"What strength do I have, that I should still hope? What prospects, that I should be patient?"
Although this has nothing to do with being overweight, it still applies to my life. A big portions of my life, I had been overweight. I was the pudgy girl on the playground, last selected for any team. I was the person, that other kids would turn toward and giggle with each other. My ideas were often not listened to in the workplace and elsewhere, only for others to pay attention to the thin person, who repeated the exact same thing I said, and took credit for the idea!
My self-esteem was as low as it goes, but I always figured if I were thin, everything would be different. I hoped for years that the Lord God would let me loose all the extra weight. I went on so many diets, that it made my head spin. And some of the diets, I went on more than once. I even got to the point that I let a physician put staples in my ears to wiggle, so that it would calm my urge to overeat. All I got from that weight loss fad, was the realization that I was allergic to metals other than gold, silver and possibly stainless steel.
At a point many years down the road, the Lord God showed me that food, eating, loosing my weight had become a false god to me. In matters of stress, or joy, I turned to food to comfort me, instead of turning to Jesus Christ for the comfort I needed. He showed me that once I would put these in His very capable hands, in times of stress and joy, He would provide the comfort I longed for, and I no longer felt compelled to eat all those sweets, starches, and huge amounts of food. That doesn't mean that I never start slipping back into old patterns. But my hope now is that the Lord God will keep bringing me back to Him, as many times as it takes, and He assists in refocusing me!
