I really picked this passage, because you would think that being so close to my goal weight would give me peace. I think there's this part of me that is afraid, that it's a limited thing, like in this passage. It lasted forty years, but then something happened to change all of it. Maybe that's whats causing me to be so apprehensive about getting to my goal weight and then being about 20 pounds over that weight for so many years!
Am I afraid that something bad is going to happen, or I'm going to get caught up in the lifestyle of the thin. I really think I'm beyond that, but I knew that was a concern when i first lost all my weight over 30 years ago. Maybe being 1 /14 pounds from my goal weight causes me to go back to those old concerns I had back then. I'm not certain.
I just know the Lord God has led me back to being almost to my goal weight and He will guide me with whatever He wants me to know. I'm just prayerfully pondering all of this while I'm typing this blog post. I think I should want to be at my goal weight, because it will give me peace, to be at that weight again, but do I really want it? I will continue to prayerfully ponder this dilemma.
