Since I have used this Bible passage as an example of how the Lord God has positively influenced my overeating, this doesn't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the verse. Debbie

COE Support Note:

If you REALLY want to read how Christ helped me throughout this weight loss and even when I was tempted, you should read some of the 100's of previous posts on https://christianovereaterssupport.blogspot.com/

This Struggle for Self-

Matthew 18:11 For the Son of man is come to save that was lost.

Doing this blog is much more therapeutic than I thought. My original blog post has kept my mind thinking of so many more issues that I need to talk about that have affected my eating and self-perception.

I talked in the last blog post about wanting people to think I'm capable, someone who thinks outside the box, etc. When I thought about it more, I realized that I am trying to hide behind these attributes, trying to get people to like me. Why? I think it's because I don't think they will really care about me. I think I feel I have to be this really dependable, best friend ever, most responsible employee, etc. so that people are so impressed with these qualities. If they are, maybe they will overlook my shortcomings, especially the part of me that feels that I am unlovable. The part of me that felt fat even when I was thin, and feels even worse, because some of the weight has come back after all these years.

The thing is, most of all my eating problems stemmed not as much from my eating habits as from not feeling worthy of other people's friendship, love, and respect. As I write this, I realize that I was afraid that other people wouldn't love me, because I was overweight, but more than that, I don't think I loved myself, because I was overweight.

What healed me before was when I turned all this pain, insecurities, and insight over to God. God loves me dearly, regardless of whether I'm fat, thin, gaining weight back or otherwise.  He loves me even when I don't love myself. So, it's important during this struggle for self, along with the goal of being at a healthy weight, that I need to stay focused on Jesus, my Savior who saves me from the world, myself, and all my insecurities. Debbie Matthew 18:11 For the Son of man is come to save that was lost.

Since I have used this Bible passage as an example of how God has positively influenced my overeating, this does not necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the verse.





Trying to Project That I Am Whole to Others-

Matthew 9: 12 But when Jesus heard that, He said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. 13 But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

I believe that Satan appeals to each person in different ways. For some it's alcohol, and for others it's drugs, or gambling, etc. My eating is the subtle way that Satan works a wedge in my relationship with God. When I've let food become a god to me, turning to it rather than turning to God with my feelings, I need to remember that I, too, am a sinner and He can heal me, if I let Him. 

Jesus was talking about me in this passage. I spent a lot of years trying to look whole to others. I tried to be the one they turned to, because they thought I was responsible, I was a creative thinker, I was honest, I was dependable. But what I wasn't, was honest with myslf and with God. Sometimes, I'm not as whole as I project to others. Sometimes, I can be there for everyone else except for myself, rushing through my "quiet time with God" which refreshes me and makes me whole. When I get too busy for myself, which is more common than not, I find I'm more sloppy with my eating program. My portion sizes seem larger. I allow myself all too many "special splurges." When I turn my focus to Jesus, who makes me whole, these things seem to fall into their proper perspective.

Since I have used this Bible passage as an example of how God has positively influenced my overeating, this does not necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the verse.


Going Through the Motions

This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Last night, I was watching TV. I made some microwave popcorn for other family members. In the last couple of months, I have downed almost a whole bag of our low calorie popcorn when I've been stressed. This time, I looked and found a third of a bag of popcorn and decided to try that, because it wouldn't allow me to eat too much.

I was watching the show and was enjoying it with family. During the time, I found myself mindlessly eating the popcorn. I asked myself if I was stressed and was doing it to hide things I was worried about. I've done this all too many times in my life, but I wasn't this time. I was trying to be prayerful about this while I crammed a couple more handfuls of popcorn in my mouth. I got the feeling it was just mindless eating. I ate a few more handfuls and realized that if God's showing me this, there's a reason. He wants the best for me, so I quickly asked for His help. I had to struggle with pulling the bag away from my automatic arm that was like those on slot machines, but mine kept coming up with another handful of popcorn. It wasn't easy handing the bag to my husband, because I hadn't finished all the way to the bottom, which was difficult. This lets me know that Satan's tempting me with some of my old behaviors. He knows where I'm vulnerable!

God wants me mindful in all I do. My actions in my relationships, my eating, and my faith need to be mindful. I can't just be a Mindless Christian, going through the motions by going to church, but not applying it to my life. I can't go through life only focused on what I want and not what Christ wants. I can't have meaningful relationships with others if I'm just mindlessly going through the motions. I need to be more mindful in all aspects of my life and Christ will get me to that point if I only ask Him. This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse.


God Pays Attention to the Small Details

Moreover thou shalt make the tabernacle with ten curtains of fine twined linen, and blue, and purple, and scarlet: with cherubims of cunning work shalt thou make them. The length of one curtain shall be eight and twenty cubits, and the breadth of one curtain four cubits: and every one of the curtains shall have one measure. Exodus 26: 1-2

I was think about this and other passages today in the Bible where God gives exact measurements and details about how they are supposed to build his tabernacle/temple/church. What amazed me was that God goes to such great detail in explaining what something should look like, what it should measure, what it should be and how it relates to everything in the rest of His description. That might not seem significant to some, but it is pretty amazing to me!

God takes care of the fine details. He did it throughout the Bible, so He does it in our lives today. Sure, I'm not building something as significant as a church, but if  God pays attention to the small details in building, I'm certain that He pays attention to the small details in my life, like my eating and turning to food instead of turning to Him in times of stress. Like, when I'm afraid to share my faith with others. Like, when I'm afraid of future unknown financial situations. Like, when I'm trying to be in control of all these situations.

When Christ took away my urge to eat large amounts of food away, He took care of all the details. He helped show me an eating plan that worked for me. He took the cravings away and healed my self-esteem where I got my reassurance, when struggling, from Him and not from food. If God can take care of all the small details in my life and eating, He doesn't want me to worry about financial situations. He doesn't want me to attempt to be in control of all the things that arise in life. If I'm trying to be in control of these things, I'm not turning to God to be in control. Either that or I'm turning to God and I'm asking Him to help me do this and help me to that, which means I'm trying to be in control and need to be mindful that this needs to change.

 When God went to such great lengths to cover every little detail that these early followers needed to know, don't I think He will take care of the small details in my own life? He has in the past, and I need to remind myself that He will continue to do so if I let Him. Moreover thou shalt make the tabernacle with ten curtains of fine twined linen, and blue, and purple, and scarlet: with cherubims of cunning work shalt thou make them. The length of one curtain shall be eight and twenty cubits, and the breadth of one curtain four cubits: and every one of the curtains shall have one measure. Exodus 26: 1-2


Honest with My Eating

Ye shall have just balances, and a just ephah, and a just bath. The ephah and the bath shall be of one measure, that the bath may contain the tenth part of an homer, and ephah the tenth part of an homer: the measure thereof shall be after the homer. Ezekiel 45: 10-11

So what do weights that balances that I don't even understand have to do with my eating? That's a good question. The thing is, when I read this passage this morning, the thought went through my mind that God has said several times in the Bible that He wants people to use just weights and balances in the Bible. Honesty is important to God. He doesn't want people putting their thumb on the scale to deceive people, so that they pay more for something than their receive.

Well, the thought was that if God went to such great lengths to make sure we are honest in our business dealings, wouldn't He want me to be honest with my eating, as well? So, here goes! I'm struggling right now with my eating. There have been quite a few times when I've been in situations where the majority of my meals revolved around lots of carbs, which I call "breads." Like when I had a Nacho Salad for dinner at a restaurant when we were celebrating a birthday, with a bazillion nacho chips I felt compelled to eat all of. Some of these times, I had already used all my "bread" allotment by noon, but still was faced with high carb meal options at dinner time.

At first, it really bothered me to be going beyond my "bread" limit. Since it's happened several times within the last month, I've gotten to the point that I've been complacent about it. I haven't even spent much time trying to find other healthier options when we've been out. To top it all off, my husband wants lasagna for dinner tonight. Lasagna in of itself is fine, but I'm often tempted to eat more of this high carb meal, because a slice the size that I'm allowed doesn't seem like enough to get me through the evening. I can already tell that my clothes are starting to get kinda tight and don't want to be slip-sliding back into poor eating habits. I want to be an Honest Christian, not just with my food, but with all aspects of my life.

When I'm letting food be a vice that controls my life, I'm not letting God be in control of my life. Christ gave His life for our salvation, not that we can delude ourselves into letting vices interfere in our relationship with Him. I need to pray for God's healing touch in my life and turn my food, my honesty, and my control over into His very capable hands. Ye shall have just balances, and a just ephah, and a just bath. The ephah and the bath shall be of one measure, that the bath may contain the tenth part of an homer, and ephah the tenth part of an homer: the measure thereof shall be after the homer. Ezekiel 45: 10-11



Crazy Kind of Logic

Our help is in the name of the LORD, who made heaven and earth. Psalm 124:8

I don't what going on, but I have gorged myself twice in one month. That's too big to be a coincidence, so I need to be prayerful why. The first time, I overate at a salad bar for lunch and then ate part of a dinner when I already knew I was too full.

This time, I ordered a big nacho salad that was wonderful. I ate half and packed the rest in a to-go box. On the way home, I tried to eat most of the rest, because I had decided the nacho chips would get limp later and wouldn't taste as good. Was this good logic? Yes and No! Yes, the nacho chips would have gotten limp, but I didn't need to eat the rest of it. I made my stomach sick gorging myself on the rest of the nacho salad so it didn't waste.

This is the crazy kind of logic I used to use before I turned my food, my stress, and my eating over to the very capable hands of Christ. What was wrong? Examining everything, I was taking some fiber daily that has sugar added to it. Maybe that extra sugar was bringing up that old way of thinking. Maybe it was the few extra tastes I had done recently when I tasted an oatmeal from a new recipe to see if it taste right. Maybe it was the big bite of cake I had recently at a birthday party. Maybe I'm getting back into the I's and Me's. I've been dealing with control issues a lot recently. Maybe it's all of these, but I'm not certain. What I do know is that Christ healed me of this crazy kind of logic and eating before and He can do it again. I prayed and prayed this morning asking Christ to heal my body, food, and eating, because I can't. I asked Him to be in control, because I have control issues and have difficulty relinquishing it. I prayed for His healing touch in my life, because I know He can make me the Christian He wants me to be. Our help is in the name of the LORD, who made heaven and earth. Psalm 124:8

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse.


Food Issues Again, but Different

It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. Psalm 118:8

We had a roast for dinner and I told my husband that I had put everything in the crockpot in the fridge for stew the next day. He asked if he could add some celery to it. I told him that he could, but asked that he nuke it in water first, so that the celery isn't too crunchy. Then he asked if he could add onion to the stew I had prepared. I told him he could, but no more than a quarter of the onion, because sometimes onions can be overpowering. Next, he asked if he could cut some tomatoes up for the stew. I told him that a couple chopped really fine would be alright. I explained that I don't like food with big chunks of tomato in it. Then, he decided he wanted to put a can of chopped tomatoes in it. I asked if he could make sure there weren't big chunks and not to put the whole pound in.

By this time, I was so frustrated I had to go into my room. I do that so I can be prayerful about things and calm down and not say things I regret later. Well, I must not have spent enough time being prayerful, because when I went back out, I started explaining how I felt about his wanting to change the stew I had already made and had sitting in the crockpot to heat for the next day. Now, did I say these things with an understanding smile on my face? You got it! I was less than patient and had to go back to my room to say more prayers before I lived to regret the things coming out of my mouth. This time, I was able to return and joke it all of saying that if this is the worst thing we have to deal with in our marriage, we are very blessed!

Later that evening, I prayerfully contemplated all of this after I said my evening prayers. It turns out that far more significant than chunks of tomato in the stew that I had been planning for a couple days. Again, I was having problems with food, but this time they were control issues about relinquishing the control to someone else. It was difficult for me to allow him to make all those changes. It was difficult for me to not take it personally. It was difficult for me to turn it over to God, because this was the third time I'd prayed about this situation that day and I still felt justified in being upset.  I had to pray and ask to turn over my need to be in control to God who can heal me of all the things that interfere in my relationship with Him, my family, and myself. It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. Psalm 118:8

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse.



I Downed Almost a Whole Bag of Popcorn!

Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

I realize that this Bible verse is about God keeping my mouth shut, rather than saying inappropriate, rude or hurtful things. I do need that, but I also need the literal meaning of this same verse.

My dad called and was telling me that he had really bad heartburn. I talked to him about ringing the buzzer on his bed to get a nurse, so he can request something for the heartburn. He didn't want to do that. I talked to him about my calling the nurse's station to request that they bring Dad something for his heartburn, but he told me not to. I asked several more times, because he sometimes changes his mind a little later, but he always told me no. Then, he told me that the heartburn pains radiate into his heart. I told them that I wanted to call the nurse's station, so they could get a doctor to see him, but he told me no again, several times.

After that call, I was watching TV with my husband. I had what I call the munchies. At first, I was going to get the frozen pecans, but realized I could possibly down a whole bag of them which would end up being tons of fat. Instead, I decided on the low-fat, low-salt, low-calorie popcorn I have. It may have had lots less calories and fat, but I downed almost the whole bag. It felt like I couldn't stop eating it, nor did I want to. When I realized there was almost nothing left in the bag, I said a quick prayer asking God to help me and He did. Trying to be prayerful about this, I tried to figure out why I couldn't stop and why I didn't want to. It turns out that I was really stressed about the heartburn pains my dad was having that radiate to his heart and that he wouldn't let me call the nurse's station. I felt so helpless. Instead, if I weren't hiding my feelings and stress by munching on popcorn, I should have turned these feelings over to Christ, who would have calmed me and gotten me through these feelings without wreaking havoc on my body. I need to be a Turn to Christ First Christian, and let Him heal me rather than hiding behind a bag of popcorn. Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not the whole meaning of the Bible verse.


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