Since I have used this Bible passage as an example of how the Lord God has positively influenced my overeating, this doesn't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the verse. Debbie

COE Support Note:

If you REALLY want to read how Christ helped me throughout this weight loss and even when I was tempted, you should read some of the 100's of previous posts on https://christianovereaterssupport.blogspot.com/

I Find Myself Hiding Behind My Fat

Hebrews 13: 5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. 6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

The last couple of blog posts have been about dealing with my body image. I tend to find myself hiding behind my fat. I've found that when I'm heavier, I feel more comfortable about myself and my body. When I'm at my goal weight or close to it, I find myself feeling insecure about my body and my interactions with others.

Now, is this what God wanted for me when He allowed me to lose the 80+ pounds over 30 years ago? Definitely not! So, why am I letting this happen, now. Again, it's because I've been hiding behind my fat. It must have been my own little protective wall to keep me from dealing with the rest of the world. When I'm hiding behind my fat, I can watch the world from a distance and not be actively involved. 

That should sound terrible to me, as I type this, but it really doesn't. I've spent a big portion of my life being a bystander and I must like it, because I find myself wearing frumpy clothes when I'm thinner, so I can revert to my bystander status. Is being a bystander in life safer? Is that why I'm doing this? Wow! God has these blog posts to heal me as much as anyone else. 

This protective wall I've developed, whether by fat or by baggy clothing, feels comfortable to me. Is that good? If I'm hiding behind something, I would think that means I'm not being open to being the person that God wants me to be. He didn't take all that weight away from me for nothing, but I'm still clinging on to it, although it's not there. Isn't that strange? 

You would think I would be elated to be free of the excess weight. I mostly am, but it also means I have to come to terms with unwanted attention from others and comments that make me feel uncomfortable, so I've been hiding. I guess God's telling me that it's time that I came out of hiding and start trusting Him to protect me. Hebrews 13: 5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. 6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

Since I am applying these Bible Verses to my life, it may not convey the whole meaning of the verses. Debbie

Did I Always Put You Last, God?

We love Him, because He first loved us.  1 John 4:19

That's what I found myself asking God while I was praying tonight. The answer I got saddens me to the core, but I try to be honest with my readers. At the time this question crossed my heart, I was asking God to take care of all of my concerns before I asked Him to take care of my relationship with Him and my prayers. I guess I really do make Him last. I thought this was so significant that I changed the post I was going to have come out, so you can read this now, so that you don't make the same mistakes that I have.

For many years I turned to food instead of to God, putting food and turning to God last. This is the way I dealt with my stress until I learned that I could turn all my food, eating, and stress over into God's hands. For many years, I turned to friends and family for their opinions on situations, before turning to God. Again, I was putting God last, until He showed me that I should turn to Him in all things and listen to the instincts that He gives me on situations. When I do this, I'm never disappointed, but when I don't, I don't turn to God first and listen to man, I am quite often disappointed in the outcome.

Each day, I pray for God to take care of my food, body, eating, and stress and He does. God had me lose over 80 pounds and has kept off the vast majority of it for more than 30 years, but did I put Him first? No, my request for God to make me a better Christian, have a better relationship with Him, and have more focused prayers are always at the end of my prayers.

Jesus made me first. He gave His life for me, even knowing what an ungrateful person I am. I didn't make Him first, although I love Him deeply. In realizing this, I've found that I've repeatedly put myself, food, and others first before God, when I've always felt that God is most important in my life. They say that actions speak louder than words. If that's true, I've failed God miserably, yet He still loves me and gave His life for me.

I have so much to be thankful for. I have a Lord who loves me and wants me to be the Christian He knows I can be on His behalf. Fortunately, for me He blesses me with painful insights that move me closer to that. I am thankful because Jesus first loved me, and He loved you first, regardless of your size, how much you earn, your ethnicity, or your past mistakes. He, too, will heal your heart if you only let Him.  1 John 4:19 We love Him, because He first loved us. 

Trying to Micro Manage God Through My Prayers...

And He [Jesus] went a little farther, and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, O My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from Me: nevertheless not as I will, but as Thou wilt.  Matthew 26:39

Jesus is faced with this major ordeal, because He knows He is about to be mocked, crucified, and rise again to save us. Knowing what is to befall Him, Jesus asks for God's will, not His. Do I do this? I go through the motions, but I've come to realize that I am trying to micro manage God through my prayers.

I ask God to take care of my weight, food, eating, and stress. I find that I'm still trying to maintain control in my life, because I will often give God specific details of what He should and shouldn't do in these matters. How is that totally trusting God??? If I were truly trusting God like Jesus did, I would trust God's will, God's timing, God's outcomes-not mine!

I think I'm making progress (that's where Satan sneaks in with his subtle wedge and undermines my relationship with God through my pride.) I've just realized that my micro managing goes beyond my relationship with God. While writing this, my husband came in to tell me about some business letters he had written. I was asking to make sure that he had included particular things. This frustrated him to the point that he said I was trying to be in control of everything, which is very unlike my husband.

 I'm really thinking that this blog post is specifically for me due to God's timing of my husband's comment. I must be getting too lax in turning my control and the willingness to turn my control over into God's very capable hands. Although I'm saddened by my back stepping, I am so thankful God lets me know what I need to do and doesn't just let me flounder.  And He [Jesus] went a little farther, and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, O My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from Me: nevertheless not as I will, but as Thou wilt.  Matthew 26:39

Being Insensitive to Others with Vices...

Matthew 18: 32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredest me: 33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thou fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? 34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. 

After I lost the weight, it would have been easy to blend in with others and laugh when they made negative comments about those who were heavy. At first, I realized how easy it could be to fit in with everyone else, but how could I do that? God has blessed me by allowing me to lose over 80+ pounds and keep the majority of it off for over 30 years. How could I forget what a blessing I have been given and turn my back on others who are still suffering through this? How could I forget all the pain I felt when people looked at me and turned their heads and snickered. How could I forget what it felt like when people ignored the things I shared and turned to others in the group, as if their ideas were much more credible because they were thinner? How can I forget the self-loathing and pain that comes with a low self-esteem?

Although forgetting may make life easier, remembering and showing respect to others with any type of vice helps me remember how blessed I truly am. It makes me remember that my Lord has forgiven me so much, but won't forgive me being insensitive to others with vices. In some ways, it heals my soul, the soul of the fat person inside of me whose self-esteem lags, at times. Matthew 18: 32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredest me: 33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thou fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? 34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. 35 So likewise shall My heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

When I Turned My Control Over to God, My Life, My Weight, and My Relationships Started to Change...

Matthew 6: 7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. 8 Be not ye therefore like unto them; for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask Him.

I saw something in a movie the other day that reminded me of how God's worked in my life in a similar way. For most of my life, I've said these elaborate prayers, but it wasn't until I gave up and turned my control over to God, who knows my every need, that my life, my weight, and my relationships started to change.

I was influenced by this story I heard years ago. It reminds me so much of myself and my relationship with God. There was this young man who walked to the edge of the cliff to look down and see what was at the bottom. All of a sudden, the dirt he was standing on started to crumble and he found himself falling. He grabbed onto a root that was sticking out from the side of the cliff and he called out, "God, if You're out there, help me!"

God replies, "Yes, My son."

The man says, "Save me, God, for I have fallen and can't hold on much longer."

God says, "Let go of the root, My son."

The man's response is, "Is there anyone else out there?"

So many times, I haven't trusted God to take care of me, my life, my weight, and my relationships with others. When I felt God was leading me in particular directions that felt uncomfortable, I, just like the young man started doubting God and second-guessing the instincts He gave me. In the story above, there might have been a little ledge just inches below his feet where he could have slid to the safety that God provided, but he couldn't trust God would take care of him. He looked elsewhere.

 I no longer want to turn to food, others, and vices to heal my aching soul and relationships. I need to say, "God, if you want me to do this, I am willing to do Your will, because I know You will hold me in Your very capable hands." Matthew 6: 7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. 8 Be not ye therefore like unto them; for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask Him.

How Am I Showing My Thanks to God for Allowing Me to Lose All That Weight?

Insomuch that the multitude wondered, when they saw the dumb to speak, the maimed to be whole, the lame to walk, and the blind to see: and they glorified the God of Israel. Matthew 15:31

I am at a loss with this one...no pun intended. Many people became Christians when they saw all those who were healed by Jesus. Jesus healed me of over 80+ pounds of excess weight over 30 years ago and again the 27 pounds I gained back by being sloppy with my food and my relationship with God.

I feel that God has done this major miracle in my life, but what am I doing to allow others to see this, so that they might come to believe in Jesus? I sit behind this keyboard typing away at blog posts, but am I truly focusing on Jesus, so that others might see His hand in my life? Am I using it as a minimal attempt to do God's will? Am I helping anyone realize that God cares about all things in our lives big and small, including our weight, especially if it negatively affects our relationship with Him and others?

When I've tried to share how God allowed me to lose 80+ pounds over 30 years ago, most people minimize what I say and say God helps him who helps himself....something that isn't in the Bible.  Actually, that's why I got started reading the Bible from cover to cover over 30 years ago. On the contrary, God tells us over and over in the Bible that He wants us to turn to Him in all things. God helps him who helps himself was one of the morals in Hercules and the Wagoner, an Aesop's Fable. If you'd like to know more about this, check out my other blog Bible Passages That Can Influence Your Life and click on the February 4, 2012 post entry under Archives. 

How am I showing my thanks for God allowing me to lose all that weight? As I said, I'm at a loss. I'm hoping that sharing the things I feel led to share in these posts are helpful, the good, the bad, and the embarrassing. At this point, I feel that I just need to be open to see what God wants me to do and right now, it's the blog. I would appreciate your considering to help forward this ministry by sharing a link to this or my other blog to those who need to see the Miracles that Jesus does in our lives today. Thanks! Debbie Seiling  Insomuch that the multitude wondered, when they saw the dumb to speak, the maimed to be whole, the lame to walk, and the blind to see: and they glorified the God of Israel. Matthew 15:31

Since this is an example of the positive influence God has made on my overeating, this may not reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse.



I Don't See Much of a Jewel, but God Does...

And they shall be Mine, saith the Lord of hosts, in that day when I make up My jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him. Malachi 3:17

There are some days that I look in the mirror and I don't see much of a jewel, but God does!   I see bulges and wrinkles, but God doesn't look on us with human eyes. I see the results of all too many helpings of food, when I turned to food instead of turning to God to heal my aching heart. 

Fortunately, not only does God heal our aching hearts and bodies, when we turn them over to Him, but He sees us as only a loving Father could. God sees the good in us, even when we look through the eyes of shame at all the mistakes we've made. God sees the potential within us, even when we feel like failures. 

God is much more than that. He has confidence in us, even when we don't. He knows that if we turn to Him and let Him guide us, He will show us how to become His precious jewels. So precious, in fact, that His only begotten Son, Jesus, suffered persecution and gave His life, and arose for us, so that we could one day join God in heaven as His jewels. And they shall be Mine, saith the Lord of hosts, in that day when I make up My jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him. Malachi 3:17

Using The "F" Word...

The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness. Proverbs 10:32

Now, I'm not talking about using just any F Word, but the one that cuts to the core of any overeater---someone calling us FAT. It's not the same when we might, on occasion, refer to ourselves as Fat. We pick our timing ever so carefully before we dare use the F Word. Sometimes, we are just trying to say it first, before anyone else lets the F Word out in our presence. When other people use the F Word, there is an extreme level of disgust directed toward the person they are referring to. 

I recently watched a movie where a team leader repeatedly called a team member Fat. Fat, Fat... What a cruel and hateful thing to do. He treated the team member like he was worthless, his feelings didn't matter because he was overweight, and he was only of use as long as he made the team leader look good. 

I realize that was just a movie, but the feelings that this scene evoked rang true! There have been people I have encountered who are like this to those of us who are or who have been overweight, to those of different cultures, to those who have handicaps of one kind or another, and the list goes on. 

What do we, as Christians, do when we encounter people who are insensitive enough to use the F Word in our presence? Do we say equally hateful, insensitive things back to them? Fortunately, God forgives me for my many, many mistakes I've made over the years and He wants us to do likewise...even to those who dare use the F Word in our presence.  The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness. Proverbs 10:32

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