Honestly, This is About Honesty!

So justice is driven back, and righteousness stands at a distance, truth has stumbled in the streets, and honesty cannot enter. Isaiah 59:14 NIV Bible

Am I always honest with myself about what I'm eating, or why I eat? Well, that's a thought-provoking question for me to prayerfully ponder. I was really looking for a different very about honesty, but this one caught my eye, so her I am, pondering this!

I guess, sometimes I just want to eat a particular item, whether it's actually time to eat, or whether I'm even hungry. If I'm totally being honest, which is the whole point of this particular post, I have been wanting to have some more peanuts in the shell, for several weeks now. The thing is, I've had so many nutrition types of courses that it's difficult for me to just eat the peanuts any time, I want. I have been putting off eating them, because I already had too many protein foods, or beans in my food that day, that it wasn't a very balanced decision for me to eat them at that point. Actually, it's the Lord God, Who shows me things I should or shouldn't do, but it's whether I bulldoze through His wise suggestions and do what I want, or I am open to listening to His divine logic.

Unfortunately, there have been times when I just wanted to eat them, regardless of what He's shown me, and bulldozed through, grabbed the bag, acting like I'm doing in a balanced way, but only eating a bowl full of them. But being truthful, during those times, I made sure the bowl held every single peanut it could without any toppling out of the overfilled bowl. I did stop eating when I finished the bowl full of peanuts, but if truth be told, I really pushed it to the limit. The funny thing was, I wasn't really hungry when I ate them. I just wanted to eat them!

I Wanted those Peanuts!

 They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved. Psalm 78:18 NIV Bible 

This Bible verse is extremely appropriate for this post! I had been thinking about having some peanuts in the shell for a couple of days. I kind of scoped out a time when my eating was balanced, so that eating them wouldn't throw off my food program. I picked a night when I hadn't eaten much protein, and the dinner was somewhat light, and I ate almost every peanut that I put in that cereal bowl.

Sure, I'm using the cereal bowl for my maximum measurement for peanuts in the shell, instead of the large soup bowls I used to use. But I maxed out how many peanuts could fit in the bowl without spilling over! Sure, I was trying to balance having a splurge like this with the other foods I've eaten. But I wanted those peanuts in the shell, too much! Sure, I didn't get more peanuts after I finished the bowl, but it's that the desire for these peanuts was like a plot that I had secretly contrived in my heart!

Maybe having a healthy snack every now-and-then, isn't too bad, but it's when food becomes too important to me, that it can lead to my downfall. Before, the Lord God showed me how food had become a false god to me, because I turned to it for comfort instead of turning to Him, to calm whatever is stressing me. I was ignoring those warning signs that had cropped up within me. I need to be very prayerful about when I crave things, instead of turning to the Lord God, my Savior! 

Anxiety Was Getting the Best of Me!

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer & petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6 NIV Bible

Recently, I wanted to eat more after having a really filling dinner. I tried to prayerfully contemplate why that was. I thought about my lunch, and it was filling, as well. I couldn't figure out why I still felt so hungry and wanted to eat more.

I asked the Lord why I felt this way, and the feeling the Lord God had on my heart, was that I was feeling anxious about something I watched on TV. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that He was exactly right! The things I had watched really stressed me out, and my anxiety was getting the best of Me!

The tricky thing is, I have a feeling that I will be seeing more stressful things on TV, and I wasn't sure what to do. In fact, that has happened several times, since this happened. It is vitally important that during stressful times, especially since I'm what I call, "A Stress Eater," that every time I'm feeling extra hungry when I shouldn't be hungry, I turn to the Lord in prayer about it. He is able to refocus me, so that I don't eat the door knobs off. That's my expression for what it feels like when I'm very stressed and feel starved, because of the stress, to the point that I feel I could eat the door knobs off! 

The Shoe is on the Other Foot!

 Do nothing out of selfish ambition and vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians  2:3 NIV Bible

Years ago, one of my most noteworthy lessons the Lord God had for me related to my food, was when I got frustrated with my young daughter for wanting to give my green apples to her friends for a snack. I told her that if she did that, we wouldn't have enough apples for the whole family, but they really were for me, because there weren't many healthy things I could snack on. I have regretted that day, since then, but the Lord showed me how important food, even healthy food, had become in my life. It was shortly after that, I gave up on ever being thing, and I basically told the Lord God, that if He ever wanted me to be thin, He'd have to do it, because I couldn't. It was that very same day that He changed everything around, and He allowed me to loose over 80 pounds and to keep the vast majority of it off for over 30 years. 

Well, now the shoe was on the other foot! We were given a box of treats, and there was only one thing in the box that I could eat. It was a breakfast croissant with not sweets. I was kind of excited when I pulled that out of the box, and put it on the plate to briefly nuke it before eating it with my lunch. I found that someone else wanted that croissant, even though they had the whole rest of the box of treats for themself.

I asked if they wanted it, and the person did, so I reluctantly relinquished it. At first, I was very frustrated, but then the Lord showed had it on my heart, that this was somewhat similar to the situation I had with my daughter many years earlier. Why was I so resentful about it? The Lord worked on my heart, showing me that I, more than most, must understand how it is to let food, or the desire for it, to control your life. I have been prayerfully contemplating this ever since them. I'm trying to turn over the willingness to have compassion for the person, rather than resentment, for having it taken away from me. Actually, that means that I haven't totally relinquished the hold that food has on me, if I feel resentment over it. Again, I need to continue to be prayerful about this!