There were times, years ago, when I lost weight and I wanted to flaunt my body. Not in any outrageous way, but I wanted to wear clothes that showed off that I was much thinner. I was under some impression that others would think more highly of me. What's more than this, I thought I would think more highly of myself when then did. Did that happen? Quite the reverse!
First of all, most of the people I knew didn't really notice the difference. The weight loss was much more significant to me that it was to others. Those who did pay attention were those I didn't want to pay attention. I went from little attention to cat calls from men in passing cars. I was a married woman and it made me feel guilty for getting this unwanted attention. I had only wanted attention for those I knew or wanted to know.
I felt so overwhelmed by this unwanted attention that I went to the other extreme! I ate and ate and ate until I gained all my weight back and then some. It did stop the cat calls and I felt relieved...for a minute or two. What I hadn't dealt with was my sagging self-esteem which seemed to be wrapped up in my clothing size. I let it tell me who I was and whether I was worthwhile or not. Once I was being more humble, turning my food, stress, and life over to God's very capable hands, I found that my self-esteem was no longer dragging on the ground. I no longer let clothing size, friendships, or attention from others determine who I was. I was God's child regardless of my size and He loves me regardless! He loved me when I was heavy and when I was thin. The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honor is humility. Proverbs 15:33
