How Do I Manage Things?

 Jesus told His disciples: "There was a rich man, whose manager was accused of wasting his, [the rich man's] possessions. Luke 116:1 NIV Bible

I went to have my car checked yesterday, and they had some snacks laid out for the customers. I had taken one snack home with me, that I didn't get to eat while there. I wanted to eat it later, but I knew that my spouse also liked that snack item. So, I hid it. That doesn't speak of my managing my food well. 

Many years ago, the Lord God had shown me that I had allowed food to become a false god to me. I was turning to that food to comfort me in times of stress, instead of putting stressful things into the very capable hands of the Lord. He healed me of that need to turn to food for comfort, as He showed me that I needed to turn to Him, instead of comfort.

The thing is, I had managed to fall back into that old eating pattern, where food had become too important to me, that I even went to the great lengths of hiding it from my husband. While writing this, I realize that I need to take that coveted snack item and put it in plain sight, so that my husband knows that he is welcome to eat it. Also, I need to apologize to the Lord for letting food manage me, and my actions, instead of me turning that food and the desire for it, over to Him. That's why this is called the Christian Overeaters Past and Present Blog, because those old eating patterns tend to creep back up from time to time. Fortunately for me, the Lord God is there to refocus me on what is important, which is my faith in Him! 

Craving Peanuts in the Shell

 But while the meat was still between their teeth, and before it could be consumed, the anger of the Lord burned against the people, and He struck them with a severe plague. Therefore, the place was named Kibroth Hattaavah, because they buried the people who had craved other food there. Numbers 11:33-34 NIV Bible

Off and on over several different posts, I've talked about how I have really been craving peanuts in the shell. I eat the unsalted ones, because I'm afraid I'd get too much salt if I ate as much as I wanted. Anyway, I rationalize that I only take a small cereal bowl of them when I give in to this splurge. I used to eat an extra large soup bowl's worth of unsalted peanuts before, so in my mind, I think I'm making this big, healthy concession!

Well, the day of the previous post, I mentioned that I had been trying to scope out when was a healthy time to eat the peanuts, since I had been craving them. Later on, I figured out that what I was eating for dinner was light enough to allow myself a small cereal bowl of unsalted peanuts that evening, although I fill it to the point that the bowl could not hold one extra peanut tottering on the side.

When I tasted the peanuts, some of them were fine, but most of them tasted old, like they were turning rancid. Did that stop me from eating them? To be totally honest, I ate the bowl of them, although they didn't taste all that great. The next day, I had diarrhea most of the day! It became apparent that the Lord God, was trying to tell me that craving anything, even if it's eaten in a more healthy way, can become a false god to me. I was turning to it to relieves my stress rather than turning to the Lord, and putting it into His ever capable hands! The big clue that I wasn't aligned with the Lord, is the underlined portion, where I determined that I could have this splurge. Usually, I pray first, when contemplating a splurge, to see what God's will is, and I didn't do that this time! For one thing, the Lord God knew those peanuts were rancid and weren't good for me, but neither is craving something to the point it's unhealthy!

Wanting Peace or Do I????

So the land had peace for forty years, until Othniel, son of Kenaz, died. Judges 3:11 NIV Bible

I really picked this passage, because you would think that being so close to my goal weight would give me peace. I think there's this part of me that is afraid, that it's a limited thing, like in this passage. It lasted forty years, but then something happened to change all of it. Maybe that's whats causing me to be so apprehensive about getting to my goal weight and then being about 20 pounds over that weight for so many years!

Am I afraid that something bad is going to happen, or I'm going to get caught up in the lifestyle of the thin. I really think I'm beyond that, but I knew that was a concern when i first lost all my weight over 30 years ago. Maybe being 1 /14 pounds from my goal weight causes me to go back to those old concerns I had back then. I'm not certain.

I just know the Lord God has led me back to being almost to my goal weight and He will guide me with whatever He wants me to know. I'm just prayerfully pondering all of this while I'm typing this blog post. I think I should want to be at my goal weight, because it will give me peace, to be at that weight again, but do I really want it? I will continue to prayerfully ponder this dilemma. 

Close, Closer, and Closest!

 The watchman called out to the king and reported it. The king said, "If he is alone, he must have good news." And the runner came closer and closer. 2 Samuel 18:25 NIV Bible

Well, this post doesn't really have so much to do with this verse, exactly, but it has more to do with the closer and closer. I've mentioned periodically over the last few months that I am getting closer to my goal weight. I know that I was blessed that the Lord God allowed a weight loss of 80+ pounds, and that the vast majority of it to stay off for over 30 years. I did gain back about 20 pounds of that weight, and other than that, it stayed somewhat stable over the years.

I figured that weight was just the "Middle Age Spread" as they used to call it. It would go up a little and down a little, but I mainly tried to keep my eating balanced, except for occasional splurges, like having peanuts in the shell, as mentioned in my previous post. But this last year has been different. It seems I keep getting closer and closer to my goal weight without even trying to lose weight. At first, I wondered if I possibly had some type of terrible illness that would cause me to loose weight without even trying. After getting a physical, about nine months ago, and passing with flying colors, I found out that wasn't the case. That was good news, but I wasn't sure why I was still losing the weight.

I rarely get on the scale, because the Lord showed me many years ago, that I let the scale tell me, who I am! If my weight was lower, I was good, but if it was higher, I was bad. These are counterproductive self-induced labels I put upon myself, so I had to stop weighing so frequently. So, about a week and a half ago, I got on the scale again, previously to that, I was about 2 1/2 pounds from my goal weight. Well, when I got on the scale this time, I was something like 1 1/4 pounds from my goal weight. You would think I would be elated to be so close to my goal weight, but there's a part of me that is apprehensive. In fact, I may be at my goal weight now, but I'm reluctant to get on the scales again. All of this leaves me lots to prayerfully contemplate, and I feel certain that the Lord God will show me what I need to know!