Crying Out to the Lord

 If you do, and they cry out to Me, I will certainly hear their cry. Exodus 22:23 NIV Bible

Although this doesn't directly apply to the mentioned Bible passage, it does so indirectly, for I've cried out to the Lord, many times over the years about my weight. The thing is, although the Lord God hears when we cry out to Him, it is on His timing for these things, and not ours! It doesn't just necessarily happen the first or the 300th time you cry out to Him. It's in His timing! That's why I was so surprised after crying out to the Lord for so many years, about my weight, that He took care of it, when I was giving up trying! When I tried to figure it out, the Lord had it on my heart that it wasn't necessarily all the prayers that made the difference, but what I was asking in the prayers. I had been overweight and some unthoughtful people might have called "fat," for most of my life. 

I prayed so many times over the years, and came to the point that after bajillions of diets, and joining many weight loss groups, some several times, I was never going to be thin. So, I figured out, why continue to torture myself over this, I'm just going to give up. So, I prayed to God, saying, "I give up, Lord God, on ever being thin, and if You want me to be thin, You'll have to do it Yourself, because I can't!" 

Well, that same day, not the day before, or the day after, the Lord made this miraculous change in me, where I no longer craved extraordinarily large amounts of food or lots of sweets, and carbs. He blessed me with an 80+ pound weight loss, and has kept the vast majority of it off for over 30 years. Why? Although I can't know for certain, but my thoughts are that until that point, when I cried out to the Lord, I would pray, "Lord, help me loose the weight," where I was in control and God was assisting me. Now, it was different, in that, my control was being turned over to the Lord God. In my opinion, it makes a definite difference about what you ask in the prayers, and whether you want the control or are ready to turn the control over to the Lord God's very capable hands!

Finding Time to Pray

 And He left them and went out of the city to Bethany, where He spent the night. Matthew 21:17 NIV Bible

Jesus Christ didn't just wait until there was an ideal moment to pray to God, He made the time. That's a significant lesson for me. I make all these plans like: I'll pray when I use the restroom. Sometimes I do, but I often find myself daydreaming about what I need to do, or need to make for dinner. 

I found that when I go into my room and turn the lights out, that's my best way to pray, as long as I don't fall asleep. Have I done that in a while? No, and it saddens me, because that's the way I had special time with Christ when He first blessed me with the weight loss. He helped me identify what things were bothering that I ended up eating over. He showed me that I can't fix everything for everyone I care about, sometime even for myself. He was there through thick and thin, and do I find the time for Him?

No, not the way it really should be. Not in planned out, focused times of prayer. Not that it has to be at a certain time or place every day, but making my relationship with my Lord and Savior has to be a priority, not just when I want something or I'm afraid. Jesus Christ made me a priority, and you too, when He gave His life on the cross, died, was buried and rose again to save us from our sins. I need to be much better at making Him my priority, not just when I get around to it!!!

The Fear of Fear

 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18 NIV Bible

I was afraid of everything. I was afraid of not being chosen for games and sports. If I was eventually chosen, I was afraid that I would do something wrong and prove to them that they were right in picking me toward the very end. I was afraid of not being good enough, bright enough, pretty enough, and especially thin enough!

But my fears didn't stop there. I was fearful of speaking out in group, in case I might say something someone found offensive. That kept me from drawing attention to things that really should've have addressed. I didn't speak up for those who were laughed at, even though I knew what it was like to be laughed at. I didn't stand up for those who were left out for various differences, even though I knew what it was like to be left out. I didn't welcome those who sat on the outskirts, although I knew what it felt like to stand on the sidelines while others looked like they were having fun.

The thing is, God has shown me that through all my many shortcomings, He has given me an opportunity to draw attention to those laughed at, left out, and ignored. He shows me that I need to lead by example, here and now, and with what I say to others. It's too high a price to pay to give up for voice for including others and hide behind the fear of fear! 

Jesus Christ is WONDERful!

 He performs wonders that can't be fathomed, miracles that can't be counted. Job 5:9 NIV Bible

Being on this site, you probably already know that the Lord God allowed me to loose over 80 pounds and to keep the vast majority of the weight off for over 30 years. It was a pretty amazing and wonderful miracle. I had been to diet programs, joined groups, got staples in my ears, and tried so many different diets, and fads, only to regain more weight that any I had lost.

When I told God I was giving up, I really was. I was putting Him on notice, that I couldn't ever be thin, and if He wanted me to be thin, He'd have to do it Himself, because I sure couldn't. Now, it may not seem like such a big miracle to some, but that weight loss came from nothing I did. The day I relinquished my power, and turned it over to the Lord God, without even realizing that's what I had done, changed my whole life. Actually, I was expecting anything to happen, but God changed everything that very day. 

Immediately God made it that I wasn't craving large servings of food or sweets, to fill my bottomless pit, that always felt hungry. In thinking back, I think it felt this way, because I turned to food for comfort when I was stressed, happy, worried, or bored, instead of putting all my concerns in Jesus Christ's very capable hands. When I started doing that, the weight disappeared without diets, pills, or groups, although He has shown me what works for my body and what doesn't. He picks me up when I start to slide back into old eating patterns, and He reminds me that all power needs to be in His very capable hands and not mine!

I'm Not Perfect, Just Forgiven!

 Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgive, whose sins are covered. Psalm 3:21 NIV Bible

I've done some pretty stupid, thoughtless, unforgiveable things in my life, but I'm forgiven! I've lied, stolen, and almost cheated. I've done so many things I regret, they are difficult to remember. I did want to address the highlighted line, though! I told my mother that a girl named Sally, down the street had given me the money that I was taking to the store to buy candy, rather than admit I had taken my sister's money out of her globe bank. My mother was a very smart woman. She told me that she talked to Sally and she said she hadn't given me any money. How could I argue with that? I ended up admitting to my crime. The thing is, there was no one down the street named Sally. My mother knew all along that I had made that excuse up. I wasn't very good at telling lies. I stole some candy from the store twice when I was in elementary school. I didn't get caught, but it pained my heart so much knowing that God was aware of what I had done, that I could no longer do it. 

When I was in high school, a friend knew how worried I was that I wouldn't do well on my Spanish test, and offered to help me on it. I don't mean that she was going to help me study for it. She sat in front of me and she planned that she would help me pass the test. The things is, my conscience wouldn't allow me to do it. In the middle of the test, the teacher called both of us into the other room. The teacher must have overheard the friend in front of me telling me the correct answers. He scolded us and I was worried I would get suspended, but nothing more ever happened. I figured he must have looked at my test and realized that I put my less than adequate answers, rather than choose to put the correct answers my friend gave me. 

Yes, I've done many dishonest things in my life, but I'm thankful the Lord God made something interfere each time. They kept me from feeling good about these actions, whether it was my mother, my conscience, or a teacher. Fortunately, the Lord God made me feel good again inside, when I asked for His forgiveness for each of these. That's why I titled this, I'm not perfect, just forgiven!