Don't Be Afraid

 So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:31 NIV Bible

This comes from one of my many favorite passages in the Bible. This is when Jesus tells us to know worry about what we are going to eat, what we are going to wear, what's going to happen, because He will take care of us, because we are worth more than many sparrows [very loosely paraphrased].

It was one of the many things that was a major turning point in my life, with my weight, and my faith walk with Christ. Control issues are my biggest problem. Although I didn't realize this at the time, I used to spend big portions of my days figuring out my budget, then refiguring it, trying to change it in some way of benefit to us. I never realized that all those years of fretting over how we were going to pay the bills, or buy food, I wasn't trusting Jesus Christ to provide for us. I had read this passage before, but I must have had blinders on, because it didn't really register until this specific time. It made me look at so many different things in my life, and realize that when I'm worrying about things, I'm not trusting the Lord God to provide our needs.

Although I'm not totally sure, but I think this laid the foundations for what the Lord showed me with my eating, as well. I had been turning to food for years, like a false god, to comfort me when I was worried or stressed, instead of turning these things of worry into Christ's very capable hands. When I finally, let Him be in control, our needs got me, without the stress, my weight started dropping off, without my planning it, and my faith walk with Christ, was on a whole different level, for He took away the fear and He can do it for you too, if you'd let Him. Just ask He, because He listens!

Be Strong and Don't Give Up

" But as for you, be strong and don't give up, for your work will be rewarded." 2 Chronicles 15:7 NIV Bible

I think I waited to hear someone tell me that most of my life. I longed for the words, I think that's, because it conveys I have some value, that's worth rewarded. No matter how many years I yearned to hear it from someone, a friend, a family member, a stranger on the street, those words never would come. I was waiting for someone else to validate my life, my value, and my efforts!

The thing is, Christ was always in the background saying this to me. Unfortunately, I had invisible earplugs in while the Lord said, "Debbie, be strong and don't give up, for you are of value, and your work will be rewarded." Fortunately for me, the Lord God doesn't give up that easily, despite invisible earplugs or an independent, stubborn attitude. 

I was blessed that Jesus Christ loved me as I am, and saw through my layers of fat, that hid my insecurities beneath them, from the sight of others. He showed me that no matter what my size was, I had value. So much so, that Jesus gave His own life for me, to save me from myself, the invisible earplugs, and the sinful things I did to punish myself for not being lovable. When in fact, I was very loved, but just didn't see it through the pain! But Christ never gave up and continued to tell me, "Debbie, be strong and don't give up, for you are of value, and your work will be rewarded," and eventually, I genuinely listened to Him!

I Pleaded with the Lord

 At that time, I pleaded with the Lord. Deuteronomy 3:23 NIV Bible

I pleaded with the Lord, about helping me loose weight. I pleaded in the mid-morning. I pleaded at noon. I pleaded in the afternoon. I pleaded at dinner time, and in the evening. I even pleaded in the middle of the night. And although I didn't hear an immediate answer from the Lord, related to my request, He was always there with me, listening to me, through it all.

He was with me, when kids picked me last for sports. He was with me with kids laughed. He was there when I felt lonely. He was there when I felt the need to put myself down, so their comments in return, wouldn't hurt so much. He was there, when I settled for relationships that weren't healthy, because I didn't feel I deserved better. He was there to pick me back up, when I realized what I had done, and didn't know what to do. The Lord was always there!

He saw me try to loose the weight on my own, only asking Him to help me loose the weight. But He rejoiced when I got to the point that I gave up being in control, which is still a very difficult issue for me. He rejoiced when I let Him, show me the way. He rejoiced that through my weaknesses, He's shown me strength, through Him. He can do the same for you, as well, if you'd let Him!

You are Too Heavy a Burden

At that time, I said, "You are too heavy a burden for me to carry alone." Deuteronomy 1:9 NIV Bible

Actually, in this passage, Moses is talking about that being responsible for all the Israelites in the wilderness, was too heavy a burden to do all by himself. One of the things I really like about reading the Bible from cover to cover over and over again, is that some Bible passages that don't seem like they relate to my life, due to the time difference, really do relate to my life on a different level.

What it made me thing of, is how truly I'm blessed that the Lord never said to me, "Debbie, you're too heavy a burden for me to carry alone." He waited patiently in the wings all those years that I prayed to Him to help me loose all my weight. He let me do my thing in going on a bajillion different diets. He let me do my thing, by going to many different weight loss groups. He waited until I gave up on doing my own thing, before He showed me that He was there all along, waiting for me!

It wasn't until I said, "Lord, I give up on ever being thin. If You want me to be thin, You'll have to do it Yourself, because I can't!" He didn't rub my face in how arrogant I was all those years thinking I could do it on my own, with a little assistance from God. He allowed me to realize that giving up the control in my life, and giving that control over to Christ's very capable hands was the most productive thing in my life. He continues to be there through the thick and the thin, with my life, my stress, my weight, and everything else! He will be there for you too, if you let Him!

I and Stubborn with a Capitol 'S'

 I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices. Psalm 81:12 NIV Bible

Although this is really what this passage is speaking about, it is speaking about stubbornness, which I have an over abundance of! My grandfather used to call me a bull dog, which really seems to suit me to a tee!

So, my prayers all those many years were, "Lord, help me loose the weight." I prayed it so many times, that the Lord God, might have wished that He had ear muffs to block out my hollow requests. So, He let me do my own thing! I was on so many diets, and went to many weight loss groups, and some several times, but nothing happened about my weight. Sure, sometimes, I lost a few pounds, but always gained back even more shortly thereafter. 

It wasn't until I finally gave up my stubbornness, that something different happened with my weight, although I didn't know that's what I was doing. I basically had given up on dieting any longer, and I prayed, "Lord, I give up on dieting and being thin. If You ever want me to be thin, You'll have to do it Yourself, because I can't!" That's when things started to change. That exact same day, the desire for large amounts of food, sweets, and carbs was taken away from me. The Lord allowed an 80+ pound weight loss and has kept the majority of it off for over 30 years. But it's not from what I did. It's from not being stubborn and trying to do it myself, but by putting it and my stress into Christ's very capable hands. And He can do it for you, too!