Since I have used this Bible passage as an example of how the Lord God has positively influenced my overeating, this doesn't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the verse. Debbie

COE Support Note:

If you REALLY want to read how Christ helped me throughout this weight loss and even when I was tempted, you should read some of the 100's of previous posts on https://christianovereaterssupport.blogspot.com/

Taking God for Granted...

Deuteronomy 8: 16 Who fed thee in the wilderness with manna, which thy fathers knew not, that He might humble thee, and that He might prove thee, to do thee good at thy latter end; 17 And thou say in thine heart, My power and the might of mine hand hath gotten me this wealth. 18 But thou shalt remember the Lord thy God: for it is He that giveth thee power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He sware unto thy fathers, as it is this day. 19 And it shall be, if thou do at all forget the Lord thy God, and walk after other gods, and serve them, and worship then, I testify against you this day that ye shall surely perish.

Sitting there thinking about my weight gain after I scheduled some of my blog posts, I realized that I have been taking God for granted. I know He was the one that cured my overeating, but some of my old sloppy eating patterns and unhealthy thinking have been sneaking back lately. So, what does that say to me? It tells me that if I'm sloppy with my eating program, then I'm probably sloppy about my relationship with God, as well.

I go through the motions of a relationship with God, but do I really focus on it and what God wants for me? Obviously, not as much as I should. I think that I've been in a comfortable place for so long (30+ years) and I've taken God and His gift (my weight loss) for granted.

I have gotten too much into the "I's" and "Me's". "I" can have a little bit more of this, "I" can handle it. "I" don't splurge much. Well, it's not me that caused the weight loss. It was totally God. I did nothing in and of myself, except to pray and ask God to take over my overeating and my control because I couldn't do it...and He did!

I've shared before that food had become a false god to me, because I was turning to food to deal with my feelings, concerns, and stress instead of turning to God. Well, my gaining some of the weight back (27 pounds) is a wake-up call for me. I need to be mindful of not starting to think that a sloppy eating program is something "I "can handle or the weight loss is something "I" can take credit for, letting food becoming a false god to me again.

I need to be much more focused on my relationship with God, not because I don't want to gain the weight back (which is only an outward symptom of what I'm not doing). It is because my life has been so wonderful and I have never felt a happiness like this before, that started the day I turned my food and my control over to God. I'm not willing to go back to the way things were before when I always felt terrible about myself.

That Picture Was Really Me and All the Pain I Suffered...

Matthew 11: 28 Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.

As you will find out in my blog posts, I jump around a lot. I talk about things when I was heaviest, when I was losing the weight, when I had lost the weight, when I was maintaining the weight loss, and when I had gained some weight back. Of course, it's important that you know that it wasn't me that lost the weight, but God, when I turned my eating, control, and feelings over to Him. I am hopeful that it's beneficial reading a variety of post topics. I know it was helpful for me when I heard other overeaters share things that I thought I had only experienced. I never knew that anyone else had felt the same way.

One of the things I want to share today is about when all the weight had been off for some time. I would be in situations that somewhere in the topic, I would mention that I had been very overweight, at one time. I wasn't really bragging, although I might have been in the beginning-I'm not sure. It was mainly because it tied in with the conversation somehow.

Invariably, the person/people I was talking to couldn't believe that I had been that overweight. I started carrying a picture of me at my heaviest in my purse for situations like this. The people would look at it and laugh, saying that they couldn't believe that picture was really me and how much better I looked now.

They didn't mean anything by it, but their reactions really hurt me. It made me cry inside each time they would laugh at my picture. They were laughing at me, because that picture was me! It was the real me inside that has deep feelings that I don't share with others, that I wore on the outside as a cloak of pain, although I didn't know it at the time. It was how I dealt with all my feelings and concerns, rather than turning them over to God, at that time. Fortunately, God has since shown me, "Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest,"Matthew 11: 28

I rarely show my overweight picture to others any more. I only get it when I am trying to share how God worked this miracle in my life, so they can see what a change He made once I started turning to Him with all my feelings and concerns, the same way He can make a change in your life. 

Eating a Sandwich After the Mayo Side of the Bread Was Stuck to the Floor...

Philippians 4: 6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

You may wonder why I talk more about feelings than food or eating. Well, that's a good question. It has been my experience that my overeating has stemmed more from the things I felt than what I ate. I have tended to eat when I was exceptionally happy, sad, upset, fearful, angry, afraid of the unknown, etc. It wasn't as much that any particular food was calling me as much as I turned to food instead of dealing with my feelings, some of which I hadn't even realized I had, at the time.

I remember one time, eating fried egg sandwiches. I had already eaten two and made myself another fried egg sandwich. In carrying it over to the table, the sandwich fell on the floor with the mayo side of the bread stuck to the floor. I looked at it on the floor and picked up the bread that was sticking to the floor and reassembled my fried egg sandwich and ate it. Yuck!

 I explained in the last blog post that there was a period of time before I turned my overeating to God, that God had me watching myself and the control food had on my life. It was kind of strange and kind of a miracle at the same time. It showed me that I was turning to food to deal with my feelings and stress instead of turning to God with these.

Well, God had a nudging in my heart. Why had I eaten a third sandwich, especially one that was so gross? I wasn't sure and was prayerful about it. What was in my mind, which is often how God works in my life, is that I wasn't hungry at all. The third sandwich hadn't even appealed to me, yet I still ate it and I wasn't even that fond of fried egg sandwiches. I realized that there was another reason I had eaten it. I was stressed with something at the time and hadn't even realized that I was concerned about it.

I can't say that it was only this experience, but many experiences over months, this being a more memorable one, that led me to see how my overeating was related to something more. I had just thought I was overweight because I was weak and had no control in my life. Actually, the opposite was true.

One of my biggest vices is "control." I tried to control things so much in my life that I didn't turn issues of concern over to God. I figured that I would try to remedy them and if they didn't turn out,  I would turn them over to God. That's not what God wants though. He wants us to turn to Him in all things. As the verse above says, " Be careful for nothing," I found that I'm not supposed to try to handle things by myself, first.  The verse goes on to say, "but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

I Was Consumed With Not Feeling Good About Myself

Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly. Psalm 31:9

I found that when I was heaviest over 30+ years ago, I found that I was so consumed with not feeling good about myself and my body, that it clouded my relationships with my family. I would go to get dressed for church, but my clothes didn't fit well.  I found myself not really wanting to go to church where others would see me in ill-fitting clothes.

During the week, when I couldn't find much to wear, I found myself being cranky with my family who had nothing to do with the size of my clothes. I feel badly about it now, but at the time, that's where I was.

There was a period of time where God had me see how I was acting to others and how overeating food had been controlling my life, how I felt about myself, the things I was willing to do in public, and my interactions with my family. I didn't want to go out into the public unless it was absolutely necessary, which means that my children didn't get to go to some of the activities I might have done otherwise.

It seemed as if I was watching my food related actions/reactions, almost from a distance, as I was in the midst of doing them. All I can say is it was like God was having me see myself doing these things and see how they affected my family, affected me, and my relationship with God. I seemed more "I-me" focused because I was in the midst of pain (grief) and wasn't able to change my actions for long, although I went on many diets. I lost some weight on some, but never kept it off for long, which seemed to make me feel even more like a failure.

When I turned my eating and my vice of control over to God, my whole life changed. I no longer walked about in overtones of grief from day to day. God is the light of my life and saved me from myself and my weaknesses. So, although I will talk on the blog about many of the feelings I had while I was losing the weight or maintaining the weight loss, God has moved me beyond these feelings, although I may find myself slipping back into old patterns at times, especially when I get sloppy with my food program at times like now. That's why it's vitally important that I have an on-going active relationship with God.

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