Trying to Fill a Hole

 You planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to pt them in a purse with holes in it. Haggai 1:6 NIV Bible

Boy, that seems to describe me to a tee, especially the part about eating, but never have enough. Having been to a funeral, of late, I'm still trying to deal with the overwhelming feelings of grief that spring up now and again. I feel like grieving is a lay-away thing for me. A little grief now, a little grief later, often when you least expect it.

Well, I had been good about turning my eating over to the Lord God's very capable hands during all of this, but there was one evening, when I had already had enough to eat, that I picked up a half-full bag of a semi-healthy snack. I sat down and just ate every single piece of snack food in that bag! I was trying to fill a hole with my eating, which nobody could fill but the Lord.

I knew ahead of time that this mindless eating wouldn't solve my grief, but I did it anyway, knowing that. Go figure! When I turned to the Lord about this, I admitted to Him how counterproductive this was. Not only did it not satisfy my grief, it left me nauseated the next day. I need to just stay focused on turning my feelings over to the Lord, rather than grabbing the handiest bag to help solve the hole in the pit of my stomach!

Dealing with Sad News!

 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, mourning, crying, or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4 NIV Bible

It wasn't too long ago, that we got some very sad news about a relative, who passed away long before anyone would have expected. I felt so overwhelmed, and it just didn't seem like it could possibly be true. How could this person be gone at such a young age? Every time I thought about it, my eyes welled up with tears, to the point I felt unable to discuss it with anyone.

I found myself just wanting to eat something, anything, just mindless eating, like it would disguise the loss and pain that I was feeling, and still am feeling, but not as frequently. The thing is, the Lord God has showed me so many times, that eating isn't the way to deal with my emotions and pain. When I'm doing that, I'm turning to food for comfort, instead of turning to the Lord God for that comfort. Once I realized that's what I'm doing, I was able to turn that pain over into Christ's very capable hands to soothe my pain. 

The passage I listed, is about when we join the Lord in heaven and there's no more pain, and crying. What a wonderful thing, that He has waiting for us, when it's our time to join Him. It comforts me, thinking that my loved one might be there waiting for me!

My Shortcomings are Many!

 The chief cup-bearer said to Pharaoh, "I'm reminded of my shortcomings." Genesis 41:9 NIV Bible

I have soooo many shortcomings, it would be difficult to mention even half of them! Many of them had to do with being a compulsive overeater for so many years, and I turned to food to comfort me in times of stress, boredom, anxiety, etc. The thing is, when I turned my food, my body, my stress, and my eating over to the Lord God's very capable hands, everything started to change. I no longer continually craved sweets and excessive amounts of food. The Lord had taken those off my plate, pun intended, because when the Lord God took those cravings away from me, those foods were no longer on my plate. Actually, I never really thought of it that way before!

I can't help but think that many people miss out of some of the earlier posts I wrote that can be found on links at my Christian Overeaters Past and Present Support blog site: https://christianovereaterssupport.blogspot.com/ These earlier blog posts tell what it was like along the way, as the Lord allowed me the 80+ pound weight loss. It tells about how I felt about myself and how I felt about my body, during the weight loss. I think these posts might be very beneficial for some.

The thing is, despite all my many shortcomings, the Lord God loves me just the way I am. He loved me when I was extremely overweight. He loved me when I was moderately overweight. He Loved me when I was at my goal weight. He will continue to love me no mater what weight I'm at in the future. I used to worry about what other people thought about me being so heavy, but I didn't realize those things don't really matter so much. With knowing the Lord loves me whatever weight I am, helped me to not worry so much about superficial things like that, and focus on being the Christian He wants me to be! The thing is, the Lord God loves you whatever weight you are, and no matter how many shortcoming you may have, as well!

Obsessing Over Food Has Never Been Beneficial for Me

[Don't] be carried [away] with [diverse, a.k.a. various,] & strange doctrines, [a.k.a. teachings.] For it's a good thing that the heart [is] established with grace, not with meats, [a.k.a. foods,] which haven't [benefited those who] have been [preoccupied with them.] Hebrews 13:9 KJV Bible [paraphrased] 

Whenever I read this passage, it's like looking in a mirror and seeing my reflection. It's not always easy recognizing that we've become preoccupied by foods. I used to plan early in the day, if not the day before, what I was going to eat, eagerly looking forward to that time. This is not the pre-planning that's suggested to balance out your meals, making sure you have the correct amount of healthy non-fattening foods to eat. 

I was soooo obsessed over foods, until I finally gave up one day and told the Lord God, that if He ever wanted me to be thin, He'd have to do it, because I couldn't. I had tried and tried so many different diets, and even retried many of them, but nothing worked. I sometimes lost a few pounds, only to gain back even more than I started with.

On that day that I turned over my control over my food, body, eating, and stress, without even realizing I was doing it, everything changed. Actually, it didn't give up and turn everything over to the Lord, because I expected a change. I just wanted to stop the struggle with trying to loose weight and the self-loathing that came from not being able to do so! Well, that very same day, the Lord took away the urge to eat large portions of foods, especially those that weren't healthy for me. It was amazing! The Lord God has blessed me with an 80+ pound weight loss, and He has allowed it to stay off for over 40 years. This doesn't mean that I don't ever slip back into old patterns, but when I go back to turning all my food, body, eating, and stress over to the Lord's very capable hands every time I eat a meal, or I'm tempted to eat something I shouldn't, He's in control, every time I relinquish my control to not do what isn't beneficial for me!

What About Honest Scales?

Honest scales and balances belong to the Lord; all weights in the bag are of His making. Proverbs 16:11 NIV Bible

Really, in the Bible this Bible Passages doesn't have to do so much with the scales that we weigh ourselves on, but it has to do with the merchants who would cheat the buyer by using unfair scales and weights. The thing is, this relates to me as an Christian  Overeater!

There are times that I remember sleecing my way through a pie, trying to make my overeating undiscovered by my family. I called it a sleece, because that was my version of an extra small slice of pie. The thing is, that would only whet my appetite and I would have sleece after sleece until a third of the pie was gone. Most definitely my family wouldn't have missed a third of a pie that I had just made!!!! Who was I trying to fool???

It wasn't until I prayed that day, telling the Lord God that if He ever wanted me thin, He's have to do it, because I couldn't, and I was giving up! I never in a million years thought that the very same day, the Lord God would turn my whole life upside down! And He took away my urge to eat large amounts of food, and to hide it from others. That doesn't mean that I don't ever start to backslide, but fortunately for me, the Lord has what I'm doing on my heart, and once I put my food, my stress, and my eating into His very capable hands, He puts me back on track! 

Me, Impatient? No Way!

 If someone ventures a word with you, will you be impatient? But who can keep you from speaking? Job 4:2 NIV Bible

This seems to be a very appropriate verse for me right now. I was trying to update a post on another blog: 

Books of the Bible [in SmallerChunks] at https://bibleinsmallerchunks.blogspot.com/ 

Anyway, I kept trying to put the newer versions of some of the recently edited Bible chapters in my post. But it seemed that some glitch or another would happen to them. It probably has something to do with my computer, because it froze up on me earlier this morning! 

Fortunately, before I started working on this project with the updated chapters, I prayed asking the Lord God to give me the Peace Which Passes All Understanding. 

Satan must have been wanting to test my faith, because there were no less than ten times that errors would happen, when I was trying to paste these in. In the past, I would have eaten when I was frustrated over something like this. But when this would happen, I would always remember that God is All-Powerful, and these issues would be resolved. Not of my own patience or technical abilities, but the Lord God took care of these issues, and kept me from losing my cool! I really should pray for His Peace Which Passes All Understanding more often, because there are some times I don't respond as calmly. 

Trying Again, and What a Major Difference That Made for Me

 Let us search and try out ways, and turn again to the Lord. Lamentations 3:4 KJV Bible

I wrote some time ago, about my blunders related to going to a buffet. I know better than to even step foot into a buffet, but sometimes it seems like the most appropriate place to go with those you are eating with. 

This time, I prayed about it before I went, and praying to the Lord God first, made a major difference! Actually, I just realized that it's because the other people I was meeting at the buffet hadn't arrived yet, which allowed me the extra time to pray before stepping in there. In fact, as I retrace this situation in my mind, I had tried to go inside the restaurant, but they had the doors locked because they don't open the doors before the official opening time. 

The Lord worked a major miracle for me, since buffets are one of my bigger eating temptations! It turned out that this time, I didn't heap my plate up with food like I normally do, in order to get my money's worth! But writing about this situation made me realize the Lord had a lot of things fall into play for all of this to happen. First, the others hadn't arrived yet, when they could have been there. Then, the restaurant doors were locked, but they could have been opened. All these things left me with extra time in my car trying to think about what to do while I wait. Then, it dawned on me that I should pray about my temptations with buffets. It made an amazing difference for me. Not only was I not hungry after I ate a normal sized plate of buffet food, but I had a special calmness that only the Lord God can give. I call it The Peace Which Passes All Understanding! But He reminded me that I need to be more prayerful before I attempt things that might be a temptation, not only with foods, but with interactions with others, etc! This was the most productive time I've had while waiting for others, ever!