Since I have used this Bible passage as an example of how the Lord God has positively influenced my overeating, this doesn't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the verse. Debbie

COE Support Note:

If you REALLY want to read how Christ helped me throughout this weight loss and even when I was tempted, you should read some of the 100's of previous posts on https://christianovereaterssupport.blogspot.com/

This Struggle for Self...

Matthew 18:11 For the Son of man is come to save that was lost.

Doing this blog is much more therapeutic than I thought. My original blog post has kept my mind thinking of so many more issues that I need to talk about that have affected my eating and self-perception.

I talked in the last blog post about wanting people to think I'm capable, someone who thinks outside the box, etc. When I thought about it more, I realized that I am trying to hide behind these attributes, trying to get people to like me. Why? I think it's because I don't think they will really care about me, so I feel I have to be this really dependable, best friend ever, most responsible employee, etc. so that people are so impressed with these qualities, they overlook my shortcomings, especially the part of me that feels that I am unlovable. The part of me that felt fat even when I was thin, and feels even worse, because some of the weight has come back after all these years.

The thing is, most of all my eating problems stemmed not as much from my eating habits as from not feeling worthy of other people's friendship, love, and respect. As I write this, I realize that I was afraid that other people wouldn't love me, because I was overweight, but more than that, I don't think I loved myself, because I was overweight.

What healed me before was when I turned all this pain, insecurities, and insight over to God, who loves me dearly, regardless of whether I'm fat, thin, gaining weight back or otherwise.  He loves me even when I don't love myself. So, it's important in this struggle for self, along with the goal of being at a healthy weight and maintaining it, I need to stay focused on Jesus, my Savior who saves me from the world, myself, and all my insecurities. Debbie Matthew 18:11 For the Son of man is come to save that was lost.

Since I have used this Bible passage as an example of how God has positively influenced my overeating, this does not necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the verse.




Trying to Project That I Am Whole to Others

Matthew 9: 12 But when Jesus heard that, He said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. 13 But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

I believe that Satan appeals to each person in different ways. For some it's alcohol, and for others it's drugs, or gambling, etc. My eating is the subtle way that Satan works a wedge in my relationship with God. When I've let food become a god to me, turning to it rather than turning to God with my feelings, I need to remember that I, too, am a sinner and He can heal me, if I let Him. 

Jesus was talking about me in this passage. I spent a lot of years trying to look whole to others. I tried to be the one they turned to, because they thought I was responsible, I was a creative thinker, I was honest, I was dependable. But what I wasn't, was honest with myslf and with God. Sometimes, I'm not as whole as I project to others. Sometimes, I can be there for everyone else except for myself, rushing through my "quiet time with God" which refreshes me and makes me whole. When I get too busy for myself, which is more common than not, I find I'm more sloppy with my eating program. My portion sizes seem larger. I allow myself all too many "special splurges." When I turn my focus to Jesus, who makes me whole, these things seem to fall into their proper perspective.

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