Oh No! The Bottomless Pit Can Come Back!

And he opened the bottomless pit; and there arose a smoke out of the pit, [like] the smoke of a great furnace; and the sun and the air were darkened [because] of the smoke of the pit. Revelation 9:2 KJV Bible

It seems that I have been taking my relationship with the Lord God for granted! He has done amazing things in my life! One of which, is the Lord took away my urge to eat immense amounts of food. I used to eat, and eat, until I nearly made myself sick. This never changed, until I told the Lord God that: I give up after all the dieting, and if He ever wanted me to be thin, He'd have to do it, because I can't!

Well, He did just that! At the time, I didn't expect the Lord to do anything, other than realize that I was giving up after 90 bazillion diets, only to gain back more weight than I had lost. But the Lord actually took that urge to eat large amounts of food away. It turns out that I had made food a false god in my life, and I was turning to food to comfort me in times of stress, etc., instead of turning to the Lord God. He showed me that when I felt hungry, especially at times when I shouldn't still feel hungry, I can turn that gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach, usually caused by stress, over to His capable hands. 

So I pray each time I eat, or want to eat when I shouldn't, for the Lord God to take care of my food, body, and eating, and He's done this for over 40 years! But yesterday... I was going to a late lunch with some family, and was hungry. So, I ate three pieces of overly ripe fruit to tide me over. But then, we went to get chicken for lunch, I ate three pieces of fried chicken, because I rarely eat it. I also ate the biscuit, and coleslaw, and felt  just fine. It frightened me, because when I got home, I realized that I could still probably eat an apple or two, on top of all of that. The Lord God showed me that the Bottomless Pit that I turned over to Him, could come back, if I let it. It shows me that I've become too complacent in my relationship with the Lord, and I was starting to turn to food again, which would only spiral me down deeper into the pit, if I let it. I need to focus on praying to the Lord God to let Him be in charge of my food, body, eating. and stress. and not me!

Waiting, but Do I Do It Patiently?

 I will wait at the fords in the wilderness until word comes from you to inform me. 2 Samuel 15:28

This post doesn't have much to do with this particular Bible passages, other than it reminded me of how well I wait! Actually, that's far from the case! I don't wait patiently, nor do I wait for the right things!

I waited and waited until I was thin, to think better of myself, when I should have been turning over my self-esteem to the Lord God's very gracious hands long before that. When the Lord let me know that I should wait and be patient while He worked within me, and the ways I ate, I tried to speed things up, which was counterproductive! For the Lord had significant reasons for me to wait to be thin. He had lessons He needed to teach me about why I ate, and when I ate, not to mention what I ate, and how much!

Fortunately for me, the Lord slowed me down, to the point that I would listen to His very invaluable lessons. The Lord showed me that I had turned to food, like a false god, to comfort me in times of stress, joy, and worry! Instead of turning to food as a false god, I was neglecting to turn all these concerns over to the Lord God's very gracious hands! Once I started praying and turning my food, my eating, and my stress over into the Lord's hands, the weight started coming off. Sometimes, the lessons you get while you are waiting, are much more important than what you are waiting for!!!

Have I Become a Weak, Two-Faced Christian?

 And [Jesus] answered and said to them, As it is written,[Isaiah,] the prophet [has] said well [about] you hypocrites, [a.k.a. someone who says one thing and does another,] This people [honor] Me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. [However,] they do worship Me in vain, teaching the commandments of men, for doctrines. Mark 7:6-7 KJV Bible [paraphrased.]

Sure, I say that the Lord God allowed me an 80+ pound weight loss, and that He has allowed the vast majority of it to stay off for over 40 years, but that doesn't make me a loyal Christian. All this happened through the Lord God's mercy, and not by me. In fact, all those many years ago, I used to pray, asking the Lord God to help me lose the weight, but it never happened, or some came off, temporarily, but I quickly regained it. It wasn't until I gave up and said to the Lord, "If You ever want me to be thin, You'll have to do it, because I can't, and I give up!" And you know what? He did it, starting that very same afternoon. None of this speaks to me being a loyal Christian, but it speaks to the Lord God, Who is all merciful!

Although I profess to be a Christian, do my words say one thing, and my actions say another? If I'm being honest, I'd have to admit to being a weak, two-faced Christian! It pains me to say so, since I love the Lord dearly, not because He allowed this great weight loss, but because He first love me, even when I'm a sinner. "*But God [commends, a.k.a. demonstrates,] His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 KJV Bible

But do my actions demonstrate my love for the Lord? I am far too quick to avoid situations where I share my faith in Him, when I'm face-to-face, with another person. I say I am a Christian, but I get impatient with those I care about, and I don't show the same amount of compassion for them, as the Lord shows for me. I'm so sorry, but do I change my actions and my attitudes to be more aligned with what the Lord God wants? Unfortunately, not as much as I should. This post brings to mind, the many things that I have to be prayerful about!

What Is Best?

 Why, you don't even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while, and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. James 4:14-16 

Deep down, I know that when I pray, I should ask the Lord's will in whatever the matter is, but do I? Unfortunately, although this is a vitally important thing, I rarely do it. I get caught up in asking the Lord God to do this or that, whatever way I'm asking. And to top that I off, I also pray, please don't let it be this other way, that I disapprove of, as if, I'm the Almighty God, Who knows what is best!

How could I be so arrogant. The Lord God has generously shown me His hand in my life more times than I can mention. One of which is that He took away my desire to eat large amounts of food, and sugar until I'm sick to my stomach. Did I do this myself? No way! It didn't happen until one day when I had been on a bazillion diets, but only had regained what little weight I had lost. 

I sat down that morning and told the Lord God, that I was giving up. I had tried losing weight and I couldn't do it, and if He wanted me to be thin, He's have to do it, because I couldn't! Well, that very same day is when He took those compulsive overeating urges away from me. I wasn't even exactly asking for them. I was just putting the Lord God on notice that I was giving up on dieting. But He, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, realized that I had given up my control over to Him, although I didn't quite know if yet. If the Lord God knew what was best in this situation, and so many other situations in my life, why wouldn't I ask Him for His will to be done and not mine? There's a lot of me to prayerfully contemplate in all of this. First of all, I need to apologize to the Lord God for being so arrogant, to think I know what's best!

I've Gotten Too Caught Up in Worldly Possessions and Didn't Even Realize It!

 He will no longer be rich and his wealth will not endure, nor will his possession spread over the land. Job 15:29 NIV Bible

I have been reluctant to get a newer type of phone. I have clung to my flip phones, thinking that they have kept me humble. I didn't need any of the modern phones like those who have them, or covet them!

Well, I wasn't aware of what a really eye-opening experience unfolded for me recently, related to phones and my humility. I really loved my old flip phone that had voice texting capabilities. It broke, and I tried to buy another. The thing is, that company doesn't make the flip phones with voice texting anymore. I even went to another store, but although it had the capabilities for voice texting, I didn't have the basic requirements for that feature to work.

I had a younger relative, hoping to move me into the 21st Century. Although he calmly supported me, in ways far beyond his years, he gently encourage me to get a more modern phone. I kept telling him, "No, I have to go through what I have to go through, and grieve the loss of the ability to get a flip phone with this feature, because I will be willing to contemplate getting a more modern phone!" Although it probably sounds silly, that's really what I said, and that's really what I felt. I felt I was clinging to a phone that kept me humble, but in reality, if you read the underlined portion above, I loved my old flip phone. So of late, the Lord has had it on my heart, that if I love a flip phone, even if I think it's keeping me humble, it really isn't, because I'm loving a worldly possession. And my loves should be reserved for the Lord God, and for my family, and those less fortunate in the world.

Am I Being Humble?

 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:10 NIV Bible

Well, that is a very significant question! I think that deep down, I think I'm being humble, but is that actually so? Every time I pray to the Lord and ask Him to do this specific thing for me, for someone else, or for the world, I'm really not being humble. Somehow, I get it into my head that I think I know what is best for me, for someone else, and for the world! That's pretty arrogant, if you ask me!

I forget to ask the Lord God to take care of the situation, but not ask Him to do it the way that I've already pre-determined is the best way. I need to remember that when the Lord God doesn't do it the way that I think is best, isn't best. I'm talking about the Lord God, Who is all-powerful, all-knowing, and is forgiving. So forgiving, that He had His Son, Jesus Christ, give His life on the cross to save us from our sins, if we ask Him.

So, where do I get off thinking that I know what is best in any of these situations? Even though this has been on my heart lately, I find myself slipping back into that same routine. Unfortunately, that routine feels too comfortable, that I don't even realizing that's what I'm doing. I'm so very sorry that I have taken advantage of my Lord and Savior this way! I pray that the Lord God humbles my soul, so that I get off my high horse, and let Him be in charge, for only He knows what way is best!