Since I have used this Bible passage as an example of how the Lord God has positively influenced my overeating, this doesn't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the verse. Debbie

COE Support Note:

If you REALLY want to read how Christ helped me throughout this weight loss and even when I was tempted, you should read some of the 100's of previous posts on https://christianovereaterssupport.blogspot.com/

What a Deal ...Until Your Pants Don't Fit

Romans 7: 24 O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? 25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

Somehow, fiances have always seemed to be tangled up in my overeating. It started when I was really young. I remember going to The Creamery when I was in third grade. They sold an ice cream cone for ten cents and an ice milk cone for five cents.

Most people would have been pleased with the savings and would have bought one ice milk cone for five cents. Not me. I have always had a "Get the most for your money" philosophy. It would not have been uncommon to see me as a third grader wandering around town eating two ice milk cones, because I was getting more food for the same price. What a deal...until your pants don't fit.

I think it's the same philosophy that leads to me to order a dinner with two pork chops verses one piece of grilled chicken breast. I still feel like I'm getting this wonderful bargain. The pork chops wouldn't be half bad if I had taken one of the pork chops home for another time, but not me. I want to "Get the most for my money!"

I still am the same person, who tends to let my finances get tangled up in my overeating, but one thing has changed. I realize that even though I have these earthly vices, I have a heavenly Father who loves me the way I am and wants me to be the best I can be in order to do His will. He shows me that He will heal my soul that craves excessive amounts of food. He shows me that these aren't what is necessary for me to feel whole, to feel capable, to feel loved. He will be with me if I slip, picking me back up again and helping me to refocus on Jesus and His saving grace.

Being a Garbage Can So Things Don't Waste...

1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

I hate to waste things and find that I am frugal to a fault. I mentioned in one of the healthy tips that it's better to give away left over treats rather than ending up eating them so they don't waste-something I did for many years prior to turning my eating over to God. He's made it easier for me to do this.

Since I've gained some of my weight back, I'm finding that some of my old overeating weaknesses have surfaced and I have to realize them before I can turn them back over to God. I was supposed to prepare some pie bars to take to a function. The frugal person that I am, figured that if I added extra pumpkin and eggs, I could stretch the filling and make lots more pie bars for less.

Well, sometimes I'm better with adapting recipes, but this definitely wasn't the time. The pie bars were really thin, mainly because I had poured them into several different baking dishes trying to make more from the mixture. They tasted kind of foamy/rubbery, but really had little to no taste, except that they reminded me of a custard pie of sorts, because of all the eggs.

I kept cutting the pie bars in order to try to salvage some of them to take to the function. All along, I was tasting some of the pie bars to see if they were palatable to serve to others. At a point, I decided they really weren't worthy of serving, but continued to taste the pie bars, as if I were sampling them.

At a certain point, God brought me back to reality. I was having a difficult time throwing them away. Not as much because I don't like to waste, but more because I don't like to waste money. Instead, I was eating them while I was slicing them, somehow thinking in the back of my mind that they weren't really wasting if I ate them.

The thought that was in my mind, which is often how God works in my life, was that if I counted all the pie bar slices I had sampled, I had probably eaten the equivalent of five whole pieces of good tasting pumpkin pie. Additionally, He let me know that I don't have to be a garbage can so things don't waste, including money. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 1 Timothy 6: 10

Beat Down by Feelings of Failure...

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of My righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

I read this Bible verse today and really liked the message it had for me and, hopefully, for you, as well. I tried so many diets over the years, that I just didn't think I could stick to any diet or food plan. I felt beat down by failure. Sure, I had lost weight on some of the diets, but I usually gained it back and even more.

I carried that feeling of failure around with me and it had to have affected all my relationships with my family, my friends, and others. That's not who God wants me to be. He wants me (and you) to be a good example of how He works in our lives. If this is a constant feeling, I'm not letting God's light shine in me. So what does this tell me? If God doesn't want me to be acting like a failure which affects my relationships with others, He has shown me this, because He wants me to change. If He wants me to change, He knows I can't make these changes in and of myself, but He can!

When I turn these negative feelings over to God to heal and ask Him for the willingness to turn these over to Him, He always takes care of everything. It's amazing that every time I've turned things of this nature over to God, my whole life seems lighter, brighter, and much more happy. Does this take care of these issues for ever? Well, Satan likes to use things like negative self-esteem as a subtle wedge in our relationship with God. So, I need to continue to ask God to heal these negative feelings when they creep up. Debbie

I Feel Like I Am Sinking in Quicksand...

Luke 6: 48 He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock.

 There are times of stress in my life and where I turn, determines the foundation of my house.  I have lots of options, some are healthier than others, but only one will secure the foundation of my house!

When I'm stressed, one of my common ways of dealing with it is to stay so busy I am unaware that I'm even stressed. It's often in times like this, I feel compelled to eat everything in sight, as if I have this gnawing, empty feeling down in the pit of my stomach. This method hasn't been productive for me, although I've used it quite a bit over the years.

Sometimes when I'm stressed, I will talk to friends to help me determine the best route to go. The problem is, friends have different points of view, all of which I seem to identify with. It has ended up when I ask the advice of friends, I just end up confused and even more stressed.

Sometimes, when there's a conflict with a person, I've talked to them about it. This is generally productive, although most times, they have no idea what I'm talking about. Usually, I've thought I've offended someone who is oblivious to this and I've made it more awkward by asking them about it, but it does resolve my stress.

What I find that works best is to lie down on my bed and have some quiet time with God away from TV, the household chores, and any other distractors. It gives me a chance to be open to God's direction, because He always sees the Big Picture. He always knows the best way to resolve issues that I might have eaten over, otherwise. When I am truly prayerful and listen to the still small voice of God and the instincts He gives me on the matter, I have a peace that is indescribable. My life goes so much better when I turn to God rather than turning to food, TV, being overly busy, and turning to friends, for God provides a firm foundation for me when I feel like I'm sinking in quicksand.
He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. Luke 6:48

The Lifestyles of the Thin and Oblivious of Others...

1 John 4: 7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
It seems it was easier once the weight was lost, to get caught up in the lifestyles of the thin and oblivious of others. It's easier to be in a group of people who know me only at the size I am and to sit there silently as they laugh at others who are heavy. It's easier to sit there as they put others down, saying they just don't have any self-control. It's easier to look the other way, instead of drawing attention to myself, in fear of being ostracized from the thin group.

The thing is, to sit there silently feels like I am helping them laugh at me, the heavy me, that I once was, that carried my pain as a layer of fat on the outside. I don't think God wants me to do the easier thing and just blend in.

God healed my pain and had me come to terms with all my insecurities. If I sat there and did nothing, I was turning my back on all He had done for me. This realization showed me that I needed to try to be more of an example of what God wanted me to be. I can say that I don't like comments belittling others, the overweight or those with other perceived shortcomings. I can pray for those who are overweight to feel God's healing touch and have them develop a life long positive relationship with Him. I can make sure I have a welcoming smile when I cross the path of those who are overweight. No one wants to feel that others are glaring at them, because of their size. I know I didn't. It can be devastating, and we CAN make a change for others. We CAN be the person who goes and talks with the overweight person who enters the gathering that we are attending. We CAN make a change if we are open to the instincts that God gives us.

Were Nutrition Classes, Books, Diets, and Articles Helpful?

Hebrews 9: 14 How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?

For the sake of this blog post, I can take dead works in this verse a couple of ways. I can take it more literally, in that my overeating to excess is something that can actually kill me. You would think that an educated person, such as myself, wouldn't have such an issue with overeating or being tempted to overeat. Haven't I taken a college level nutrition class, read every diet book at some time or other, and read enough weight loss articles to make anyone aware of the harms of being overweight?

On the other hand, dead works are those that don't lead to eternal life. Do I continue to let myself be consumed with eating, thinking about eating, or making plans of how I won't be tempted to eat something? Every time I get caught up in this focus on food, I'm forgetting to focus on God. I am allowing food to work this very subtle wedge in my relationship with God, my family, and myself, but it doesn't have to be that way.

Sure, we can make all kinds of plans of how we are are going to do better, but I found that the plans didn't work for me. The diets didn't work for me and I tried lots of them. The articles and books didn't work for me. The only thing that has worked for me is giving up making plans and instead, asking for God to take care of all of it, because I couldn't. I had to let go of my control. Once I started putting everything, my food, worries, and other things that led me to eat, into God's very capable hands, a big burden was lifted from my shoulders and I was freed up to start focusing on doing more things that God wanted me to do on His behalf.  How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God? Hebrews 9: 14

Taking an Active Stand, Although Uncomfortable...

2 Corinthians 1: 3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

It would be easy for me to join the ranks of the thin and insensitive after losing all the weight. (Actually, thin people are not necessarily insensitive, but often many don't understand the plight of the overweight.) I could just ignore others who are dealing with the pain of being overweight and all the insecurities and issues that lead to this. I could try to remove myself from any contact with others who are dealing with these issues, but that's not what God wants from me. He wants me to be an example of how He works in my life, in my body, in my relationship with Him and others.

He wants me to comfort others, to show He has not turned His back on them and their pain. Sometimes, this pain is a means to draw us to the point of turning our lives and that pain over to God, even for us who have been long time Christians.

I don't always know how to do this. I try to stay clear of negative conversations about people who are overweight. I try to say a prayer for overweight people when I see them, asking God to have them feel His healing touch and come to have a life-long positive relationship with Him. Now, I feel He's wanting me to take a more active stand. It's a little uncomfortable and glorious at the same time.

It's difficult sharing such personal details of my life, my insecurities, lack of self-confidence, etc., especially knowing that there may be people reading these blog posts who know me. It is glorious in the thought that God would allow me to see His hand in comforting others. That He would help others through my pain, insecurities, and struggle to turn my food, eating, control, and life over to God, who can comfort us all. My prayer is that I don't allow Satan to work the subtle wedge of pride, because none of this comes from me, it is all a gift from God, "Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." 

The Body of a Barbie Doll...

1 Timothy 6: 17 Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;

Yes, I bought into society's view that all you have to do to be popular was to have the body of a Barbie doll and to have lots of money. Since, I had neither, where did that leave me?

I felt like like I had to strive even harder to attain both of these. The funny thing is, before I turned all my food, eating, and control over to God, the harder I tried to be thin the heavier I became. As you notice, the sentence had the word I in it. I thought God would just watch and help as I tried diet after diet to have the ideal body, but that's not exactly what this blog post is about.

In similar manner, I tried to gain financial stability, which is a very elusive goal. It seems that the more I planned and schemed ways to earn more, the more the money seemed to slip through my fingers. I had trusted in riches and an ideal body and thought that these would positively change my life. I had been mistakenly focused on superficial ideals rather than focusing on God.

It wasn't until later, I realized, that all that I have is given me through God's grace. Sometimes, I have more and sometimes, I have less, but He always takes care of me. 1 Timothy 6: 17 Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy.

Ashamed of My Body After Losing the Weight...

2 Corinthians 4:7 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

I spent so much of my life being overweight, even as a child. I just didn't know how to handle it after losing all my weight. I was so torn. There was a part of me that was proud of the weight loss, but there was this part of me that felt ashamed of my body. It seems like a strange thing to feel after having such a blessing from God, but I've read of others who have felt the same thing.

I had a body riddled with stretch marks, hanging flab, and droopy breasts which altered my image of what I would look like after losing the weight. I don't think I ever wanted to be a model or anything of that nature, but I wanted to look nice in my clothes. I didn't want to feel that people were looking at me because of how overweight I was. I didn't want to worry about which dress would fit for me to wear to church. I didn't want to not be able to do things with my kids, because I was embarrassed about being with other thinner people.

It was a big thing to learn to turn my less than perfect body perceptions over to God. My weight loss was a miracle from God and I was saying, "Hey, God, I asked you to be thin, but that meant that you should take care of my body and droopy body parts, as well." What an ungrateful Christian I have been. 

God has given us, "the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ." He allows me to turn my body perceptions over to Him, my fears and anxieties, and my appreciation for all He has done for me. God has allowed me to come to terms with my body, to not be repulsed by its imperfections, to love the person that God wants me to be, instead of always finding flaws and short-comings in myself. Debbie

Beating Yourself Up for Eating Far Too Much...

Romans 5: 8 But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Well, by the time you read this, Thanksgiving will be over. Are you beating yourself up for eating far too much of things that delighted you at the time? I know that I have done that all too many years to count. When I started turning my control, my eating, and my food over to God on a daily basis, I didn't have to beat myself up anymore for not living up to my expectations of what I should have done.

I always go into holidays thinking that I will stay close to the protein and veggies, only to be seduced by enticing treats and special comfort foods. God knows we are weak and are going to be tempted. He knows that our health, weight, and self-esteem are a work in progress, but He never turns His back on us the way we turn our back on ourselves, beating ourselves up because we didn't show more restraint, weren't perfect, didn't live up to our expectations and the list goes on.

I am comforted by this verse, when I look in the mirror and see a work in progress, Romans 5: But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Trying to Con Myself about Buffets, Potlucks, and Holiday Dinners...

Romans 6: 12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. 13 Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.

With a title like Trying to Con Myself about Buffets, Potlucks, and Holiday Dinners, it probably brings a lot to mind if you've ever been an overeater. Even though, God has blessed me by losing my weight and keeping the majority of it off, Satan still tries to work a subtle wedge in my relationship with God through my food. Even though I have a food program that works for me, I am still consumed by those old compulsions when I go to buffets, potlucks, and holiday dinners.

I still find myself rationalizing my actions, thinking that the dishes there are ones I rarely will get a chance to eat for a long time, are my favorites, look enticing, etc. Who am I trying to fool. God knows the truth, although I do a pretty good job of trying to con myself. I rarely leave these without being stuffed, and in hindsight realize that I "woulda, shoulda, coulda," something else. 

The thing is, I feel that God has used my weight loss as a means for sharing my faith with others. When I'm overeating and exhibiting compulsive behavior, I'm not being a good example of how God works in my life.  When my relationship with God isn't sloppy, I am less likely to let my food program be sloppy, and am less likely to be compulsive in these situations.

This is a big eye opener for me. Since I've been writing this blog, I've been trying not to be so sloppy, but went to a buffet recently. I found that my portion control was not aligned with what God has shown me. I ate all my "breads" for the day and then some, even though I didn't eat any sweets. It reminds me that my compulsive behavior sneaks back, in situations like this. I need to either limit how often I go to these places or really make sure I'm focused on letting God guide my food decisions which affect my relationship with God, my family, and myself. Debbie  Romans 6: 12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. 13 Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.

Don't Let People Tell You Who You Are...

1 John 4: 19 We love Him [Jesus], because He first loved us.
Well, with this said, that means that we, with all our failings, insecurities, and many vices, such as overeating, are lovable, just the way we are. I didn't always feel that way, though. There were times in previous relationships, where the other person made me feel worthless, undesirable, and fat, whether I was actually fat or not.

For a long time, when I was told these negative things, I thought they were true. I thought I was this worthless, undesirable, and fat person, whether I was heavier or thinner.  I kept this negative mental picture of myself in my mind and in my heart and it affected all my interactions with others and, probably, my relationship with God. I ate over the pain and felt fortunate to have someone who would put up with me and all my many failings. It took a very long time for me to heal from these interactions, but God heals all wounds when we turn them over to Him, for God loves me. He gave His very life for me, so I must not be such a miserable person after all. I must be a lovable person, deserving of respect and no less.

With God's healing touch, He led me to realize not to let people tell me who I am. I am worthy of love, positive relationships with others, and to be treated with respect, and that's what God wants for me. We love Him [Jesus], because He first loved us... (just the way we are.)

Passing Holiday Treats Around but Skipping Me...

Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

I remember how upset I used to get at my former in-law's home at holidays. My former mother-in-law used to pass trays of elaborate treats around to everyone in the room. She would walk up to each person asking if they would like any of the treats on the tray. When she would get to me, she would say, "Oh, you don't need any," and would walk right past me going on to the next person.

I have to tell you that I didn't appreciate being passed over. Sometimes, I would do something very counterproductive. When she would put the tray down, I would go get and eat some of the treats that I wasn't offered and then some, like I was proving something to her. Of course, I wasn't and made my situation much worse. Then, I not only had to deal with my feelings of being overlooked, but had to deal with the extra weight I gained proving my point, however weak it was.

Even as I write this, I have to remind myself of this verse and pray asking for the willingness to forgive her. Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Her actions hurt me, but God doesn't want me holding on to bitter feelings to others. Jesus gave His life to save me from all my sins, it's the least that I can do to forgive others. Of course, it's much easier said than done, but it lays the foundation not only for my relationship with God, but my being whole and not feeling led to eat over my hurt feelings. Debbie Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Praying for Those Who See You as the Enemy...

Luke 6: 27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, 28 Bless them that curse you and pray for them which despitefully use you.

You may want to know why I'm writing about enemies in an overeating blog. Well, I found that I tend to eat about feelings and things that stress me more than the specific foods I ate. Well, people that are enemies or those who treat me like I'm the enemy are big stressors for me. It's my nature to try to please everyone, so I have tended to take it personally when someone acts like they don't like me.

There is a lady who works at the gym my grand kids go to, who scowls at me every time I go there. I realize that she doesn't really know me, but it feels kind of personal like she doesn't like me. This has been going on for over six months now. Last week when I went there, I was in prayerful contemplation about this. The thought in my mind, which is often how God works in my life, was that she doesn't even know me to dislike me, so I shouldn't take it personally. The next thought was that her reaction has more to do with how she feels about her life than anything else. Having been there myself, I could understand what that is like.

I remembered this verse and decided to pray for her. I asked God to bless her and to have her feel the healing touch of Jesus in her life. I also asked that she develop a life-long positive relationship with God. When I saw her about a half hour after this prayer, she was laughing and joking around with some co-workers. I had never seen this before and it felt like an immediate answer from God, although things don't always happen that quickly.

When I saw her this week, she was having a positive conversation with another co-worker and had been doing some exercises and seemed to be very pleased. I am so happy about this. I hate for anyone to feel so poorly about themselves or their lives that they can't even smile and all their conversations seems to be negative. What a wonderful miraculous change God brought about in this lady's life. It reminds me to be more prayerful for others who seem to be unhappy or in pain. Luke 6: 27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, 28 Bless them that curse you and pray for them which despitefully use you.

Does My Losing the Weight Mean My Faith Is Stronger Than Yours???

Galatians 2:16 Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.

Is My Faith Stronger Than Yours?? No way!!! It may sound like I'm a better Christian because God had me lose the 80 pounds and not you, but that's not the case! It's not because my faith is stronger. It's not because I'm a better Christian. It's not because I do more for the needy. It's not because I have traits similar to Mother Theresa. It's not because I do a better job at anything. It came when I asked God to take care of my overeating and my control issues.

It may be difficult to understand, since many of you are very good Christians, much more pious than I may ever be. I was a Christian for over 25 years when this happened, but I never kept any weight off for long on any of the diets I had gone on, prior to this. It took me a long time to figure out why it happened then and not before. I had prayed for God to take care of my weight a million times before. So why now?

All I can figure is that I was so low at this point, that I totally gave up. What I actually said in that prayer is, "God, I can't lose the weight and I give up! If you want me to lose the weight then You'll have to do it because I can't." It was that very day that God had me stop craving sweets, eating between meals, start feeling comfortable with a normal portion of food, and start loosing the weight.  I guess that's the first time I totally turned my control and my eating concerns truly over to God.

To be honest, I really didn't think I was going to loose weight from praying this. I was really just giving up, but I think that is the key. I think prior to that, I prayed, God, help "me" lose the weight, help "me" stop overeating, etc. I wasn't totally turning it over to God before. That's why it is vitally important for me to turn my food, my eating, and my control over to God each and every day. When I get sloppy with this for long, as you already know, my weight and my self-esteem start to suffer from this. Galatians 2:16 Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.

Taking God for Granted...

Deuteronomy 8: 16 Who fed thee in the wilderness with manna, which thy fathers knew not, that He might humble thee, and that He might prove thee, to do thee good at thy latter end; 17 And thou say in thine heart, My power and the might of mine hand hath gotten me this wealth. 18 But thou shalt remember the Lord thy God: for it is He that giveth thee power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He sware unto thy fathers, as it is this day. 19 And it shall be, if thou do at all forget the Lord thy God, and walk after other gods, and serve them, and worship then, I testify against you this day that ye shall surely perish.

Sitting there thinking about my weight gain after I scheduled some of my blog posts, I realized that I have been taking God for granted. I know He was the one that cured my overeating, but some of my old sloppy eating patterns and unhealthy thinking have been sneaking back lately. So, what does that say to me? It tells me that if I'm sloppy with my eating program, then I'm probably sloppy about my relationship with God, as well.

I go through the motions of a relationship with God, but do I really focus on it and what God wants for me? Obviously, not as much as I should. I think that I've been in a comfortable place for so long (30+ years) and I've taken God and His gift (my weight loss) for granted.

I have gotten too much into the "I's" and "Me's". "I" can have a little bit more of this, "I" can handle it. "I" don't splurge much. Well, it's not me that caused the weight loss. It was totally God. I did nothing in and of myself, except to pray and ask God to take over my overeating and my control because I couldn't do it...and He did!

I've shared before that food had become a false god to me, because I was turning to food to deal with my feelings, concerns, and stress instead of turning to God. Well, my gaining some of the weight back (27 pounds) is a wake-up call for me. I need to be mindful of not starting to think that a sloppy eating program is something "I "can handle or the weight loss is something "I" can take credit for, letting food becoming a false god to me again.

I need to be much more focused on my relationship with God, not because I don't want to gain the weight back (which is only an outward symptom of what I'm not doing). It is because my life has been so wonderful and I have never felt a happiness like this before, that started the day I turned my food and my control over to God. I'm not willing to go back to the way things were before when I always felt terrible about myself.

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