Worrying about the What-Ifs...

 And they were there with David three days, eating and drinking, for their brethren had prepared for them. 1 Chronicles 12:39

After seeing that I had gained two pounds after getting on the scale after many months of not doing so, I started worrying if I were going to start gaining weight after all the 30+ years that Christ had allowed the vast majority of my weight to stay off. If I were really thinking clearly, I would have realized that I just needed to make sure my relationship with Christ was in alignment and the eating would fall into place, but I was caught up in the what-ifs! 

What if I can't stop gaining, what if gain all my weight back, etc.? I had picked up the old habit of snacking with my husband in the evenings while we watched T.V. together. I usually chose healthy snacks, but during this period of worrying about the what-ifs, it seems that the more I worried, the worse my snacking had become. It started seeming more important than it was and I started spending time planning out what I was going to snack each evening, but never really felt full. That's because I was turning to food for comfort, turning to food to tell me who I was instead of putting my stress and my eating into Christ's very capable hands-a lesson He taught me years ago at the beginning of the 80+ pound weight loss He allowed.

I was starting to be aware of what a problem the snacking was becoming and how my thinking had been clouded ever since I got on the scale and saw I had gained two pounds back. It seems silly to talk about two pounds having that big of an effect, but Satan knows where our weaknesses are and apparently that's where I was weakest at that time. Christ kept trying to keep refocusing me, and some times I was more open to it and sometimes I felt myself slipping down that old rabbit hole. Fortunately for me, Christ didn't give up on me easily! More to come in future posts.

 And they were there with David three days, eating and drinking, for their brethren had prepared for them. 1 Chronicles 12:39

Since I am writing how I've applied this Bible verse to my own life, you should know that it doesn't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse. Debbie

Not Satisfied although I had Eaten Enough!

 "When I have cut off your supply of bread, ten women shall bake your bread in one oven, and they shall bring back your bread by weight, & you shall eat and not be satisfied." Leviticus 26:26

The part that pertains to this post is underlined and is about eating and not being satisfied. In the previous post, I told how I got on the scale and found out I had gained two pounds which caused my old eating habits to crop back up!

I don't usually weigh myself on the scale, because it's too easy to give the scale the power to tell you whether you've been good or bad, related to weight loss or gain. It's very easy to take that concept even further. It's easy to let the scale tell you whether you are a good or worthwhile person or not, depending on what number the scale shows. Many years prior to this, Christ showed me many things after I prayed and told Him that if He ever wanted me to be thin, He'd have to do it, because I couldn't and was giving up on dieting! Over the years, I've realized that's probably the first time I've ever given up control and put it in Christ's very capable hands. He showed me that I should rarely get on the scale, because I had allowed it to tell me who I am and what kind of person I am.  After all these years of knowing this, I stepped on that scale to weigh a package, and fell back into those old counterproductive ways. I was eating, but was never satisfied! Fortunately, God helped me through this, but it took weeks or months to get refocused. I will share what happened in the future posts. "When I have cut off your supply of bread, ten women shall bake your bread in one oven, and they shall bring back your bread by weight, and you shall eat and not be satisfied." Leviticus 26:26

Since I am writing how I've applied this Bible verse to my own life, you should know that it doesn't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse. Debbie

Weights and Scales, Oh, My!

 'You shall have honest scales, honest weights, an honest ephah, and an honest hin [liquid measurement]: I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt.' Leviticus 19:36

You might wonder what this passage has to do in a Christian Overeaters post, but it is very pertinent to my situation. You should know this verse it is really talking about how God didn't want people to shortchange each other with dishonest weights and scales, but that's not how I applied this verse to my life.

We were mailing a small package and were trying to get an idea of how much it weighed to gage the amount of money needed to pay for its postage. I laid the package on our scale, but it didn't even register any numbers. Then I remembered a trick. I got on the scale to weigh myself, which is where the topic begins, and then I weighed myself with the package and subtracted the difference.

The problem was, when I first weighed myself, I found out that I weighed two pounds more than I usually do. Now, two pounds more isn't really that big a deal, but it started my mind in a tails spin, worrying if I was in a downward spiraling trajectory, only to gain all my weight back- all from a two pound weight gain! I know it's not reasonable, especially with Christ allowing the vast majority of my weight to stay off for over 30 years.  That's why this is called Christian Overeaters Past and Present Blog, because it doesn't take much to go back into old unproductive patterns of thinking and/or eating. 

It was on my mind that night and for many more days to come, but to be as honest with readers as I can, I will share what happened in the posts ahead.  'You shall have honest scales, honest weights, an honest ephah, and an honest hin [liquid measurement]: I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt.' Leviticus 19:36

Since I am writing how I've applied this Bible verse to my own life, you should know that it doesn't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse. Debbie

I Thought I Was of No Value for Years...

 I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give every man according to his ways, According to the fruit of his doings. Jeremiah 17:10

For many years, I thought I was of no value. After always being picked last for sports, being ignored by those who would rather hang out with the popular group, and ignored by those who grew up and wanted to belong to the popular groups. I had very little self-worth. 

I felt fat and repulsive, because others people's actions told me that's what I was, although no one ever said it with words. It was a sad, lonely life and I consoled myself with food. When I ate, none of that seemed to matter. Of course, in reality, the eating only made the problem worse and it made my self-esteem drop, as well. 

It wasn't until years of putting myself down, so no one could do it first, that God showed me differently. Christ saw the person inside me that has nothing to do with the numbers on the bathroom scale. God showed me that my self-worth is not determined by that or any one else. He searches the heart and tests the mind and gives to every man [or woman] according to [their] ways. Well, He allowed the 80 pounds of excess weight to come off and the vast majority of it to stay off for over 30 years, but that's not when Christ showed me my self-worth. He showed it to me when I was at my heaviest and down on myself, because He never gave up on me. Not because of my size, but because I am a blessed child of God and so are you. Don't forget to turn to Him, for He sees the person inside of you that has nothing to do with numbers on the scale, as well!