Since I have used this Bible passage as an example of how the Lord God has positively influenced my overeating, this doesn't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the verse. Debbie

COE Support Note:

If you REALLY want to read how Christ helped me throughout this weight loss and even when I was tempted, you should read some of the 100's of previous posts on https://christianovereaterssupport.blogspot.com/

Back into the Control Doldrums Again!

Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 

One of the biggest things I found out when Christ allowed me to lose 80+ pounds and to keep the vast majority of it off for over 30 years, is that a big problem I had was giving up control to Christ. All the years prior to that, I asked, "God help ME lose the weight." "Help Me become Thin." "Help me..." When I did finally put it into Christ's very capable hands after all those years and gave up [control] He allowed the weight loss. It's been an amazing and uplifting experience, but I'm back into the control doldrums again!

My dad told the nurses that he would like Hospice services for his pain. I couldn't get the nerve to sign the papers for him on my own and asked the nurses to ask my dad if he really wanted this assistance and he did. I thought that would make it easier, and it maybe has, but I keep trying to be in control so much that I can't feel any relief.

Upon signing the Hospice paperwork for my dad, they handed me a 59 page booklet. Being a dutiful daughter and a retired teacher, I felt I should read it all and as soon as possible. Right??? Well, the last two nights that I have been reading the booklet, I have had severe pains in my head. The first night, there was a burning sensation all along the right side of my face. I was concerned that it might be signs of a stroke, so I chewed up two baby aspirins. I didn't connect it to reading the Hospice booklet at the time. 

The next night, after finishing the booklet, I had severe stabbing feelings in the right side of my skull above and behind my ear. My husband told me to stop reading the Hospice information. I was trying to read the three additional, smaller packets of info they had given me. I finished reading one and a half packets and put it down, just in case my husband was right about why my head hurt so much. It still hurt periodically in the night any time I would think of my dad or Hospice. It hurt so bad, I thought I had an aneurysm causing the pain. Christ gave me the idea to take a Tylenol to see if it went away and it did. That showed me that the stress over Hospice and my dad's pending passing were getting the best of me. I was trying to control things again instead of putting all of this into Christ's very capable hands like I did over 30 years ago. I am praying for Christ healing touch in my life and a willingness to put the control of these situations in Christ's hands where they belong-not mine!

Because these posts are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my life, they don't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse. Debbie

The Chicken Way Out!

Ephesians 2:10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

I know the nurses told me that it was time that Dad should go on Hospice services. I had been putting it off for years now, because Dad never was in much pain. He got an occasional headache which Tylenol cured and his legs would get tangled, because of the Parkinson's Disease. Once they were untangle and re-positioned, his pain subsided.

 This time was different, though. They said that Dad had said to one of the nurses that he was through, had  enough! It didn't sound like my dad. My dad was a fighter and didn't give up easily. My dad wanted to live forever, which I know isn't a realistic thought, but that's how he approached his life. I know Dad never wanted me to sign paper work of this nature in the past and it weighed heavily on me to sign it. I asked the head nurse at the Veteran's Home if she would ask Dad if he wanted the extra pain relief that Hospice services would provide and he told them yes. 

 I had used the chicken way out, letting Dad say he wanted these services rather than my making the decision for him. Part of that is good, because it should be the patient who determines what is best for them. The part that isn't so good, is that I didn't want that responsibility or guilt on my shoulders and I quickly abdicated any responsibility for this decision and put it in the nurses hands. The thing is, I didn't totally let go of the responsibility and guilt, because I've been wanting to eat at times when I know I'm not hungry or foods that I know aren't good for me. These are signs that I'm not putting this decisions and my dad's situation in Christ's hands and I really need to. 
Because these posts are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my life, they don't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse. Debbie

Yes, I'm Hungry Again. I Understand Why, but Still Want to Eat...

1 Corinthians 15: 20 But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the first fruits of them that slept. 21 For since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead. 22 for as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.

Yes, I'm hungry again. I understand why, but still want to eat. I went to the Veteran's Home today for a Quarterly Care Plan Meeting about my dad. I knew the topic of Hospice would be coming up, because I told them the previous week I wanted to pursue some things, first, before I discussed it further at the meeting.  

 I had them take Xrays and they found that Dad had Oesteo Arthritis in his back and tail bone. They upped Dad's meds to Arthritis Strength Tylenol to help his pain. I wanted to wait to see if this handled his pain sufficiently, before deciding on Hospice. Since, I was told Dad was still in pain, at times, I asked the nurse to see if Dad wanted Hospice services to help with his pain and he did.

 On the way home, after signing all the Hospice papers, I was so hungry. I realize my hunger has to do with the stress that signing Hospice papers brought on. Even though I understand why I feel hungry, I still want to eat. When I got home, I wanted ice cream, something I rarely have, because I have Hypoglycemia. Then, I wanted my grandson's Vanilla Yogurt. I know that this stress I'm experiencing with the signing of the Hospice signing is leading to my craving sugar instead of just eating an apple, etc. Instead, I have to be aware of this and turn this stress over to Christ's very capable hands to help me through this stage in my dad's life.

Because these posts are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my life, they don't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse. Debbie

Pistachio Ice Cream

Luke 4:18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He hath anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He hath sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,

I picked this Bible Passage, because it called out to me. That's exactly what Jesus did for me. He healed the broken hearted. He healed me of my compulsive overeating and my turning to food in times of stress instead of turning to Him. He showed me that food had become a false god to me. Now I try to put my food, body, stress, and eating into His very capable hands, but there are times when I slip up. Fortunately for me, Christ is very forgiving and refocuses me when that happens. Here's an example:

 My grandkids know that I don't eat sweets, because I have Hypoglycemia which can make me cranky at a later point when my sugar levels bottom out. I just find it easier to not have any refined sugar at all. I was at Braum's and my grandsons got milk shakes. The younger of the two got a shake with one of their specialty ice creams: Pistachio Ice Cream. He begged and begged for me to take just a little bite. I did and it was chock full of nuts, my downfall. Once he knew how much I enjoyed it, he begged me to take another bite before he finished off his shake and I did. Oh, my! I know better.

 The next time we went to Braums, my younger grandson asked for the Pistachio Milk Shake again, but they were out of this seasonal treat. I was secretly disappointed, because I had been looking forward to another nutty bite of it. The next week, I looked through their showcase of ice creams to see if it was there. Although I appeared to be just window shopping, I had mentally determined that if I found that nutty Pistachio Ice Cream, I would buy a carton for my grandson. Right??? Fortunately for me, there wasn't any more of that ice cream available. Christ showed me that, because of some stressful issues of late, I was being more vulnerable to the temptations that Satan dangles in front of me, when he thinks I might slip up. I'm so glad Christ saves me from myself and my weaknesses, especially when I'm vulnerable. 

Because these posts are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my life, they don't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse. Debbie

Trying to Fight What Might be Inevitable!

1 Timothy 6: 17 Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy; 18 That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate; 19Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.

The nurse told me yesterday that I should contemplate getting Hospice for Dad, since his remark that he's giving up. In the middle of the night, I couldn't go back to sleep. I had suggestions from a family member and the things the nurse said floating around in my mind. 

 When I got up, I called the Veteran's Home and talked to the nurse to address my concerns about what was causing my dad so much pain when he sits. They had checked regularly for me, but Dad has no bed sores. I told her that I wanted to have Dad's back, tail bone and pelvis Xrayed, to rule out the possibility of a broken bone in his frail body. It turned out that Dad doesn't have any broken bones, but does have arthritis in his back and in his tail bone. The nurse was changing Dad's med, so he would start getting Arthritis Strength Tylenol. 

 I did cross paths in the hall with the lady who had a purse that had the name of one of the Hospice companies. I asked her for some literature, but still mentally fought the idea of using those services for my dad. I was mistakenly sure that Dad might turn around and bounce out of this latest episode, one more time. By the time I was ready to leave, Dad was somewhat disoriented and couldn't get his lower dentures back into his mouth. I washed them off and put them in his denture cup. 

  You would think that interaction with Dad would have me be more realistic about what might be inevitable. Instead, I ate more than I needed that night and the next day, I got a foam bed pad to be taken to the Veteran's Home, hoping to make Dad's bed more comfortable for his tail bone.  When I wrote a note to the nurse explaining about the foam bed pad, I kept saying how I wanted to alleviate Dad's pain and make Dad more comfortable. Christ kept reminding me that's exactly the goal of Hospice. This happened several times, before I really allowed myself to mentally acknowledge the connection. I still need to be prayerful about putting my dad in Christ's very capable hands, instead of fighting so hard to divert what may be inevitable.

Because these posts are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my life, they don't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse. Debbie

At a Friend's Funeral

James 5: 13 Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms. 14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: 15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. 

We had visited Dad in the Veteran's Home earlier in the day, me with hopes of encouraging my dad to have a new zest for living, since I had heard from the nurse that he said he had given up. Later that day, my husband and I went to the funeral of a friend. I knew the minister some, because sat together with my friend's wife at one of the outside commemorations for Veteran's. 

 After the service, I went to tell him that it had been an inspiring service. I had hoped he'd go and pray over my dad and give him the will to live, but that's not what his job is, so I didn't ask that. Instead, I prayed for him to pray for my dad and that my dad's faith in Christ is sufficient to join him in heaven when Jesus calls him. He agreed to do so. 

 Instead of being reassured like I should have been, I ate much more than usual, hiding my fears about my dad's in all that I ate. I need to keep reminding myself that I need to put all of this in Christ's very capable hands! You wouldn't think I'd forget, but I've been doing that far too much lately!

Because these posts are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my life, they don't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse. Debbie

They That Are Sick

Matthew 9: 12 But when Jesus heard that, He said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. 13 But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

I'm really using this particular Bible passage, because of the literal meaning of they that are sick. Earlier in the week, the nurse the Veteran's Home had told me that Dad had said something about giving up. I shared with my husband that I wanted to spend the night in the local hotel near the Veteran's Home, so I could spend an extra day with him when we went there to see him.

 They got Dad up, so he could go with us to lunch. He didn't eat much, but never does and is eating less and less these days, although he did drink the chocolate milkshake that my husband got him. The whole episode left me not wanting to eat much. After about 45 minutes, my dad let us know that he was extremely uncomfortable and had pain from sitting that length of time. My husband wheeled Dad back to the room and the aides helped him into bed. 

 I took a used cup from his night stand and took it to the dining area to put with the meal cart. I almost stepped on the nurse and when I turned around, she mentioned that I needed to seriously consider getting Hospice services for Dad in that he said he had given up. I put the idea off for another week, secretly hoping that just that my presence would be enough to cheer him up and motivate him to have a renewed interest in living, but it didn't. Maybe, I'm the one who is sick, heartsick, because I'm greedy and want my dad to pull through one more time! Of course, I probably will always want a little more time with Dad. Again, I got the munchies that night in the hotel after eating a decent dinner. I realize that I often feel extra hungry when I'm not turning my concerns about my dad into Christ's very capable hands.

Because these posts are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my life, they don't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse. Debbie

Forgetting to Pray

Romans 8: 26 Likewise the spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 

 I know this might sound strange, but I like to say little prayers throughout the day while I'm in the bathroom. It is the time where I am totally by myself and it allows me to make brief prayers about people, situations, heath, etc. I love this time I have with Christ that isn't interrupted by life demands.

 I recently took a train trip to visit family and found that I wasn't praying periodically through the day as I normally do. I would say a quick prayer and ask God to heal my praying, only to find that I continued to forget to pray throughout the day. I would use the quiet bathroom time to think about things, but not to turn those situations over to Christ's very capable hands the way I normally do.

 Needless to say, when I started forgetting to pray throughout the day, my hunger came back with a vengeance! I felt hungry regardless of what I ate. After much prayerful contemplation, Christ is showing me the direct link between my not praying to turn my daily concerns over to Him and my desire to eat extreme amounts of food again. I not only don't want to go back to the compulsive overeating that used to plague me, but I especially don't want to go back to a haphazard relationship with my Savior. I can't picture my life without His guidance on a daily basis, so I need to be more intentional about making my prayers with Him a priority, even in the bathroom!

Because these posts are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my life, they don't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse. Debbie

Needing to Remind Myself

1 John 2:17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

In the last post, I talked about how I had been so hungry on a train trip to visit family, because I had been told that my dad needed a CT Scan. I hadn't been putting my stress and worry into Christ's very capable hands.  Now that I'm back home where I get better cell coverage, I called the veteran's home yesterday where my dad resides, because of his Parkinson's Disease. I asked about the results of the CT Scan, but she said that it was scheduled for a week from then.

 I asked her how Dad was doing and she said that he's not wanting to eat or to get up out of bed, although she encourages the staff to coax him out of bed, if at possible, because it keeps his lungs stronger. I asked her if Dad was refusing to eat desserts, his favorite food. He would just live on desserts if he had a choice. She said that she was told that he had been refusing to eat his dessert, although he would drink the shake mix like Ensure and eat the fortified ice cream, at times. She let me know that my dad had said, "That he was through!" Her impression was that he wasn't through with his meal, but through trying to fight to stay strong, that he was giving up.

 So, last night, I felt like I could have eaten the doorknobs off, again. I had a full meal for dinner and felt compelled to lick the plate off, and still felt I needed more to eat. I had two oranges, but still was hungry and ended up eating some cottage cheese and crushed pineapple in it's own juice. You'd think I'd remember the recent realization Christ gave me that my extreme hunger was related to my concerns about my dad, but did I? No! I was prayerful about why I was so hungry, and Jesus had it on my heart that my urge to eat again, was due to my stress and worry about my dad. Again, I needed to pray and turn this over to Christ's very capable hands and trust Him to get me through what lies ahead.

Because these posts are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my life, they don't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse. Debbie
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