The Lord Listened to My Out Cry

 "In my distress I called to the Lord. I called out to my God. From His temple, He heard my voice. My cry came to His ears." 2 Samuel 22:7 NIV Bible

I was busy with preparations to be with family. We had an overwhelming amount of last minute things to do to prepare to be with them through their loss. We were so blessed to be able to be with them, but it seems it served another purpose.

I thought I was handling things pretty well through everything, but when I sat down waiting to be picked up at the hotel for our flight home, all I wanted to do is cry, and cry, and cry! Being prayerful about this, I turned to the Lord God, Who reminded me of another time in my life, when I had hidden my true feelings by being so busy with all the preparations, that I didn't really take time to feel.

The Lord was right. Of course He would be, because the Lord God always sees the big picture! Here I was again, hiding my feelings of grief behind busy preparations, but it didn't totally hide the grief. It just kicked the can down the road. So that, as I sat in the hotel lobby, and nothing else to preoccupy my mind, I had time to think, and to feel, and all I wanted to do was cry. Fortunately for me, Christ has broad shoulders and let me cry out to Him, for comfort through all of this. He was there and He continues to be there as I need that same comfort periodically. I am so very blessed to have a comforter like Christ!

Trying to Fill a Hole

 You planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to pt them in a purse with holes in it. Haggai 1:6 NIV Bible

Boy, that seems to describe me to a tee, especially the part about eating, but never have enough. Having been to a funeral, of late, I'm still trying to deal with the overwhelming feelings of grief that spring up now and again. I feel like grieving is a lay-away thing for me. A little grief now, a little grief later, often when you least expect it.

Well, I had been good about turning my eating over to the Lord God's very capable hands during all of this, but there was one evening, when I had already had enough to eat, that I picked up a half-full bag of a semi-healthy snack. I sat down and just ate every single piece of snack food in that bag! I was trying to fill a hole with my eating, which nobody could fill but the Lord.

I knew ahead of time that this mindless eating wouldn't solve my grief, but I did it anyway, knowing that. Go figure! When I turned to the Lord about this, I admitted to Him how counterproductive this was. Not only did it not satisfy my grief, it left me nauseated the next day. I need to just stay focused on turning my feelings over to the Lord, rather than grabbing the handiest bag to help solve the hole in the pit of my stomach!

Dealing with Sad News!

 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, mourning, crying, or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4 NIV Bible

It wasn't too long ago, that we got some very sad news about a relative, who passed away long before anyone would have expected. I felt so overwhelmed, and it just didn't seem like it could possibly be true. How could this person be gone at such a young age? Every time I thought about it, my eyes welled up with tears, to the point I felt unable to discuss it with anyone.

I found myself just wanting to eat something, anything, just mindless eating, like it would disguise the loss and pain that I was feeling, and still am feeling, but not as frequently. The thing is, the Lord God has showed me so many times, that eating isn't the way to deal with my emotions and pain. When I'm doing that, I'm turning to food for comfort, instead of turning to the Lord God for that comfort. Once I realized that's what I'm doing, I was able to turn that pain over into Christ's very capable hands to soothe my pain. 

The passage I listed, is about when we join the Lord in heaven and there's no more pain, and crying. What a wonderful thing, that He has waiting for us, when it's our time to join Him. It comforts me, thinking that my loved one might be there waiting for me!