Follow Up on the Previous Post about Sinking into the Greedy Gurdies

He, [who] boasts about the cravings of his heart, he blesses the greedy & [disgusts] the Lord. Psalm 10:3 NIV Bible

This is part of what I wrote in my previous post: It reminds me of how I had already eaten two fried egg sandwiches and was basically full, but the emptiness within me still felt hungry, so I made a third fried egg sandwich that fell on the floor. It fell mayonnaise side down on the floor and it was goopy to pick the fried egg part up off the floor, but I did, and promptly reassembled the sandwich, and ate it. Although I have many mixed feelings about this episode, it was the start of the many changes the Lord God did in my life related to food. Through these, and putting by food, by body, my eating, and my stress into the Lord God's very capable hands, He blessed me with a weight loss of over 80 pounds and He has allowed the vast majority of that weight loss to stay off over the 30+ years. The thing is, if the Lord can do this for me, who is has sunk into the Greedy Gurdies, He can do it for you, if you only ask Him. I will explain more in the next post.

During the time prior to turning things over into the Lord God's hands, the Lord had many lessons for me, like this and the one in the previous post about scolding my daughter for wanting to share my favorite apples with her friends. It was like I was watching my actions in slow motion, and I was appalled with how I let food and wanting to be thin, control my life. It seems that most of my life, up until that point had been involved with dieting, or dealing with the insecurities of being overweight. 

I even tried what I called "My Best Diet," and even though I tried not to fudge too much on that diet, I still gained weight! I didn't know what to do. I decided that after being on sooooooo many diets, only to gain the weight back plus some extra, I might as well give up on dieting and just learn to deal with being fat, although I hate that word! So, I decided to let the Lord God know what my newest plan was. I sat on my bed and prayed, "Lord, I give up! If you every want me to be thin, You'll have to do it, because I can't!" Well, I was so surprised, because starting that evening and there after, I no longer had the urge to eat mountains of sweets and multiple plates of food. That desire was taken away from me through God's miracle that He did in my life. Although, I can't say that I don't start to slip back into old eating patterns, as soon as I pray to the Lord God, He brings me back into focus, and He can do the same for you, if you let Him!

 

Sinking into the Greedy Gurdies

The greedy stir up conflict, and those, who trust in the Lord will prosper. Proverbs 28:25 NIV Bible

Well, the conflict that's stirred up when I'm greedy related to food, is more of a personal sort. Not only is there the potential for weight gain, but when I'm greedy, it brings up all these mixed feelings from my past.

It reminds me of when I was about 8 or 9 and I skimmed the top layer off the homemade butterscotch pudding my mother had set in the window to cool. My only thought after being sent to my room, was that if I had known my mother would end up throwing out the whole bowl of pudding, I would have eaten even more of it! I had no sense of remorse!

It reminds me of when I encouraged the neighbor boy to go with me to the "Candy Store" two times to steal candy and treats. I never got caught, but the Lord had such an uneasy feeling within me, that let me realize that this dastardly deed was known by the Lord God, even if no one else knew. I never did that again, because I didn't like the idea of doing something that would disappoint the Lord, that way. 

It reminds me of how I scolded my young daughter trying to get some of my favorite Pippin Apples from the refrigerator to give to her friends. She ended up feeling guilty for doing that, but I felt justified in scolding her for doing this, because they were my only special treat, since I was dieting. Later, once I thought of my self-serving actions, I deeply regretted by response to my daughter. I so wish that I had instead shared admiration for her wanting to share with her friends, but I can't change what I said, although I apologized years later.

It reminds me of how I had already eaten two fried egg sandwiches and was basically full, but the emptiness within me still felt hungry. So, I made a third fried egg sandwich that fell on the floor. It fell mayonnaise side down on the floor and it was goopy to pick the fried egg part up off the floor, but I did and promptly reassembled the sandwich and ate it. Although I have many mixed feelings about this episode, it was the start of the many changes the Lord God did in my life related to food. Through these, and putting my food, my body, my eating, and my stress into the Lord God's very capable hands, He blessed me with a weight loss of over 80 pounds and He has allowed the vast majority of that weight loss to stay off over the 30+ years. The thing is, if the Lord can do this for me, who is has sunk into the Greedy Gurdies, He can do it for you, if you only ask Him. I will explain more in the next post.

I Thought I was Past This!!!!

The Lord said to Moses, "I have heard the grumbling of the Israelites. Tell them, 'At twilight you will eat meat, and in the morning you will be filled with bread. Then, you will know that I Am the Lord your God.' Exodus 16:11-12 NIV Bible

Yesterday, when we went for lunch with friends, I could smell either pancakes or waffles. It made me think of the waffles that I love with lots of pecans on them, so I planned on making waffles for dinner tonight. My mother used to make breakfast for dinner when I was a kid and it was always a special treat!

I planned to put the chopped almonds on top of my husband's waffles, because I can no longer eat them. It seems that I choke more when I eat almonds, which is a shame, because I really like them.  I was going to make the waffle for me with pecans, one of my favorites! When my husband wanted pecan waffles, too, instead of one with chopped almonds, I got very defensive. I didn't want to share the pecans that I had stashed away for myself.

If you are reading between the lines, you'll realize that I was exhibiting some high-risk compulsive overeating behaviors. I had stashed those pecans aside just for me and I wasn't willing to share them. I even got very frustrated with him for even mentioning that he wanted pecans on his waffles, which is a normal thing for anyone to want. After trying to turn my struggling feelings over to the Lord God, I realized I was making food a false god again, and turning to food, instead of to the Lord, something I thought I no longer did. Obviously, I was wrong, but when I finally realized how I over-reacted to my husband's wanting a pecan waffle, I continued to try to put this in the Lord's hands. Eventually, He pushed through my foggy thinking and showed me what I was doing. I couldn't believe that I was doing this again after all these years! I thought I was past this! Fortunately, Jesus showed me the error of my ways, so I prayerfully decided to give my stash of pecans to my husband. Why keep something that's going to tempt me and lead me in to old, unhealthy patterns.