My husband I each ate a whole salad that has been marked down. Usually, we split one and eat it with our dinner. Since I didn't have specific meal plans, we decided to each eat one. In addition, I decided to have some oatmeal, because I hadn't had any that morning. That should have been enough, but was it? Nope! It wasn't 15 minutes before I was rummaging through the freezer to find my frozen pecans-my nemesis.
Was I really hungry when I started rummaging through the freezer? No! The big salad and the oatmeal pretty much filled me. I'm not certain why I felt compelled to get the pecans. I know that I have gained unwanted pounds back by becoming vulnerable to the crunch of these frozen nuts. Why wasn't I satisfied?
Well, I'm trying to be prayerful and honest about this one as I write this post. Was I worried about something I'm not acknowledging? Possibly. I do have some health concerns about people I care about, but I'm not sure that's why. Was I fearful about something? Other than the health concerns that I mentioned, I don't feel fearful. What comes to mind was that I thought I deserved the pecans right before I went to get them. If I felt I deserved the pleasure these nuts give me, then it ties right into the Bible verse of this post. If I felt I deserved something, that means I wasn't satisfied with what God's given me. I feel so sad right now. I've been blessed by God taking away all this excess weight and His keeping the vast majority of it off for over 30 years! How arrogant of me to think that I deserved the pleasure of the pecans. Sure God has provided them as a healthy food to be used in moderation, but nothing I do makes me deserving of all Christ has done for me and continues to do for me on a daily basis. Although I am undeserving of His love, Jesus gives it freely. Although I am undeserving of Christ's forgiveness, He also give that freely if we ask Him, which is what I need to do right now! The meek shall eat and be satisfied: they shall praise the LORD that seek Him: your heart shall live for ever. Psalm 22:26
Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse.
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