Why Do I Push the Limits?

Great is our Lord, mighty in power & His understanding has no limit. Psalm 147:5 NIV Bible

Fortunately for me, the Lord's understanding and forgiveness is limitless, but why do I push the limits? Actually, that's a really good question! I know He loves me unconditionally, but I'm always hedging, trying to find a way to have my cake and eat it to, both literally and figuratively!

He's shown me which foods I can eat and which I can't, usually by how my body reacts to them. Do I listen to what He shows me? Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't, especially when I really want something. An example is that I know that because I'm hypoglycemic, I don't handle sugar well. But when I go to the Mediterranean Buffet, I have to have some of their rice pudding that has chopped pistachio nuts across the top. I tell myself that I'm having the rice pudding because it reminds me about how my mother made rice pudding for me when I was younger.

Now, maybe a little rice pudding wouldn't have been so bad, but I push the limits and try to get the largest scoop of rice pudding that the large serving spoon will hold. I do similarly with other things. Like: sometimes I allow myself to have a little nut bread, like Banana Nut Bread, because I'm not eating it like a dessert. Really, I'm eating it because I like at the walnuts in it. But do I just take a small piece? No, I take a large piece and struggle not to go back and take more. I keep pushing my limitations and need to continue to pray to the Lord God to be in control of my eating issues. When I put Him in control, instead of letting food be in control of my life like a false god, my life and my eating fall into place!

The Slippery Slope and Chocolate!

 "Watch and pray so that you don't fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41 NIV Bible

This verse really has to do  with Jesus talking to His disciples shortly before He was betrayed by Judas Iscariot. Although that's not the focus of this passage, the words apply to my personal life related to temptations. I am hypoglycemic and know from experience that I shouldn't eat things with sugar. Sugar takes my body on a roller coaster ride. It elevates my blood sugar and then drops it very low. And sometimes those around me have to deal with the negative outcome I call the "Cranky Crabbies," when my blood sugar drops low after sweets.

Well, one time, I had made a 9" x 13" pan of chocolate brownies for my husband to take to work and share with co-workers. The batch got somewhat overcooked and the brownies were still on the sides of the pan. To redeem so of my labors of making the brownies, I cut about a half inch around the edges of the pan and only pulled out the ones within the middle. 

I wanted to make sure the middle brownies tasted O.K., so I ate one. It felt like a big 'Whoosh" went over my body. It was like after not eating sweets for so long, the effects of the chocolate had an extremely intense effect on me. I not only finished the brownie in my hand, but I ate every bit of the hard, overcooked portion of the brownies that I had to pry off the sides of the pan. I have since learned that chocolate has this effect on me even if I try a little bite of it. So, the Lord God has shown me that chocolate is my slippery slope, because my flesh is weak!

Hiding Behind My Disguise of Fat

The prophet went and stood by the road waiting for the king. He disguised himself with his headband down over his eyes. 1 Kings 20:38 NIV Bible 

Although I wasn't waiting on a road for a king, in the past, I have used my fat to keep me from interactions with others. I feared the rejection of others, so I told myself, "They won't want to be friends with me, because I'm heavy." Unfortunately, I did this for many years of my life, hiding behind my fat exterior.

But I found out when I was much thinner, thanks to the Lord God, that there are many other things we can hide behind, instead of our fat. I can say, "I don't drive as nice a car, I'm not in their social group, I'm not as attractive as they are, I'm not...." But these things are ways that have kept me from facing potential rejection.

Now, on the other hand, these things kept me from potentially having productive relationships with others. It wasn't until one day, I had this interaction with a very attractive young mother, that caused me to start view this differently. Actually, she had been an airline stewardess and a model, and was way out of my league. I never approached her, but one day when she was waiting to drop off her child at school, she seemed so forlorn. I asked her if she'd like to come over to my house and she said that she would. During the time she was there, she told me how lonely she was. She had major issues to contend with, but didn't have many friends for moral support throughout these. It appears I'm not the only one who doesn't approach others who appear to be out of our league. Anyway, this made me realize that my hiding behind my disguise of fat, not only hurt me, but it hurt this lady, who so badly needed a friend!

Down the Rabbit Hole

 Whoever digs a hole and scoops it out, falls into the pit they have made. Psalm 7:15 NIV Bible

Boy, I can really relate to this one! Sometimes I get so caught up in the daily events of life, that I put off my prayers, and the things like reading the Bible daily, that I know refresh me and my faith. When I do these things, when I later think about them, I realize that my interactions with others, especially those I care deeply about, has been less than patient and kind.

I know from experience that when I start my day with prayer and reading from the Bible sets such a positive tone for my life and my day. Why would I ever think to put it off until later or even think about skipping it, just today, because things are so busy?

Through these daily prayers and Bible reading, the Lord encourages me to be more mindful of being the person He wants me to be. There's such a definite difference when I don't push the world aside and take the time needed to do this. It usually only takes about 30 minutes, which really is a 30 minute investment is a much more peaceful day! Why would I allow myself to slip down the rabbit hole that I've dug for myself, and choose to put off what makes a major difference in my life?

Milking My Relationships with Others

 Do not take advantage of the widows or the fatherless. Exodus 22:22 NIV Bible

Although I haven't taken advantage of widows or the fatherless, there have been times when I have milked my relationship with others for various reasons. Sometimes it's just to get on their good side. Sometimes, it's because I wanted something from them, their knowledge or a favor from them. The thing is, I feel terrible about ever having done this!

The Lord Jesus teaches us that even though we have sinned, we don't have to continue doing those things. So, although I don't always realize when I'm doing this, that I should immediately turn this over to the Lord God's gracious hands to heal me of my ulterior motives!

I don't like it when others take advantage of me, why should I think it's O.K. for me to do so to others? What really hurts my heart, is that I sometimes try to take advantage of Christ. I use my faith in Him, to ask special favors that benefit me.  In Jeremiah 49:11, it says: "Leave your fatherless children, I will keep them alive. Your widows can [also] depend on Me." The thing is, there is a big difference related to depending on the Lord and trying to take advantage of the Lord. I don't want to cross those lines, but I'm fearful that I have in the past. Oh, Lord, I am prayerful that You heal me of milking relationships with others, but especially with You!!!