I've Become a Stiff-Necked Arrogant Christian

 "But they, our ancestors, became arrogant, and stiff-necked, and they didn't obey Your commands." Nehemiah 9:16 NIV Bible

The Lord God has done so many miracles in my life, like His allowing an 80+ pound weight loss, and for the vast majority of it to stay off for over 40 years. Do I take this to heart, well, maybe not as often as I should.

I take the miracle that He did in my life for granted, and let it slide to the back shelf, and instead, I focus on other things that catch my attention at the time. Well, the Lord God, should never be put on the back shelf. I don't know how I could take Him for granted like I have. By doing this, it's like I'm trying to take all the credit for what He has done for me, thinking that whatever's on my mind at the time, is much more important than what He might want me to do!

I'm ashamed by my arrogance, and stubbornness! But just talking about it with you, isn't significant enough. I owe the Lord God a sincere and heart-felt apology. And an apology is just a bunch of words, if I don't really let the Lord God change my heart, to be more attentive to His needs!

It Seems that I Just Want the Lord God to Be a Yes Man

I call on You, my God, for You will answer me. Turn Your ear to me, and hear my prayer. Psalm 17:6 NIV Bible

 It was on my heart the other day, when I was praying for the Lord God to take care of someone that I have concerns for, I realized I was just wanting the Lord to be a Yes Man. I prayed to Jesus, asking Him to do these wonderful things for this person, but not these things that I thought weren't so wonderful. I didn't really focus on the implications of my prayer, and how I was asking to the Lord God to do exactly as I had requested.

My arrogance in thinking that I know what is best for me, and for others, is exactly what stood in the way of my loosing my excess weight all those years. I would pray, "Dear Lord, help me lose the weight. Help me..." When I prayed this way, I was without realizing it, fighting the Lord God for Supremacy in my life, and the lives of others.

It wasn't until I gave up control over my food, stress, eating, and everything else, and told Christ, that if He wanted me to be thin, He'd have to do it, because I couldn't, that the weight started coming off. It didn't happen six days earlier or three weeks later, but it started that same afternoon! The thing is, I'm appalled at how easily I fall back into those old patterns when I'm praying. The Lord God always sees the Big Picture and knows what is best, which isn't always what I'm praying for.

Dragging My Feet, and Reluctance to Do What the Lord God Wants!

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7 NIV Bible

This passages brings up so many different things, that I may need to address. I was just explaining to younger relatives, about how giving to others for the Lord, shouldn't be just what we don't want or need, of: money, items, food, etc. I had to admit to them, that I have been a reluctant giver, and although I hated to admit that to these young relatives, I didn't want them to grow up being selfish like I was.

Years ago, I went as a chaperone on a mission trip to Juarez, Mexico while the youth group helped build cinder block houses for the people, who live there. Many had been living in houses made from old pallets and cardboard, with lights strung from house to house, like Christmas lights. The only water they had for their families bathing, cooking, and cleaning was stored in a big round garbage type of barrel outside their home, and that was only delivered to them twice a week. One of the older youth members came to me and said that they had decided to go through their suitcases and find all that they could leave for the people in the community, because they had so little. I thought it was a good idea, and I went through my suitcase, trying to determine what I could leave there. I made a pile of things that I didn't mind parting with, and I had a pile of things that I really like, and I didn't want to part with them. Then, that night, as I lay in my bunk, being prayerful about the day, the Lord God had this on my heart. Just like the poor widow who contributed her 2 mites, which was all the money she had, in contrast to the rich men contributing, what looked like a lot of money, but was from their excess money, I was doing the same. I was only willing to give what I didn't want as much, but not willing to give what I really valued. That next morning, I felt led to put it all in the bag to leave there. How could I have be so self-absorbed when so many, had so very little?

Then, I also remember how the Lord God had it on my heart to start a new blog, and I asked Him if He was sure that He wanted me to do it? I figured there were other people with more time on their hands that would do a much better job than I would, by posing on an additional blog. But the Lord didn't turn a blind eye when I told Him that I give up, and if He ever wanted me to be thin, He'd have to do it, because I couldn't! He healed me, even knowing how reluctant I would be to donate my clothes and items. He healed me, even knowing that I would ask Him if He didn't think someone else would do a better job. I'm ashamed that I have drug my feet, on doing what the Lord God wants from me, and I need to be more prayerful about doing His will and not mine!

The Lord God Cares for Me Like the Apple of His Eye, Do I Do the Same?

 Keep My commands and you will live; guard My teachings [like] the apple of your eye. Proverbs 7:2 NIV Bible

This morning, I was thinking about how the Lord God cares for me like the apple of His eye. When I was overwhelmed by unsuccessfully trying soooo many different diets over most of my life, I prayed to the Lord and said, "Lord God, I give up! I can't do it! If You ever want me to be thin, You'll have to do it, because I can't!" It was amazing, the Lord God took the urges to eat large amounts of food, and oodles of sweets away from me that very afternoon. It always surprised me, because I was praying, because I expected the Lord to do something for me, I was just praying because I was giving Him notice that I was giving up on diets, because I couldn't do it.

But the Lord God healed me from my many compulsions, like I'm the apple of His eye. But do I treat the Lord, in return, like He's the Apple of my eye? Do I do the things He wants me to do? If the truth be told, I have failed Him miserably! I haven't shared my faith in Jesus Christ, on several levels. I'm reluctant to share my faith in the One, Who gave His life on the cross for me, with others, for fear of one thing or another. I have gotten so involved in other projects, that my posts on this blog have gotten spotty, at best. But shouldn't I be keeping His commands, and His teaching like the apple of my eye?

Shouldn't I be praying for the willingness to share my faith with others I meet, despite all my fears of inadequacy, or fears of offending others? Shouldn't I make sure that I ink out enough time, to make sure there are more consistent posts, telling people about the amazing things the Lord God has done for me? Instead, I hide behind one reason or another, and put my love for the Lord on a dusty old bookshelf, instead of sharing my faith in Him like the apple of my eye. I need His forgiveness, for I tend to be too self-absorbed, and don't do His will. Fortunately, when I pray for His forgiveness, He always welcomes me with open arms, and He will do the same for you, if you let Him!