Green Apples, Selfishness and Shame-

John 12: 4 Then saith one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, which should betray Him, 5 Why was not this ointment sold for three hundred pence, and given to the poor? 6 This he said, not that he cared for the poor; but because he was a thief, and had the bag, and bare what was put therein.

This is one of the more difficult posts for me to write. The thing is, if I'm not honest with you, then I'm not being open to doing what God wants of me. Oh, well...I hate admitting this, but here goes...

I saw my young daughter leave the kitchen laden with something green in her arms and dash out the front door. I ran after her as fast as my heavy legs would allow. I abruptly opened the door and demanded that my daughter tell what she was doing. She innocently told me that she had gotten some apples for her friends to snack on. I told her that she needed to bring them back, because those apples were for the family.

The thing is, they weren't. Those apples were my favorites and they were really for me. I had deprived my daughter of the gift of sharing with her friends. I had taken that away from her, because I was hoarding the green apples for myself! I feel so ashamed over this and wish there were some way I could rewind things and do them differently, but this is Real Life and you can't do that.

This was one of the lowest points of my overeating. There was a period prior to God allowing me to lose the 80+ pounds that He had me see my life, almost as if it were in slow motion. During that time, God showed me the control that food had on my life. He showed me how I let the food and being overweight affect the relationships with my family, my friends, and with God. I was turning to food when I was stressed instead of turning to God.

Once I finally turned the food, body, eating, and control over to God, He took all of that away from me and allowed the weight loss over 30 years ago. He has blessed my life in ways that go far beyond the actual weight loss. I don't want to ever go back to that selfish person that I was. John 12: 4 Then saith one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, which should betray Him, 5 Why was not this ointment sold for three hundred pence, and given to the poor? 6 This he said, not that he cared for the poor; but because he was a thief, and had the bag, and bare what was put therein.

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verses.

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

Bible Passages That Can Influence Your Life

Bible Study: Relating the Bible to YOUR Life!

Types of Christians

A Christian Caregiver

I Used to be Taken Advantage of, Somewhat Frequently-

Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. Luke 6:28

There was a time when I was at my heaviest, where I used to be taken advantage of, somewhat frequently. People asked me to watch their kids, do favors for them, cover for them when they had a duty they couldn't perform, etc.

Now, there's nothing really wrong with doing any of these things. It just depends on the intent of the people making the request. When people are asking you to do these favors, but would never consider offering to do them for you, it's a red light. Did they think that because I was heavy, they could take advantage of me? Did I think that if I did these things for people, they would ignore that I was heavy and would like me despite my weight? I'm not truly sure.

When I started realizing that this had become a somewhat regular pattern in my life, I was angry and resentful at all who had taken advantage of me. Then, someone shared, "In order for someone to walk all over you, you have to lay down first." It took me lots of time to ponder this prayerfully. Did I lay down like a mat and let people walk all over me? Did I encourage that type of behavior from other people in order to have a semblance of friends?

When God had me realize that it was my behavior that allowed and sometimes even encouraged this to happen, I had to turn my poor self-esteem over to God for an overhaul. After seeing my part in all of this, I was more apt to be able to forgive others, and to let God heal my struggling self-esteem. Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. Luke 6:28

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse.

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

Bible Passages That Can Influence Your Life

Bible Study: Relating the Bible to YOUR Life!

Types of Christians

A Christian Caregiver

I'm Going to Make a Plan B-

 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for Thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety. Psalms 4:9

There have been times when I'm worried about something totally out of my control. I eat myself silly as I try to figure out all the possible scenarios. If I do this, then that will happen. If I do that, then this will happen.

I'm not really sure why I go through all of this, because no matter what I do, there really isn't much I can do about it to start with. If I were truly turning to God like I should, He would show me that, or maybe He does, but I'm not listening. Maybe, I'm still trying to control the situation.

It isn't worth the extra weight and sleepless nights I spend worrying about things. Many years ago, the thought was in my mind that any time that I'm worrying, I'm not trusting God to take care of me. It's like I'm saying to God, "Sure, God, I want you to resolve these issues, but just in case You don't pull through for me, I'm going to make a Plan B."

When I truly turn these issues over to God, I don't feel compelled to eat huge portions of food that don't cure the anxiety in my stomach. Additionally, I have peaceful nights where I sleep unburdened by my concerns, because I'm trusting God to take care of things, so I no longer need to come up with a Plan B.   I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for Thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety. Psalms 4:9

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse.

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

Bible Passages That Can Influence Your Life

Bible Study: Relating the Bible to YOUR Life!

Types of Christians

A Christian Caregiver

Not Focused on Belongings-

And He said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth. Luke 12: 15

I have heard so much lately about Zen strategies for simplifying your life. I don't think Christians realize that Zen is really a part of Zen Buddhism. They might not also realize that God says to us through the Bible: And in all things that I have said unto you be circumspect: and make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth.  Exodus, Chapter 23:13. This does not lead me to believe that God would appreciate us using Zen strategies to simply our lives rather than turning to Him.

Well, keeping our lives simple, stress free, not focused on belongings, doesn't only have to do with Zen, although there are many who would try to convince you otherwise. It says in the Bible that we aren't supposed to focus on the abundance of things we own, thus simplifying our lives. Additionally, there are many Christian authors and bloggers who talk about a Christian approach to simplifying our lives.

What does that mean? We no longer have to keep up with the Joneses. We no longer have to have name brand clothing. We no longer have to have the show-off car. We no longer have to have the most trendy technology, especially when we have perfectly good computers, telephones, etc. at home. We no longer have to go to the trendy exercise gyms to show others that we are really trying to lose our weight. We no longer have to have our hair styled by the best stylists, because everyone else does.

So, what do we do with this extra time that we have now that we aren't focused around wanting and getting things? We have time to be thankful to a very generous and forgiving Heavenly Father, who loves us in spite of all our things, but knows our lives would be more stress free without them. And He said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth. Luke 12: 15.

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse.

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

Bible Passages That Can Influence Your Life

Bible Study: Relating the Bible to YOUR Life!

Types of Christians

A Christian Caregiver

How Could They Be So Insensitive?-

So when they continued asking Him, He lifted up Himself, and said unto them, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." John 8, verse 7.

In applying this Bible verse to my life, I think of the conversations I've heard from others about the unemployed.  Some seem less than sensitive to the plight of those who are unemployed. They say things like, "Anyone can get a job if only they tried hard enough or didn't set their sights so high."

With having been overweight for so many years, ducking remarks, looks, and chuckles, I become irrate with those who seem insensitive to the needs of others. I can't understand their being so judgmental, especially in an economy where there has been downsizing and people have lost their homes. How could they be so insensitive?

First of all, this Bible verse reminds me that I have to have a forgiving nature for people who say such insensitive things, for I, too, am a sinful human being and find it easy to get frustrated with people who judge others. So, I end up judging others who judge others. So when they continued asking Him, He lifted up Himself, and said unto them, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." John 8: 7.

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse.

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

Bible Passages That Can Influence Your Life

Bible Study: Relating the Bible to YOUR Life!

Types of Christians

A Christian Caregiver

My Warped Perception-

Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak. Mark 14:38.

Of course, this is what Jesus said to the disciples  who fell asleep while Jesus was praying  in Gethsemane, just before He was betrayed by Judas. When I read the Bible, I try to apply it to my own life.  

There were times I was a stay-at-home-mother and other times where I was a working mother. I was overwhelmed with being a good mother, being a good wife, being a good housekeeper, being a good cook, being a good friend, being a good employee, etc. It seemed that the only time I stopped and took any time for myself was when I ate.

After I had eaten an appropriate amount, I was still exhausted and needed more rest. Rather than own up to not being Super Woman and allow myself a longer break, I decided I was still hungry and needed more to eat. I ate until I was no longer tired. It began a pattern that I kept for many years.

In the period of time prior to the major weight loss that God allowed me, He had me see my actions, almost as if I were in slow motion. I hadn't realized I was doing this, nor did I realize how this impacted my weight and self-esteem. Somehow, in my warped perception, all that time, I felt I was justified in taking this extra time for myself, as long as I was eating.

Fortunately, God showed me what I was doing. I was able to turn this and many other poor eating habits, and my stress over to God, who took them away. I'm ashamed to say that I've reverted back to this pattern periodically, over the years, before turning it back over to God. I just have to remember: Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak. Mark 14:38.

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse.

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

Bible Passages That Can Influence Your Life

Bible Study: Relating the Bible to YOUR Life!

Types of Christians

A Christian Caregiver

Caring What People Think of Me-

The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Psalms 12:6.

I have felt torn this afternoon. I have faltered from trusting God's words and have worried more about what others would think of me, instead. In trying to process all of this prayerfully, God gave me some major breakthroughs. When I'm doing this, my actions are saying, "God, I love you, but I care more about what others think of me than what You think of me. So, I'm going to alter what I do to be more accommodating to the other people I value, than to do what You want me to do."

Now, if that's not an eye opener, I don't know what is! I wasn't aware of what my actions or my lack of actions were really saying and I feel horrible.  All my life, I've worried about what others might think. I worried about their impression of the excess weight I carried for years. I worried what they thought of how I wore my hair. I worried what they thought about how I raised my children. I worried what they thought of me as a Christian, but I wasn't worrying about what God thought of me. I was taking God for granted, because I know He loves me just the way I am.

I was trusting in people and their opinions and placing them far above those of God, although I didn't actually realize that's what I've been doing. Being fearful to move forward in the direction that God wants of me, is still not trusting Him. How can I doubt God when the Bible clearly says: The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Psalms 12:6.

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse.

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

Bible Passages That Can Influence Your Life

Bible Study: Relating the Bible to YOUR Life!

Types of Christians

A Christian Caregiver

Clean Out My Desk Now-I Was Let Go-

The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Psalm 18:2.

I went to work one day, and one of the owners came to tell me that they had to let me go. I was in shock, because a week earlier the other owner had said how pleased they were with my work. I asked when they wanted this to take affect? He said that he would like me to clean out my desk NOW, if at all possible, because they could no longer afford my services.

Now! Wow...I was so confused and bewildered. How could they be letting me go? I had millions of reasons to rationalize this, but it still doesn't alter the fact that they let me go. I could get into the Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda's, but that doesn't move me forward. There is this instinct that I have to berate myself, taking total responsibility for being let go. Maybe if I had only been better, faster, etc.

God doesn't want this in our lives and He didn't want me eating myself silly over it either. He wants us to move forward in the direction He lays out for us, trusting that He will provide for us, if we trust Him to. Will we have steak every night? No, but God will get us through this. God provided another part-time job in my field. Sure, it wasn't a full-time job, but it helped me develop a reputation with others and I was hired in a related full-time position elsewhere a year or so after that.

In hindsight, if I hadn't been let go from the first job, I wouldn't have been available for the part-time job that eventually led to a wonderful full-time position a year or so later. See, God works in marvelous ways. God had what seemed devastating at the time, lead to something promising in the future. The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Psalm 18:2.

Since this is an example of how God has positively influence my overeating, it does not necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse.

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

Bible Passages That Can Influence Your Life

Bible Study: Relating the Bible to YOUR Life!

Types of Christians

A Christian Caregiver

Going Through the Motions of Being Christian-

1 Corinthians 15: 19 If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. 20 But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept.

I have faith in Christ, but do my actions show my faith? Do I just go through the motions, counting on a forgiving God to forgive all my indiscretions? Am I like the men most miserable in this passage, just hoping God will forgive me or do I actually believe it?

Thanks to my risen Savior, I know that He forgives my sins and my indiscretions, but do I still just go through the motions of being Christian? There are times I put blinders on and visually block out the way that God wants me to go. No, God, this isn't really what You want me to do right now, is it? God, wouldn't You rather that I do this other thing that lies within my comfort level instead?

I have to be open to allowing Christ to change my life. I found that I was rambling through my prayers and God opened my heart to let Him change that. I was overeating and let it interfere with my relationship with my family, friends, my self-esteem, and my relationship with God. Christ changed that, as well. He took that compulsion to eat huge quantities of food away that could never fill my stomach or the emptiness in my soul.

If Christ can change all these things, He can certainly heal my tendency to just go through the motions...if I let Him. God can heal my self-focus and fears of trusting that He will take care of me when I attempt things out of my comfort level. Again, it depends on whether I have a willing heart to let Him heal me of these. 1 Corinthians 15: 19 If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. 20 But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept.

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verses.

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

Bible Passages That Can Influence Your Life

Bible Study: Relating the Bible to YOUR Life!

Types of Christians

A Christian Caregiver

Creation: What's It Matter?

Christian Overeaters Past and Present Support Links

Going Through the Motions of Being Christian-

1 Corinthians 15: 19 If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. 20 But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept.

I have faith in Christ, but do my actions show my faith? Do I just go through the motions, counting on a forgiving God to forgive all my indiscretions? Am I like the men most miserable in this passage, just hoping God will forgive me or do I actually believe it?

Thanks to my risen Savior, I know that He forgives my sins and my indiscretions, but do I still just go through the motions of being Christian? There are times I put blinders on and visually block out the way that God wants me to go. No, God, this isn't really what You want me to do right now, is it? God, wouldn't You rather that I do this other thing that lies within my comfort level instead?

I have to be open to allowing Christ to change my life. I found that I was rambling through my prayers and God opened my heart to let Him change that. I was overeating and let it interfere with my relationship with my family, friends, my self-esteem, and my relationship with God. Christ changed that, as well. He took that compulsion to eat huge quantities of food away that could never fill my stomach or the emptiness in my soul.

If Christ can change all these things, He can certainly heal my tendency to just go through the motions...if I let Him. God can heal my self-focus and fears of trusting that He will take care of me when I attempt things out of my comfort level. Again, it depends on whether I have a willing heart to let Him heal me of these. 1 Corinthians 15: 19 If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. 20 But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept.

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verses.

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

Bible Passages That Can Influence Your Life

Bible Study: Relating the Bible to YOUR Life!

Types of Christians

A Christian Caregiver

Creation: What's It Matter?

Christian Overeaters Past and Present Support Links

Open Mouth-Insert Foot...Being Honest With Myself-

Proverbs 3: 5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.

Sometimes, I get caught up in my own world and think that because I'm a Christian, everything I do is good. There are times, that I can see by the look on someones face, that I had inadvertently hurt their feelings, which was the furthest thing from my intentions. It's not always easy being honest with myself.

I have a choice. I can continue the conversation and not draw attention to the reaction I just saw on their face. The other option is to respond as a Christian, allowing God to provide the words and the humility necessary. When I'm prayerful, God gives me the words to apologize in a way that feels sincere to the listener. Without God's guidance, I'm not able to convey my genuine regret over being insensitive to their feelings.

I have found that when I trust God, He will guide me in ways that defy all my logic. He has healed wounds that a quick response can evoke. I am so thankful I can depend on God during times like these, because unfortunately, I say "Open Mouth-Insert Foot" things without realizing it.  Proverbs 3: 5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verses.

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

Bible Passages That Can Influence Your Life

Bible Study: Relating the Bible to YOUR Life!

Types of Christians

A Christian Caregiver