each and every day and every time I ate anything. 

He allowed the loss of over 80 pounds and has allowed the vast majority of it to stay off for over 30 years. I was worried when I lost the weight, that my heart would become proud and I would get big-headed and take the credit for the Lord leading me out of the land of slavery to food. Fortunately, anytime I start backsliding, He very graciously helps me refocus, on Him as my Savior, who saved me from myself!

Man Doesn't Live on Bread Alone

The [Lord] humbled you, causing you to hunger, and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors have known, to teach you that man doesn't live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Deuteronomy 8:3 NIV Bible

This particular passage really makes me ponder the portion about "Man Doesn't Live on Bread Alone." So many, many years, it seems the main part of my day was focused on what I was going to eat, what I couldn't eat, and what I was planning ahead to eat. Although my faith in God was important to me, it didn't play much of a role in this portion of my life, other than than to ask God to please, "Help me loose the 80+ pounds of extra weight."

At a particular spot in my life, the Lord God showed me that I had "Control Issues!" This carried through to my eating and my relationship with my Lord. Over time, He showed me that food and my obsession with eating and the hope of being thin, had become a false god to me. I was turning to food to comfort me in times of stress or joy, instead of turning to the Lord God, and putting these into Christ's very capable hands. 

Once I started turning to Christ instead of food for comfort, my weight started coming off, but not by something I did or 'willed' to happen! The Lord God allowed the weight loss of 80+ pounds and has blessed me by having the vast majority of that weight stay off for over 30 years. At times I've prayerfully contemplated this, in that I prayed for many years prior to this for the Lord to please, "Help me loose the 80+ pounds  of extra weight.] The response the Lord had on my heart was all those years, I wanted to be in control. I wanted God to help me loose it. It wasn't until the point, that I put it all into Christ's very capable hands, that it happened, instead of asking God to help Me do it! He can do it for you, as well, if you turn it into Christ's very capable hands! 

Pretty Amazing if You Ask Me!

 Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Deuteronomy 8:4 NIV Bible

When they are about to approach the Promised Land, the Lord God tells them by Moses, that in addition to the Lord feeding them in the wilderness (v3), the Lord didn't let their clothes wear out and their feet didn't swell those forty years of walking to get there. That's pretty amazing if you ask me!

Equally amazing, but more on a personal level is the miracle the Lord God did for me! After giving up on diets, many of which, I had tried multiple times, I told the Lord, "If You ever want me to be thin, Lord, You'll have to do it Yourself, because I give up!" Actually, I wasn't really expecting anything to happen. I was just letting the Lord know I was giving up. That very same day, I no longer craved plate after plate of food. I no longer craved lots of sweets and other calorie laden foods. It didn't happen the day before or the day afterward. It happened later on the same day I prayed this to the Lord God!  Pretty amazing if you ask me!

The Lord allowed me a weight loss of over 80 pounds. I never knew the exact amount of weight, because there was a point sometime after I reached the 200 pound mark that I stopped looking at the scale, because I was fearful of what it might say. Not only did the Lord allow that weight loss, but He has allowed the vast majority of the weight to stay off for over 30 years! All of that has nothing to do with me! Sure I backtrack sometimes, but I am fortunate that the Lord has it on my heart, and shows me that I am headed down a slippery slope. After realizing this, and prayer, the Lord sets me on the right direction again and He can do the same for you, if you are willing to let Him! 

The Only Way to Win the Race

 Do you know that in a race all the runner run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 1 Corinthians 9:24 NIV Bible

In that going to heaven someday is the biggest prize imaginable, it's the race that I want to run! Well, the only way for us to get to heaven is through our love of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Fortunately for me, we can't get there because of how good we are, because I am a very sinful human being. I have let food and other things in my life become false gods, and not realizing this, I have turned to them for comfort instead of turning to our Lord and Savior for comfort.

Food has interfered so much throughout my life, by my not being the person that God wants me to be. Because of this, I became negative about myself and others. When I finally turned the control of my eating and the control over stressful things in my life over to Christ's very capable hands, all of this started to change!

I no longer felt so negative about myself or others, for if the Lord God loves me, I should feel loveable! I didn't feel the need to punish myself for not being good enough, thin enough, popular enough, or pretty enough for the Lord God loves me! The thing is, He love you too! It is well worth your effort to start putting your life into the Lord God's very capable hands!

Laughing at Myself

[God] will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. Job 8:21 NIV Bible 

Although this isn't exactly what Job was taking about, it sure was a good fit for me today! I was making pumpkin pies for the holidays. I had spent the whole morning making these, but in my opinion, the process of making them is truly a labor of love!

 I made two pies on disposable aluminum pans to take to our family and two in glass pie pans for for my husband. I put the pies in the disposable pans into plastic containers to put into my refrigerator. Well, I must have zigged when I should have zagged, because the pie in my left hand started to slip. Of course, I tried to catch it with my left hand while still holding a pie in my hand. Bad idea! I had pumpkin pie splatter all over my refrigerator, the floor, and the refrigerator door and shelves!

Fortunately for me, God gave me what I call the Peace Which Passes All Understanding! Normally, I would have been stressed big time, but all I could do is laugh inside. All these funny thoughts went through my mind. I've been wanting to clean my refrigerator for some time, so now I have a reason to clean it! I also wanted to clean off the floor, because I got flour on it while making the pies, but now I had a wet rag to clean it up! I smiled thinking, that fortunately, the Lord gave me the instincts to make four pies, so I still had two pies left! Then, I could help but laugh at how comical it must have looked to see me trying to juggle two pumpkin pies in mid-air! I am very blessed to have an understanding husband and an understanding Savior who helped me see the humor in a messy situation!!!!

How Can You Say You Love Me When You Won't Confide in Me?

 Then she said, "How can you say, 'I love you,' when you won't confide in me? This is the third time you've made a fool of me and haven't told me the secret of your strength."  Judges 16:15 NIV Bible

Of course, some of this doesn't apply to me, because it's when Delilah asked this of Samson. The thing is, it applies to me despite that. It makes me think that the Lord God is saying to me, "Debbie, how can you say, 'I love you, Lord,' when you won't confide in Me?"

I get so busy trying to control situations, that I find myself forgetting to put my life, my concerns, and stress into the Lord God's very capable hands. When I'm worrying about things, it's like I'm saying to Christ, "I don't exactly trust You to take care of my concerns. So, I'm going to try to control things and make everything turn out the way I think is best for everyone." I don't know about you, but that rarely works out well. Although I love the Lord so much, at times, I find myself slipping into old patterns of trying to resolve issues on my own. Fortunately for me, He is patient and forgiving and brings me back to refocus on Him, as Lord, and to confide my heart's concerns to Him.

This is one of the many reasons that I love reading the Bible from cover to cover. It allows me the opportunity to find things in the Bible that allow me to relate to the Lord God on a more personal level. I realize there are those who think the Bible is antiquated with all the thee's and thou's, but if you read the Bible with an open heart, the Lord God has many personal lessons within it that we can apply to our own lives!

Wonders...

 He is the one you praise; He is your God; who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes. Genesis 10:21 NIV Bible

Really this referring to all the miraculous wonders the Lord God did when he freed the Israelites from oppressive labor in Egypt. The Lord God has done some great and awesome wonders in my own life, as well. Sure, the Lord allowed the loss of over 80+ pounds that He's allowed the vast majority of this to stay off for over 30 years. That's a pretty miraculous wonder unto itself! But it's the miracles and wonders that the Lord does inside of my heart, that are even more awesome than the weight loss.

He showed me, although I was reluctant, that I had let food, my insecurities, and my desire to be thin to work a wedge between me and my family, and my relationship with the Lord. I was cranky and irritable, which is probably redundant, but it describes exactly how I felt for many years, because of my sagging self-esteem. God showed me that my excess weight and the size of my clothing wasn't a determiner for my self-worth or my value as a person!

The Lord God showed me that by turning to food to calm me down when feeling insignificant, stressed, or bored, I was turning to food like a false god to take care of me, instead of turning these issues over into the very capable hands of Christ. Once I finally got this message, my whole life started to change. I was no longer eating over things that worried or stressed me. I no longer felt the need to let the scale tell me who I am.  My self-esteem was no longer sagging, although I don't know how to describe it in words. I had a sense of calm in my life. I didn't feel bad about myself anymore and felt more tolerant of others. These are wonders that are so amazing, but you should know, the Lord can do this for you, too, if you let Him!

How Old are You and How Much Do You Weigh-2 Tricky Questions

Genesis 47:8 Pharaoh asked him, “How old are you?” NIV Bible

This is really when the Pharaoh asked Joseph’s father, Jacob, later called Israel, “How old he was?” The thing is this question that isn’t always well received. Actually, my age, although it’s creeping up there, doesn’t bother me. I realized a long time ago, that people have come to dread getting older, because of all the media hype about people needing to be youthful and attractive to have value. I figured the best thing I could do was to be an example to my family that there’s nothing wrong with aging! It’s a good thing that God had this on my heart some years ago, because the wrinkles and saggy skin are really starting to be more apparent.

The question that always was more of an issue for me was, “How much do you weigh?” I guess, first of all, it seems somewhat intrusive for someone to ask that of another person. I think that I tense up when I’ve heard this question, although the Lord God has blessed me with a weight loss of over 80 pounds, and has allowed the vast majority of the weight to stay off for over 30 years. It immediately transports me back to a time where I was the last person picked for a sport, the person that other people tended to ignore, and the person that had a sagging self-esteem!

Fortunately for me, the Lord God showed me that when I put all these insecurities into Christ’s very capable hands, I don’t have to let questions like this cause such a reaction. It’s not because I’m no longer heavy, it’s more that the Lord has shown me that I’m a child of God, no matter what I weigh. No matter whether I’m thin or heavy or something in between. My weight and my age don’t determine who I am as a person, but my faith in Christ is the biggest determiner of my life and my inner peace which comes from the Lord!

Did I Really Learn Anything Through All of This?

 I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn Your righteous laws! Psalm 119:7 NIV Bible

God's blessed me with an 80+ pound weight loss and He has allowed the vast majority of it to stay off for over 30 years. "Did I really learn anything through all of this?" was the thought on my heart, so it's what I want to share with you today. 

• First of all, I can't be so arrogant as to take credit for any of the weight loss, because it started when I put my life, my body, and my stress into the Lord God's very capable hands.
• I learned that I am a sinful human being with many shortcomings, but the Lord loves me despite all of these.
• I learned that I can try to manage my weight and my food, but it always backfired on me, because I was trying to be in control of these things, instead of putting them into Christ's very capable hands.
• I learned that when I turned to food to calm me when I was stress or bored, I was making food a false god, instead of turning these things over to Jesus to be in control of my life and my family's lives.
• I learned that if I am prayerful and truly listen to the feelings He puts on my heart, the Lord will show and guide me about what I should and shouldn't do.
• I learned that the Lord God loves me just as I am whether I am thin or heavy or something in between!
• I learned that there have been times where I didn't love myself whether I was thin or heavy or something in between!
• I learned that when I'm fearful or stressed, if I pray about it, the Lord God always sees the BIG picture and will either take care of the issue in His timing, or guide me in what I should or shouldn't do.
• I learned that just because I was blessed with losing weight, doesn't make me more special than anyone else, because the Lord can do this for each of us, if we truly ask Him. [Note: He had lessons for me to learn first, like how food had become a false god in my life, before He allowed the weight to come off.]
• I learned that when the Lord has done something so wonderful for us, it's good to be open to sharing it with others in a way that's beneficial and not arrogant.
• I've learned that I don't truly have lessons for you to learn. I'm just writing down the things the Lord has on my heart to share.

Worrying, Fretting, Stressing, It's All the Same Thing!

 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:27 NIV Bible

I used to plan my budget before the next month and I would worry all month whether I'd have enough money to pay our monthly bills. I stressed about it and fretted over it and ate my heart out with worry! 

At a point, the Lord God showed me that worrying, fretting, and stressing all show that I don't trust the Lord God to take care of me and my family. It's as if I were saying, "Lord, I'm not sure You are going to provide food for us and have us make our financial obligations, so I'm going to try to figure out a different plan, in case You fail to take care of us!" When I realized that's what I was saying to my Lord and Savior, I was terribly saddened. 

He had given His life on the cross to save me from my many sins and shortcomings, yet I didn't trust Him enough to take care of us! It was difficult at first, to turn all the planning and recalculating over into Christ's very capable hands, but when I did, things started falling into place! It was so amazing! There was ample food to eat and the monthly financial obligations got paid. The more I put this in the Lord God's very capable hands, the less stress I had and the less I ate over the things out of my control that I ate over. This made a major difference in my life, my stress level, and my body!