My Eyes Were Bigger than My Stomach, but Did that Stop Me?

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of lights. Matthew 6:22 NIV Bible

My eyes were just too big for my stomach, but did that stop me? No! I ate every last bite, although I knew it wasn't good for me. Why did I do this when I knew better? I was proud of picking such a reasonably priced meal that gave more food than the meals that cost almost double the price. 

The thing is, I already knew this, but I did it any way! I was trying to show the people with me what a good deal that this particular meal was. Actually, I think it backfired on me. Instead of realizing what a good deal it was, the look on their faces seemed to say, "I can't believe she's eating all of this!" That wasn't exactly the messages that I was trying to get across.

In the first place, why am I using food to get attention from others? I shouldn't need their admiration to bolster up my self-esteem. Actually, when I ate all that food, trying to make a point about how much food that meal choice provides, I made myself nauseated by eating all of it. To top it all off, I was nauseated with what I had done! I had reverted back to old patterns of using food for comfort, instead of turning to the Lord God for comfort, that goes far beyond one meal, since He's there for me for a lifetime, provided I don't let myself drift away by worldly things!

Was I Paying Attention to the Lessons I Had Learned?

 A discerning son [or daughter] heeds instruction, but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father. Proverbs 28:7 NIV Bible

Now, what I did was all backwards from this Bible verse. I didn't pay attention to the lessons the Lord God had previously shown me about food and overeating. And to top that off, I was the glutton, not some companion!

There's this restaurant I like to eat at, but we don't go there often. There's a particular dish on the menu that provides lots of food and it's one of the least expensive things on the menu. I recently ordered this and was pleased when they brought me plate after plate or bowl of more food.

It's not so bad to get a good deal on your meal, but it is bad to eat every last bit of despite knowing that you're too full to eat it all! I went home sick to my stomach, thinking about what I had done, when I knew I could have left the food on my plate. I thought about how I relished eating every single bite of it, something the Lord showed me years ago that's counterproductive for me. In fact, when He showed me this lesson years ago, I started leaving a bite of each type of food on my plate as a reminder that I don't have to eat every last bite of food, just because it's there. Obviously, I wasn't heeding the instruction I had been given from the Lord!

A Little Too Eager!

Now eagerly desire the greater gifts. And [still] I will show you a more excellent way. 1 Corinthians 12:31 NIV Bible

It was the birthday of a relative and we were taking him out to dinner. I had spent hours planning what I was going to order. I was going to gloat over what a wonderful food choice I had made. Well, these would most definitely NOT be the greater gifts.

In fact, I was doing the complete opposite to all the Lord God had shown me many years ago. In all this focus on what I was going to eat, and on the desire to gloat in front of others, I was falling back into old patterns of making food a false god in my life.

I was turning to food to give me pleasure, to give me worth, instead of turning to the Lord God for these. One of the biggest things the Lord showed me all those years ago when He blessed me with the loss of over 80 pounds, was that food had become a false god. I had turned to food for comfort to sooth me when I was worried, stressed, concerned or joyful, instead of putting these issues into Christ's very capable hands. Now, to top those off, was the issue of becoming complacent about what He had taught me and I wanted to gloat about my food choices in front of others. Complacency one of many ways that Satan can sneak up and fool Christians, into losing their focus on their Savior and all He's done for them. This was a big eye-opening realization for me! 

Don't Follow the Crowd

 Don't follow the crowd in doing wrong. When you give testimony in a lawsuit, do not pervert justice by siding with the crowd. Exodus 23:2 NIV Bible

I enjoy reading the Bible from cover to cover, a little each day, and then rereading it again, and again. One of the reasons I enjoy this so much, is that it sets a very positive tone to my day, but also, because there are passages like this one that don't seem related to my life, but have a way of giving me a personal message anyway.

Although, I don't relate to the lawsuit portion, I do relate to standing in a crowd and hearing them laugh at others, and condoning their behavior by joining their laughter. Whether that was laughing at or talking about others who were heavy, disabled, or different ethnicity, or different in some other way, it was still WRONG!

Actually, I didn't feel like joining in and didn't agree with whatever they were laughing at or talking about, because I knew what it felt like to be laughed at. I knew what it felt like to be talked about, but it wasn't easy bucking the crowd. Having been heavy a big portion of my life, I didn't want to stand out, and just wanted to fit in with the crowd, for once, but was it worth it? No, because it lowered my opinion of myself, and was so against what I stand for. I wasn't being the person that Christ wanted me to be. I wasn't showing empathy for the one laughed at or talked about, and I wasn't being a part of stopping that behavior! Although I still find it difficult to buck the crowd, I trust the Lord to show me how to convey to them, "It's not nice to make fun of others. You wouldn't like it if they did that to you!"