Second-Hand Fear

 Fear and trembling seized me and made all my bones shake. Job 4:14 NIV Bible

It was the night after we had gone to visit a family member who was taken to the ER. I had been so afraid that person might not make it, that all I wanted to do was stress eat. Fortunately, God talked me out of it, but I still bought the bag of unsalted peanuts in the shell.

It turned out that the family member that we had gone to visit was O.K., but I still had the whole bag of unsalted peanuts that I bought the night before. I had been so stressed over the ER situation, all I had wanted to do was eat to calm my nerves! The funny thing is, I still felt something like residual fear over the situation the night afterwards and I still wanted to eat the bag of peanuts.

Somehow, I talked myself into thinking it would be alright to eat it, even though the Lord had it on my heart the night before not to do so. I am to turn to the Lord God for comfort and not food, which becomes a false god in situations like that. But did I listen that night? No, I ate the whole bag of peanuts, somehow feeling that I deserved it after all the stress that I went through the previous night. What a silly thing to do! I was deluding myself into thinking that second-hand fear justified eating an amount that was unhealthy for my body. Fortunately, the Lord God welcomes me back, when I stumble, but I shouldn't have pushed my relationship with Him to the limits. I'm so sorry about doing that!

I Was Caught Between Sanity and Insanity!

 Do not be afraid of them; the Lord your God , Himself will fight for you. Deuteronomy 3:22 NIV Bible

Recently, I visited a family member who got sick and was taken to the ER. The situation was so scary, I was afraid that person might not make it! It was about dinner time and we stopped by a local grocery store to get something to eat. My fear was so strong that my stomach was tied up in knots!

I was caught between sanity and insanity. One part of me really wanted to eat the whole bag of unsalted peanuts in a shell that I put in my cart. The other part of me, knew I picked it up, because of how afraid I was about the health of that family member. The sane part of me got some yogurt and oatmeal.

I had a war going on inside of me! I prayed and God let me know I shouldn't eat the nuts to relieve the stress. I had Him to turn to instead of food for comfort. Fortunately, I listened to the Lord God and had oatmeal and yogurt for dinner that night that felt much more soothing on my stomach. The Lord shows me what's good and not good for me, if I'd only ask Him.

Should I Have All the Food I Want?

 Your threshing will continue until grape harvest, and the grape harvest will continue until planting, and you will eat all the food you want and live in safety in your land. Leviticus 26.5 NIV Bible

So much of my life, including now, thoughts of food will creep in and try to kidnap me to days long ago, where my every waking thought revolved around food, what to eat, what not to eat, what I wanted to weigh, etc. I let food and my weight control my life. I ate when I was hungry, when I was bored and thought I was hungry, and when I was worried and felt like I was starved.

The Lord God showed me many years ago, that when I'm turning to food for comfort, it then, becomes a false god to me. I was turning to it, rather than putting these things in Christ's very capable hands. Once I did, food, the numbers on the scale, and all my concerns, no longer felt so overwhelming to me. I had this sense of calm, because the Lord had lifted all of these concerns off my shoulders.

It doesn't mean that I never had things that stressed or worried me. It doesn't mean that the scale numbers were always what I desired, it's more that I desired to be in an active relationship with Christ, and everything else fell in place. When Jesus, my Savior is first and foremost, these other things aren't worrisome, because I feel the Lord right beside me through thick and thin. 

I Should have been Full, but Still Wanted More!

 My mouth is filled with Your praise, declaring Your splendor all day long. Psalm 71:8 NIV Bible

I had a nice lunch out with a friend, but I still wanted more. When I should have felt full and satisfied, I wanted something sweet to eat. I'm hypoglycemic and I don't handle sugar well, so I try to stay away from sweets, other than fresh or frozen fruits. I can't say that I never eat sweets, but I have to make sure it's worth it, and that I consider it an 8, 9, or 10.

Well, we were at a Mediterranean Buffet and they had Baklava, rice pudding, and many other yummy, tempting things. I had been to this restaurant several times before. I had chosen both Baklava and the rice pudding, after my more than filling meal. I had a relative whose hypoglycemia turned to diabetes after eating too many sweets. So, after a previous visit, I had decided that I should choose between either Baklava or rice pudding but not both. 

Although Baklava is a 10 to me, I chose to get rice pudding, because it reminds me of when my mother used to make rice pudding and other puddings when I was younger. That decision in itself, wasn't so bad, but it was when I heaped it up on my plate, that should have caused me to rethink this! Although, I try to praise the Lord for all the wonderful things He's done for me, I found myself being greedy and focusing on food instead. I'm not proud of this, but fortunately for me, the Lord is very willing to refocus me, when I ask Him, and He can do this for you, if you truly ask Him.